SkyMall Monday: Helpy Carry-on Harness

skymall monday helpy carry-on harnessAirports are chaotic and tiring places. Between checking in, dealing with security, finding your gate, overpaying for bad food after waiting on long lines and then trying to board your flight before all of the overhead bins on the plane are taken, air travel is exhausting. Making things even more taxing is your luggage. Sure, rolling luggage releases you from the burden of carrying your belongings, but you still have to pull your bags. That means that at least one of your hands is occupied by something other than your smartphone, a cup of coffee or a cinnamon bun the size of Utah. It just seems to me that, if we have to deal with the horrors of the airport, we should at least be able to entertain ourselves with both of our hands. Here at SkyMall Monday headquarters, we have our dogs do all the heavy lifting. Since they can’t pass through airport security due of their knife collections, we’ve had to find other ways to free our hands for fun airport activities such as reading books, tweeting and pointing at which Sbarro meals we think are most likely to give us explosive diarrhea (Hint: All of them). Thankfully, SkyMall has managed to eliminate the need to use our hands to pull our luggage, thus freeing us to immerse ourselves in activities that help alleviate the stress of being at the airport. They’ve done it with the Helpy Carry-on Harness.Man has relied on everything from donkeys to horses to oxen to pull things, but if you want a job done right, you need to do it yourself. Now, thanks to the Helpy Carry-on Harness, you can simply tow your luggage around as if you were a truck pulling a trailer. You have to walk anyway (sadly, the entire airport isn’t made of people movers), so you might as well let your legs and torso pull your luggage. That leaves your hands free for everything from high fiving the ticket agent for upgrading you to helping up the poor person you clipped with your suitcase because you can’t see what the hell is happening behind you.

Think that the only safe and secure way to pull your rolling luggage is with your hands? Believe that wearing a harness will only lead to embarrassing back sweat? Well, while you deal with repetitive stress injuries in your fingers, why not have your home health aid read you the product description:

The Helpy is a comfortably fitting shoulder harness that allows you to conveniently pull your wheeled luggage behind you, leaving both your hands free to dial a number, check emails, hold your child’s hand, push a stroller and multitask on the go.

Finally, you can push your child’s stroller and check your email all while pulling your luggage and not paying attention to where you’re walking. Airports are fun again!

So, rather than pulling your luggage through the chaos of the airport, why not do a crossword puzzle and drink an extra large coffee while you walk to Gate 148Q with your bag strapped to your back? Take the bull by the horns and be your own pack mule.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.