Ten clear signs you’re in the wrong city for Christmas

Christmas trees - you're doing it wrong. Wrong city for ChristmasChristmastime is a special time for Christians, and also for non-Christians who don’t mind the excuse to decorate, eat, and exchange presents. One of the main chagrins of perpetual travelers is that they often find themselves in the wrong city for Christmas. Being away from family is one thing, but sometimes, December 25 can roll by without feeling like a “real Christmas” at all. I feel weird even celebrating sans snow.

I understand that not all Gadling readers observe the Christmas holiday, but I do, and this is for those of you who do, too — and who knows? Maybe even some people who don’t celebrate Christmas can appreciate this article in the spirit in which it was intended: lightheartedly. Here are 10 clear signs you’re in the wrong city for Christmas.

You know you’re in the wrong city for Christmas when…

  1. The only smell of pine is coming from the cardboard “freshening” apparatus dangling from your cab driver’s rear-view mirror.
  2. When someone says “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” to you, you feel insecure about not blending in well enough.
  3. You at any point attempt to decorate a palm tree.
  4. None of the shopkeepers seem to understand your impulse to “decorate” a cookie (and they certainly don’t know where you can get some of those delicious non-edible silver dragees).
  5. The only Christmas tree you can procure is below waist-high.
  6. Friends brutally mock you for having believed in Santa Claus ever, like, even if it was over 30 years ago.
  7. You at any point attempt to hang ornaments on something that isn’t a tree (or the friend who mocked you).
  8. You can look around and feel certain that not one person in your vicinity knows the trials and tribulations of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
  9. You forgo inviting friends over for a few days because you don’t know how they’ll react to the oversized socks hanging from your fireplace.
  10. Every time you think you see a nativity scene, it turns out to just be a manger with people around it.

Got more ideas? Put ‘em in the comments below, we want to hear!

[Photo by avlxyz via Flickr.]