The world’s most bizzare spa treatments

I’m not not usually a spa kind of girl. I like the occasional de-stressing massage, pore-clearing facial or special occasion mani-pedi, but mud baths, seaweed wraps, and caviar scrubs just aren’t for me. Neither are some of the bizarre and ridiculous spa treatments Forbes Traveler has rounded up from across the globe.

A few actually don’t sound that unusual. A wine and honey wrap is supposed to help you sweat out toxins, a goat yogurt facial will help clear your skin, and the cactus puree used in a massage will help reduce the appearance of cellulite. But a few others sound so off-the-wall you have to wonder who would be foolish enough to try them out.

A “cedar enzyme bath” may be a clever name, but really all you’re doing is sitting in a big tub full of sawdust. Why not save yourself a hundred bucks and head down to the gristmill? And, seriously – heated golf-ball massage? I highly doubt there are any magical healing properties contained in a set of microwaved balls.

Treatments involving animals seem equally wrong. I have a fish phobia so I wouldn’t climb into a pool and let hundreds of tiny fish nibble the dead skin off my toes. And can someone please explain to me exactly what the benefits of a “snake massage” are?

And then, for the most absurd of First World problems, there are holistic treatments. Feeling out of whack with the lunar cycle? Try a lunar treatment, which promises to help your body align with the moon. “Virtual dolphin therapy” is equally suspect. As clients watch images of dolphins on tv and listen to sonar sounds in their headphones, hey can hold a sound wave pillow for internal healing.

As the article points out “Now, though it’s considered a luxury in Japan, spreading dehydrated nightingale droppings on your cheeks doesn’t exactly scream ‘beneficial’, but geishas have been looking up at the skies for centuries, and spa owners have taken note.” Wait….so geishas have been looking up at the skies and …what…getting pooped on? No, I think I’ll skip that particular treatment, thank you very much.

I’ve no doubt that certain natural elements can help alleviate pain, relieve stress and improve skin, but that doesn’t mean that all such products should be incorporated into spa treatments. A little common sense should be used when drawing the line between beneficial and, well, birdshit.

Pilot nightmare: Passenger flings open door and jumps out

Here is a scene that I think would take one of the top spots of a pilot’s worst nightmare.

Right when you’re flying 23,000 above one of the coldest places above Canada this time of year, one of your two passengers, the one who has been freaking out, totally loses his marbles, flings open the door and jumps out.

That’s what happened a couple days ago to two pilots who were taking two passengers from Yellowknife to Cambridge Bay in a Beechcraft King Air 200 twin-turboprop.

The one passenger became “unruly” and couldn’t be stopped from forcing open the door and jumping out. That was a horrifying scene, I’m sure.

Then, as if that wasn’t enough, to make things more dicey, there was that open door that wouldn’t cooperate and close again. That meant that the pilot had to make an emergency landing with the door open.

Talk about a wind tunnel. Heavens!

The 20 year-old who jumped is still being searched for and the pilot is too shaken up to talk. Understandably so. [via AP in Newsday.com]