Darwin Awards Contenders Foiled By Observant Cafe Customer


Four men who could have become strong candidates for this year’s Darwin Awards have been saved by a Good Samaritan who was enjoying some coffee nearby.

The BBC reports that a customer at a cafe in Oxwich Bay, Wales, spotted four men in a dinghy clutching onto a buoy and desperately trying to get the attention of those on shore.

It’s unclear if the men were consciously trying to win the Darwin Awards, given out every year for people who get killed in stupid ways and thus improve the gene pool of our species. Nevertheless, they proved their candidacy by setting out in an inflatable dinghy into worsening weather with no life jackets and no flares. Winds had reached up to force six on the Beaufort Scale by the time they were saved. Force six is just short of a gale, with waves rising up to 13 feet.

The person who spotted them alerted the coast guard, who sent out a lifeboat to save them. If it wasn’t for this observant coffee lover, these wannabe sailors may have replicated the famous “Raft of the Medusa,” being adrift at sea for weeks, slowly expiring from hunger and thirst until desperation led them to gnaw on one another to survive. It would have given a whole new meaning to the term “Welsh rarebit.”

If you must try an alternative diet, try vegetarianism instead. It’s far more benign. Also familiarize yourself with weather conditions before setting out and practice these sea safety guidelines. Now that spring is here and everyone wants to get out in the water, it’s important to know how to play safe.

[Image courtesy Wikimedia Commons]

Bigfoot Hoax Results In Fatality

Despite the fact that Bigfoot is a well-known pseudo-inhabitant of the Pacific Northwest, a Montana man died Sunday night attempting to create a hoax in Flathead County.

According to CNN, the incident occurred in Northwest Montana when Randy Lee Tenley, attired in a Ghillie suit, walked into “the driving lane” of Highway 93, and was hit by a teenage motorist. A second car managed to miss Tenley, but a third automobile ran over his body.

Tenley’s companions confirm he was “attempting to incite a sighting of Bigfoot – to make people think they had seen a Sasquatch,” said state trooper Jim Schneider. No news on whether or not Tenley was also trying to win a Darwin Award.

Drunk Australian rides crocodile and lives to tell the tale

There must be a patron saint of idiots, because it’s a miracle this guy is still alive.

Michael Williams, 36, got so plastered in a pub in Broome, Western Australia, the night before last that the barman kicked him out. Not having anything else to do, he broke into Broome Crocodile Park to visit Fatso, an 18 ft. saltwater crocodile. Williams climbed the fence and tried to ride the crocodile by sitting on its back. Fatso took exception to this and bit off a chunk of the guy’s leg.

Amazingly, the crocodile let him go. Park owner malcolm Douglas, a documentary filmmaker and crocodile hunter, says that recent cold nights had made Fatso sluggish, otherwise Williams would have become a midnight snack. Williams was able to get back over the fence and go back to the pub. Instead of kicking him out again, at which point he would have probably gone off and done something equally stupid, pub owners called emergency services. He’s now recovering in the hospital.

So the lesson for today is–booze and crocs don’t mix!


Photo courtesy Tourism NT.

Is that damn pizza done yet?

When I was researching New Zealand’s Hermitage hotel a few weeks back for Lonely Planet, I had no idea of the weird no-brain stuff happening behind its flash doors. Maybe it was the altitude and mountain air – the Hermitage is right beside Mt Cook, New Zealand’s highest peak – but a recent guest had a bit of culinary trouble in her room.

Hotel staff were called when an American guest in her mid 40s complained she couldn’t get her frozen ham and pineapple pizza out of the microwave. Turns out she’d jammed the doughy treat in the lockable room safe, hit a few random numbers she thought stood for 3 minutes on high, and waited for her meaty, cheesy snack to emerge.

Is the appropriate response laughter or sympathy in such a case?

Scary.

Thanks to feeb on Flickr for the pic of a pop tart retrieval process.