SkyMall Monday: Zenhaus Dog Crate

gadling skymall monday zenhaus dog crateLiving with a dog means giving up much of your domestic life to an animal that doesn’t know how to share space. You live with fur everywhere. Water and food bowls take up part of the kitchen floor. Toys are scattered everywhere. It’s difficult to create a sophisticated living space when there are drool stains on most of the furniture. We run into these problems at SkyMall Monday headquarters thanks to our freeloading tenants. This doesn’t even take into account the space issues. Once you set out some dog beds and set up their crates, you’re dedicating a tremendous amount of real estate to animals that lick their own penises. So how do you maximize space, live in style and also make your home comfortable for your dogs? You simply sit back, relax and let SkyMall solve all of your problems with the Zenhaus Dog Crate…that’s also a coffee table!Crates take up huge swaths of space and ostracize your dogs. By combining your dog’s crate with your coffee table, you use your space efficiently and make your dog a decorative centerpiece while you’re entertaining. Your guests will marvel at your seven-layer dip and how your dog runs around in circles inside your coffee table because he so desperately wants said dip that he can smell just inches above him.

Think that dog crates and coffee tables should be two separate pieces of furniture? Believe that it’s torturous to keep your dog in your coffee table while you serve appetizers to friends? Well, while you keep your dog away from the pigs in a blanket, we’ll be reading the product description:

This furniture collection appeals to dogs’ natural instincts to have their own, cozy sanctuary (like their ancestors’ caves) and the pet owner’s desire for luxury home furnishings.

I think they’re discounting man’s urge to have luxury home furnishing by simply calling it a “desire.” It, too, is a natural instinct. Even when our ancestors lived in caves, they always tried to optimize the feng shui by clubbing their mates and laying then in the southeast corner of their dwellings.

Dog ownership presents many challenges but interior design doesn’t need to be one of them. Keep your dog confined and drinks close by all in one by putting your pet inside your coffee table. It’s simply the natural evolution of both beast and man.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.


How To Crate Your Dog For Travel, from Cesar Millan