SkyMall Monday: Leather Driving Gloves

I love a good road trip. There’s nothing better than leaving the SkyMall Monday headquarters and exploring this great country of ours. But the rigors of a long car ride can often be too much for a man to handle. I’m not talking about my legs getting stiff or all the fast food I eat at rest stops. No, it’s the blisters. When I drive, it’s a white knuckle adventure and it wears out my silky smooth, heavily-moisturized skin. I’ve tried steering with my knees, my mouth and my mind, but nothing seems to provide the control and and stability that highway patrolman demand that I possess. What’s a dainty-handed man to do? Rather than loosen my grip or remove the sandpaper steering wheel cover, I’ve decided to learn a lesson from the past. You see, when automobiles first came on the scene, there was romance and style. Drivers were debonair and handsomely attired. They protected their eyes with goggles, necks with scarves and hands with gloves. Because you can’t just grip the wheel, shift the gears and text your mistress with unprotected hands. You need to be safe. You need a coating that only a dead animal hide can give you. You need SkyMall’s Leather Driving Gloves.

Why do you need driving gloves? Well, if you’re like me, even passive activities make you sweat like a pig. Simply getting out of bed in the morning causes me to glisten like a glazed donut. I can’t have the steering wheel slipping out of my hand while on another one of my wacky adventures in the SkyMall Monday Mobile. And speaking of donuts, who wants that mess all over their fingers while driving? Think I’m not fit to operate a motor vehicle or a Gadling post? Well, SkyMall disagrees:

Buttery soft… thin enough to tune the radio. So comfortable they feel like a second skin. Ventilation notches keep your palms dry, even in a tricky hairpin turn.

Finally, a glove that is thin enough to give me that precision radio control that I need. And everyone knows that 88% of palm sweat incidents occur during turns. It’s nice to see a glove that addresses that scourge of the road.

Look, you can drive naked if you want, but when your palms sweat and you crash your car into a tree, you’ll be embarrassed when the police have to use the jaws of life to cut your naked body out of your car. As for me, I’d rather have put on a pair of Leather Driving Gloves and arrive safely at my nudist colony weekend.

Drive safe, SkyMall Maniacs!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts