Galley Gossip: Boeing Boeing grounded

January 4, 2009 was a very sad day on Broadway in New York City. While it is said that all good things must come to an end, does that really have to include the critically acclaimed Broadway show, Boeing Boeing? I mean this was one trip I didn’t want to end. Ever! But when the doors finally closed and the lights went to black, I was there (along with a full house) to say Buh-bye to an era of glamour and excitement so many people love to recall.

In the comedy, which is based on the movie of the same name (staring Tony Curtis and Jerry Lewis), an American architect living in Paris is juggling three flight attendants – I mean air hostesses – all of whom are his fiancee. How can one man juggle three different women? Easy. You make sure each woman is a stewardess from a different airline – Lufthansa, Alitalia, and TWA. Then you consult a timetable as if it were a bible, marking down each woman’s scheduled layover. Of course to make it run smoothly you must employ an overworked and disgruntled housekeeper who acts more like an air traffic controller. But when an old school chum comes into town things are turned upside down. As most of you know, schedules change and flights get delayed, resulting in turbulent chaos. That’s where the fun began.

While the simple set never changed, the talented cast took the audience on a fun filled ride. In fact, it was so much fun that I was barely conscious of the guy rustling a paper bag full of who knows what in my ear, or that my knees were practically under my chin, and that I could barely move my feet because the seating was so tight – much like a cramped middle seat in coach. Not to mention I purchased the cheap tickets that put me near the ceiling of the intimate, but ornate, Longacre theater, a beautiful theater that was built in 1913.

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The talented cast gave an excellent performance. I wonder if they could imagine the impact they had on the audience that night, the night they took their very last bow. As I looked around at all the people standing and clapping enthusiastically, I couldn’t help but wonder how many actually had a connection to a particular airline. Or were they aviation enthusiasts? Or were they just there to see a good show? Probably all of the above. And like that the show was over, the lights went to bright, and we all slowly filed out of the building, Playbill in hand, and onto the cold dark streets of New York.

“Boeing Boeing is done? Over? NOOOO! ” wrote our own Gadling writer, and pilot, Kent Wien when I mentioned I had seen the very last show. “I didn’t get a chance to see it! Is it going to pop up anywhere else?”

Pop up again, it will. Boeing Boeing will be back, touring in the fall of 2009.

Alitalia may start canceling flights — can’t afford fuel

Alitalia has been going through a bit of a rough patch of late. Even before the fuel crisis this past summer, Italy’s national airline was already struggling with poor service, unhappy unions and terrible management. Now, with costs going through the roof the airline is in some serious financial trouble.

Through the course of the summer, Alitalia has been looking for ways out of it’s tangle. For a while, we thought that Air France and KLM, the French and Dutch Skyteam partners, were going to usurp their counterparts, until unions and politicians weighed in on the deal and the buyers decided to back out.

Since then, the Italian government has been arguing about a few different options including a government takeover, but none have really matured to the point of stability.

Which brings us to Monday morning, which, after months of squabbling and mismanagement, has led to the airline still without strong leadership, with angry unions and with not enough fuel to fill its airplanes. According to the BBC, unless the airline comes up with some some significant cash or a strategy today, they “cannot guarantee” flights into the week.

As of this morning the airline is still in talks to be taken over by a Italian consortium of companies (including Benetton?) and merge with AirOne with plans to cut over 3,000 jobs, but nothing has been finalized. Keep an eye on your Alitalia flight if you’ve got one booked in the next week. It could be a rough week.

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Alitalia deal dumped by Air France-KLM

For a while there, it almost looked like Air FranceKLM was actually going to buy Alitalia and dig them out of their ongoing financial problems. Alitalia has been losing $1.6 million a day for more than a year. Grant wrote about the KLM-Alitalia deal just a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, Air France-KLM ended their negotiations with Aitalia after Alitalia’s unions balked, The Wall Street Journal reports. As a result, the Italian airline’s chairman resigned.

You could just see how this whole thing unfolded in Italy. Silvio Berlusconi, currently campaigning to become Italy’s eccentric prime minister again, thought that KLM was just not offering enough for the national pride that Alitalia is. Looking at it through KLM’s eyes, they could care less about national pride; they wanted a good investment.

Well, if Berlusconi does get reelected, one of the first things he might have to do is place Alitalia under a government-appointed organization. Air Silvio, anyone?

Alitalia flight diverts because of toxic fumes; finds minced onions

Alitalia has fallen on hard times lately. Business is down, morale is low and last week, Italy’s government had to approve a takeover bid by Air France & KLM to help bail out their ailing national airline.

I put forth a few possible causes for their demise in an article last week, but perhaps I was being too generous. Perhaps, rather, it’s because they’re idiots.

Case in point: earlier last week, an Alitalia cargo flight en route from Milan to Miami suddenly diverted to Boston‘s Logan airport. The crew, completely outfitted in oxygen masks and reporting “toxic fumes,” safely landed and turned the aircraft over safety inspectors in haz-mat mode, expecting the worst.

Indeed, cargo manifests indicated several toxic chemicals were on board. But upon closer inspection, investigators found that all of those were packaged properly and safely. The real source of the noxious fumes? Onions. Ten thousand pounds of minced onions.

It took three days to sort out the ruckus, fill out the paperwork and get the aircraft back on its way.

As for the onions, they were placed on a “No Fly List” then put on trucks bound for Florida.

What strange things have been found on planes?


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Air France and KLM conglomerate to usurp Alitalia

It appears as if the days of Alitalia are almost over.

Long steeped with financial trouble, Italy’s national airline has slowly been edging down the slippery slope towards bankruptcy. One could blame the quality of their aircraft or the repeated tardiness of their flights or condition of their hub airport, Rome‘s Fiumicino for their slow spiral downward, but the fact of the matter is, they were just a poorly done airline. Most of the time when I fly on a foreign carrier I’m generally pleased by its quality over my domestic carriers — little things that make the airline “European” or pleasant. But on my last flight between Rome and Paris last month I was unimpressed. The equipment was outdated, the service mediocre and the aircraft late.

Perhaps Italians, as well, have lost faith in their maternal airline. As of St. Patrick’s Day, the nation’s government approved their acquisition by Air France/KLM at a paltry 1:160 share ratio, or for about 15¢ a share. It was a desperate, terminal move to save the airline, but may ultimately guarantee their future.

The question that now remains is whether Alitalia will keep its branding and employees or be completely swallowed by Air France. If the acquisition is simple, many travelers may never know the difference between the old and new airline. But if the French decide to refurbish the entire company, there may be some hiccups in service.

Alitalia seeks approval from the new incoming government and the unions before finalizing the deal — expect that to happen in the next few weeks and more news to surface then.