Five ways to join the mile-high club: it’s not all in the lav!

mile-high clubLet’s face it: airline lavatories are not the sexiest places. They are small, cramped and smelly – like the rest of the plane, strangely. They are unpleasant places, but they do afford the only privacy you’re going to find. So, it’s a usual favorite for daring couples looking to join the prestigious “mile-high club.” Yes, that club. For those of you not in the know, mile-high club membership entails having sex on a plane.

It’s difficult to join, and the recession has made it harder. Sure, you can get cheaper tickets, which effectively lowers the price of mile-high club admission. However, airlines cut routes over the past two years in an effort to increase revenue per available seat-mile. This means that planes are more crowded, constraining your mile-high club options. More people on the plane translates to an increased likelihood of getting caught. For some, that prevents membership (because the risk of an unusually aware passenger can impede the urge to join), while others may see it as a challenge.

Don’t care about the prospect of being sent back to your seat, but want options aside from the lav? Your choices are listed below:

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1. In-seat romance: how bold are you? Would you have sex in your seat (if you had three for you and your “friend”)? Oral only? This can be done, but I assure you, it isn’t for the shy. You won’t necessarily get caught, but the risk is incredibly high. Just know what you’re getting into.

2. Galley: this can be great for a little pre-lav action, especially if the beverage service is taking place when you dashed back. Get you and your partner in crime out of the line of sight, and stay on the lookout for any passengers interested I hitting the bathroom. I wouldn’t plan to “conclude” in the galley, but it will definitely get your heart pounding before you step behind a closed door.

3. Pay to play: there are services that provide you with a flight specifically to support mile-high club membership (there’s a list here). For a fairly digestible fee, you can get freaky high in the sky … and possibly take home something to remind you of the excursion.

4. Really pay to play: corporate and private jets … that’s the place to do it. You can get to be in charge in more ways than one, and it’s gotta be a total turn-on.

5. Boarding: this is still in-seat, but the dynamic is much different. Do not attempt this unless your flight is relatively empty. Get a seat toward the back of the plane, and STAY ALERT AT ALL TIMES.

[photo by kyz via Flickr]