SkyMall Monday: Velvet Rasta Hat

gadling velvet rasta hatA person’s choice of religion is a serious matter. For many, there is no choice in the matter. They are born into a faith and their spiritual path through life is already mapped out. For others, the search for answers is a quest that lasts a lifetime. Here at “SkyMall Monday” headquarters, we keep things pretty secular, pausing only occasionally to seek answers from the all-knowing one. For those who struggle to find salvation, the journey to inner peace can take them to many destinations. Trying out different religions can be a challenge when many religious practices are meant to take years. One cannot simply grow a beard in a matter of days or learn an entire book of scripture in an afternoon. For those looking for a shortcut, however, the only holy book needed is SkyMall and the only purchase necessary is the Velvet Rasta Hat.Dreadlocks are important to those who follow the Rastafari movement. Proper dreads are grown and maintained over years. If you’re simply dabbling in the faith, however, surely it must be OK to cheat a bit. There’s no such thing as a 5 o’clock dread-shadow, so another solution must be found.

Think that wearing a faux-Rastafari hat is insensitive? Believe that both the hat and the hairstyle have deeper symbolic meanings that should not be mocked? Well, while you don your Flair Hair Visor, we’ll be reading the product description:

Nearly a foot and a half of gorgeous dreads, with a jaunty hat perched on top.

All of the cool, none of the commitment. Perfect for parties or just keeping warm.

Ah, yes, the red, green and gold hat is simply jaunty (and also, you know, representative of the Ethiopian flag and the loyalty that Rastafarian’s feel towards King Selassie). Of course, everyone knows that dreadlocks are worn for warmth, as Jamaican nights can get pretty brisk. But who needs that commitment?

The path to enlightenment is meandering, littered with potholes and fraught with mixed metaphors. It’s an arduous journey that can be mitigated by spending $9.95 plus tax and shipping and handling. Please allow four-to-six weeks for velvet salvation to arrive.

Check out all of the previous “SkyMall Monday” posts HERE.