Once SkyMall Monday headquarters became a den of premarital cohabitation, I was forced to learn the fine art of leaving the toilet seat down. It seems that women urinate while seated and, should the seat be up when they attempt to sit, they can fall into the bowl. As refreshingly hilarious as that sounds, it turns out that they find getting their buttocks stuck in the toilet to be humiliating and infuriating. Why, however, should men be forced to deal with the burden of lowering the toilet seat upon completion of their standing bladder evacuation? It seems to me that women need to take responsibility for their own needs and be in charge of lowering the seat when they need it. What happened to women’s lib? Thankfully, SkyMall is here to eliminate the issue altogether, thus bringing domestic peace amongst the sexes. It is no longer the man’s responsibility to lower the seat or the woman’s job to nag the man. From now on, the toilet will do all of the work thanks to the Touchless Sensor Toilet Seats.Who wants to touch dirty toilet seats? Plus, the constant raising and lowering of toilet seats puts unwanted stress on our wrists and elbows leading to a condition called Pisser’s Arm. No one wants to miss out on their bowling league because of a bathroom-related injury.
Think that lifting the toilet seat takes one second? Believe that this cliché argument between men and women is easily solved with a simple conversation and a little bit of compromise? Well, while you argue over whether the toilet paper roll should be hung overhand or underhand (the answer is overhand), we’ll be reading the product description:
Some men have a hard time remembering to put the toilet seat down after use.
Now the Touchless Sensor Toilet Seat is good news for your household. It raises the lid automatically as you approach the toilet.
Wave a hand over it one more time and the seat rises.
Then both the lid and seat close automatically 15 seconds after you step away. The unit is easy to install and because it’s touchless, it helps prevent germs and bacteria from spreading.
Clearly, waving your hand over the toilet like a wizard takes less time than lifting the seat manually. And, since you never clean your bathroom, it’s for the best that you never touch anything in there.
The product is made by the same company that solved the problem of always having to rip off a sheet of paper towel with our own bare hands, so it’s about time that they receive a Nobel Peace Prize for the domestic bliss that they have brought us.
If you’re curious about how this all works, check out the video below, which is the least erotic demonstration involving a toilet that I have ever seen.
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.