Airline passenger stupidity ends with indictment, not bang

Would you like to be featured on Gadling? It’s not as hard as you think. It just takes a little bit of planning … with a healthy dose of stupidity. In fact, you can get your 15 minutes of fame the way Derek Stansberry did. Here are four steps to take to turn your bad decision into one that everyone will judge you for.

  1. Book a trans-Atlantic flight, maybe to Paris
  2. Slip a note to a flight attendant explaining that you have a fake passport
  3. For good measure, let federal air marshals know that you have brought dynamite with you
  4. Wait for the federal grand jury to indict you

It worked for Stansberry. The Riverview, Florida, resident took care of steps 2 and 3 on April 27, 2010. Now that he’s been indicted (step 4) on charges of interfering with flight crew members and giving false information and making threats, he’s scheduled to be arraigned on July 28, 2010 in Bangor, Maine. Why Bangor? That’s where the Atlanta-to-Paris flight was forced to land as a result of Stansberry’s shenanigans.

Currently, the 27-year-old is free on $20,000 bail … and he’s famous for the moment.

[photo by Aaron & Alli via Flickr]

Flight crew tasty, but off-limits

Man bites dog? Well, woman bites fight attendant (or tries to, at least).

A Russian-born British woman will be spending the weekend in a Maine jail this weekend. She’s accused of having popped some prescription drugs and washed them down with a few bottles of wine and – you can’t make this stuff up – liquid soap from the plane’s lavatory.

Amazingly, she had the energy to rumble with flight attendants after pouring this unique cocktail down her throat. She punched and kicked the FAs before snapping at them “like a dog.” According to an Associated Press report, she tried to bite one of them.

The London-bound flight was diverted to Bangor, thanks to her antics.

So, what brings a flight attendant-hungry passenger to the United States? Internet dating. Apparently, Galina Rusanova went to Los Angeles to see in person a man she met via the web. Her adventure will come to something of a conclusion on Monday, when she’s scheduled to appear in U.S. District Court to face charges of assault and interference with a flight crew.

Hey, here’s a tip: don’t drink the soap!