A priest, a rabbi, and… Kim Jong-il?

If you’re like me, you probably don’t associate North Korea with comedy. But after reading the jokes below, told by North Korean defectors to Radio Free Asia, well… you still won’t. The jokes, most of which lampoon Kim Jong-il and the North Korean police state, bring to mind a North Korean Yakov Smirnoff.

Here are a few of the North Korean knee-slappers (more here):

Chang Man Yong works on a collective farm in North Korea. He goes fishing, gets lucky, and brings a fish home. Happy about his catch, he tells his wife: “Look what I’ve got. Shall we eat fried fish today?”

The wife says: “We’ve got no cooking oil!”

“Shall we stew it, then?”

“We’ve got no pot!”

“Shall we grill it?”

“We’ve got no firewood!”

Chang Man Yong gets angry, goes back to the river, and throws the fish back into the water.

The fish, happy to have had such a narrow escape, sticks its head out of the water and cheerfully yells: “Long live General Kim Jong-il!”

Ba-dum ching!

Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are having a summit meeting in Moscow.

During a break, they’re bored, and they decide to take a bet to see whose bodyguards are more loyal.

Putin is on the 20th floor and calls on his bodyguard Ivan, opens the window, and says: “Ivan, jump!”

Sobbing, Ivan says: “Mr. President, how can you ask me to do that? I have a wife and child waiting for me at home”

Putin sheds a tear himself, apologises to Ivan, and sends him away.

Next, it’s Kim Jong Il’s turn. He calls his bodyguard Lee Myung Man and yells: “Lee Myung Man, jump!”

Not hesitating for a split second, Lee Myung Man is just about to jump out the window.

Putin grabs Lee Myung Man to prevent him from jumping and says: “Are you out of your mind? If you jump out this window, you’ll die! This is the 20th floor!”

Nevertheless, Lee Myung Man is still struggling, trying to escape Putin’s embrace and jump out the window: “Mr. Putin, please let me go! I have a wife and child at home!”

Alright, I’ll admit that wasn’t bad. And finally…

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a North Korean are having a chat. The Englishman says: “I feel happiest when I’m at home, my wool pants on, sitting in front of the fireplace.”

The Frenchman, a ladies’ man, says: “You English people are so conventional. I feel happiest when I go to a Mediterranean beach with a beautiful blonde-haired woman, and we do what we’ve got to do on the way back.”

The North Korean man says: “In the middle of the night, the secret police knock on the door, shouting: Kang Sung-Mee, you’re under arrest! And I say, Kang Sung-Mee doesn’t live here, but right next door! That’s when we’re happiest!”

Ha! I just love secret police jokes!