You know what Lolcats are, right? They’re the pictures of cats accompanied by depressingly unfunny “lolspeak” captions which are posted almost exclusively by single women over 40 who are desperately waiting for anyone to click on their Match.com profiles.
Well, apparently Americans haven’t cornered the market on this phenomenon. Russians love their Lolcats, too. But since their captions are printed in the Cyrillic alphabet, most English-speakers are unfortunately left out of all Russian Lolcat fun.
Which brings us to ?olcats, a hilarious site which provides “English translations of Eastern Bloc Lolcats.” The typical made-up caption reads like something out of an old Soviet propaganda novel. A couple examples:
“We sleep with vigor. Content with the knowledge that Lenin’s body shall never decay.”
“I swear I spoke no ill of The Party.”
“Submit with honor, and you will earn a proper burial among your fathers.”