Ten cruise comments you would rather not hear, ever

ten cruise comments Cruise ship operations often get a lot of criticism for having too many announcements over the ship’s loudspeaker system. Some are essential for safety and just general organization of the many passengers on board. Others are not so essential and often aimed at just selling something. Some lines have more than others, some leave phone messages, others attempt to make announcements in crowded deck areas which are hard to hear.

It’s all part of the experience but some comments you would just rather not hear at all. Here are ten of them:

  1. “Hello, this is ship security. I have your son here and…” No matter what comes next, it can’t be good.
  2. “If your luggage has not yet been delivered to your stateroom, please report to…” (They found your smuggled booze)
  3. “HANG ON!” You are on Brilliance of the Seas and another “unexpected storm” will be encountered shortly.
  4. “Fire!” This means you will be having Spam for the next few days, delivered by aircraft carrier.
  5. “Is that your luggage floating in the ocean?” You should have tipped the porters.
  6. “Motion discomfort bags have been places about the ship for your convenience” (rough seas ahead. Get ready to say hello to that lobster you had for dinner again)
  7. “Oh look honey! There is a big sale at in the ship’s jewelry store! Let’s Go! Your husband won way more money in the casino than he said he did.
  8. “Oh look honey, the Golf Pro is giving lessons today!” She’s trying to get rid of you.
  9. “This is not a drill” Unless you are in a dentist chair and your dentist is Homer Simpson, you’re probably going for a swim. In the ocean. Without Rose or the diamond.
  10. “Customs is on board!” Actually this is one that strikes terror into the hearts of Royal Caribbean crew members/drug dealers. You may be short a waiter at dinner tonight.

Flickr photo by RAYANDBEE