SkyMall Monday: Hangin’ Around Henrietta

gadling skymall hangin' around henrietta hangingWe all get lonely sometimes. Maybe you’re an only child with no one to invite to your tea party. Perhaps you’re an elderly widow who’s no longer able to attend the bridge games that used to fill your days. Or you could just be a serial killer biding your time in your seemingly innocuous suburban home, waiting for just the right moment when you show the world that you’re worth everyone’s attention. Whatever the reason for your loneliness, your suffering is felt by everyone here at SkyMall Monday headquarters. Thankfully, your misery ends today. Open your windows, let some light and fresh air in and put on your best spring outfit, because you’re about to entertain a new friend. SkyMall heard your cries (and read your tear-stained diary) and found the perfect companion to make you feel special. Get ready to to welcome your new best friend because it’s time to meet Hangin’ Around Henrietta.Making new friends can be challenging. You have to let your guard down, open yourself up and listen to other people talk on and on about themselves. How tedious! With Hangin’ Around Henrietta, you can do all the talking. Henrietta won’t judge you, like the other children. And, since Henrietta isn’t technically a real child, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with a middle-aged man admiring her through his bathroom window.

Think that hanging a fake child from a tree is creepy? Believe that fake children shouldn’t be displayed upside down? Well, while you see if any sexual predators live in your neighborhood, we’ll be reading the product description:

Any time is playtime as Henrietta celebrates summer days and simpler times from her lofty perch (easily secured to tree branch or ceiling with an authentic rope). The artist sets breezy fun in motion by casting her enchanting, nearly life-size sculpture in quality designer resin and hand-painting it, one piece at a time, complete with lacy pink socks and pigtails.

While your new friend may not be real, its comforting to know that the rope is authentic. When it comes to rope, accept no imitations.

Your lonely days are over thanks to Henrietta. She’s adorable, precocious and won’t fight back here to brighten your day. She’s the prefect friend for anyone (except for adult men, adult women, well-adjusted children, people whose neighbors can see into their yards and anyone who wants to keep themselves off or is already on a law enforcement watch list).

What are you waiting for? Hang that fake girl from your tree today!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.