Generally, it’s best to avoid an airline lavatory for any reason. It’s cramped, smelly and generally not a pleasant place to be. If you’re planning to use the lav for something other than its stated purpose, you’re going to need to brace yourself. Unfortunately, it really is the best environment on the plane for joining the mile-high club (for those of you not in the know, that means having sex on a plane).
You could always try to do it in your seat, but you’ll need a fairly empty flight. Also, your options will be limited, even compared to the lav.
Fortunately, there appears to be a better way. If you want to join this unique, exclusive club without risking an angry speech from a safety-focused flight attendant, take a look at the options below. You can attain your newest “status” at a fairly reasonable price in some cases – and have a memory to savor.1. Mile High Atlanta: if you’re not in Atlanta, it’s pretty easy to get there. After all, it is home to the busiest airport in the country. So, catch a flight to this city, and trade your airline seat for a jaunt with Mile High Atlanta. It costs only $379 per couple for an hour-long flight in a Piper Cherokee Six … “designed exclusively for this purpose. And yes, there is a bed.
Good to know: “Our pilot is VERY discreet and all flights are handled with the UTMOST confidentiality.”
2. Exstacy Air: Based in St. Clair County, Michigan, this service will bring you up above the clouds so you can have your moment of bliss. For $375, you and your cohort – unless you’re logging solo hours – will get an hour in the sky, a bottle of champagne and a set of mile-high wings (that you’ll doubtless earn).
Unique feature: You can keep your sheets as a souvenir!
3. Chicago Mile High Club: this service offers “you and your loved one the exclusive use of our 20 passenger airliner so that you can become mile-high club members, with all of the safety and privacy that comes with having a large twin-engine turboprop airliner all to yourselves.” But, this sort of service is pricey: $999 an hour, and you have to make reservations at least a week in advance.
Selling point: The cabin is more than 20 feet long, six feet wide and 5 ½ feet tall. Break out your copy of the Kama Sutra!
4. Mile High Flights: earn your international wings with this UK service, which includes champagne, “stunning views” and whatever other fun you can concoct! Several options are available, with products named “The Big One (£640) and “The VIP” (£930).
Mortgage your orgasm: Flexible payment options are available for those who don’t want to wind up spent right away.
5. The ol’ fashioned way: look both ways, and move casually toward the lavatory, preferably while the flight attendants are working the beverage cart. Step out with your hair askew and a fantastically broad smile on your face.
Multiple benefits: No, not that kind – I’m referring to the fact that this flight will also take you to your destination, rather than cart you around on a “sightseeing” experience. You may also pick up some frequent flier miles.
[photo by rick via Flickr]