World Championship Barbecue-Cooking Contest, May 17-19

BBQAlso known as “Super Bowl of Swine,” the World Championship Barbecue-Cooking Contest sounds like a mighty fine time — at least, if you like pork. Shredded, pulled, piled high, or on a slab, this Memphis tradition features opportunities for you to pick up some BBQ tips for yourself (if you sign up for the Cooker Caravan, a free guided tour of the teams), as well as the chance to help select the winner.

Don’t be so preoccupied stuffing your belly that you miss the Ms. Piggie Competition. Unlike any beauty contest you’ve ever seen, this contest pits grown men squeezed into tutus and snouts parading around a stage, singing. Is it hilarious…or awful? You be the judge.

Either way: it’s in Memphis. This is also a great opportunity to check out Beale Street and Graceland. When I was at Beale Street a few years ago, each time we walked into a bar, any band that was playing immediately went on break. Was it me?