Minnie Mouse molester convicted

John William Moyer, a 60-year-old visitor to Walt Disney World probably won’t be welcome at the theme park any longer. The Cressona, Pennsylvania resident was convicted of feeling up Minnie Mouse (yes, there are people inside those suits). Moyer claimed he was innocent, and his son vouched for him, saying that his father would never touch a woman inappropriately.

Meanwhile, the victim reveals, according to an Associated Press report, that “she had to do everything possible to keep Moyer’s hands off her breasts.”

Moyer was nailed for misdemeanor battery. His punishment includes 180 days probation, 50 hours of community service and to write an apology to the victim. He’s also on the hook for $1,000 in court costs and may have to submit to a mental evaluation.

Apparently, nobody told Moyer that he could ogle all the boobs he wants over at Splash Mountain, where the ladies can’t seem (to be bothered to) keep their shirts on.