People have long hated going to the dentist. It’s no fun being chastised for your poor flossing habits, having your teeth drilled and drooling on yourself the rest of the day while the Novocaine wears off. That’s why people so often put off trips to the dentist. Add in people losing their health benefits because of the recession and proper oral care has fallen by the wayside. These poor habits are not without consequences. Gums recede. Your breath smells like the monkey house at the zoo. Finally, your teeth begin to fall out. Even more frightening than the dentist is the oral surgeon. Dental restoration is a long and painful process. The alternative, however, is wedging candy corn into your mouth and telling people that you got a deal on some gold teeth. Well, now there’s an affordable and trustworthy solution for those of you who have neglected your mouths. SkyMall, the people who brought us such useful health care products as the NECKpro Traction Device, Noseaid and the Night Sweat Alarm, comes the next big thing in the growing field of home dentistry. SkyMall Monday is excited to share SkyMall’s latest offering: Cosmetic Teeth.We’d all love the opportunity to have a movie star smile. However, cosmetic surgery is out of reach for most of us working stiffs. Thankfully, this DIY solution is perfect for people who love to do things with their own two hands. A great smile breeds confidence and can lead to job offers, requests for dates and the ability to chew solid foods. All the more reason to roll up your sleeves and shove your hands in your mouth for a little self improvement.
Think that dental procedures are best left to licensed professionals? Believe that you deserve more nitrous oxide? Well, while you tgo to your fancy shmancy dentist, everybody else will read the product description:
Stop worrying about what people will think of your teeth. Smile at pretty girls again…Once fitted (which can be done, by yourself, at home) they snap onto your upper teeth for a secure fit, yet remove easily at your discretion. Slip them on for job interviews, pictures, or whenever you need a boost of confidence. No adhesives are used, just your own natural bite.
No more wasting your time smiling at just the ugly girls! Rather than leaving your new teeth in your mouth all the time and running the risk of getting bored with them, you can slip them on only when you need that confidence boost while eating corn on the cob. And since your natural bite holds them in place, you’ll appear stoic and mysterious when you keep your mouth closed during conversations.
Shockingly, SkyMall does not permit returns if you are dissatisfied with this product, so make sure you really want these $40 fake teeth before ordering them from an in-flight catalog. Though I highly doubt that you’ll regret this purchase.
Take a bite out of your low self-esteem with these Cosmetic Teeth!
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.