Ah, Labor Day. It’s a day to honor the hard work of the people who make America strong and stuff the last few hot dogs of summer down our gullets. After months spent baking in the sun and indulging in fried items on sticks at state fairs, our skin is tight and our bodies are full of cheese. To properly cleanse ourselves, we could spend a fortune on a fancy spa treatment, but that’s just a waste of money. Spas are covered in fungus and require awkward nudity with strangers. Why should we have to leave SkyMall Monday headquarters (or, in your case, whatever you call your headquarters) just to sweat out three months worth of fried dough and turkey legs? Thankfully, now we can heal our bodies and maintain peace of mind in the comfort of our own homes thanks to SkyMall. All we need to do is drop $500 on the Personal Infrared Sauna.Why crowd into a three-person sauna or experiment sapphically in a two-person sauna when you can take care of yourself by yourself? With your head outside of the hot box, you’re free to watch television, make phone calls or try on hats while your body benefits from your own personal heat wave.
Think that saunas should be supervised by professionals? Believe that only illusionists should lock themselves in wooden boxes? Well, while you turn your thermostat up as high as it goes, we’ll be reading the product description:
Equipped with a main control panel and a separate on/off switch, the Hide-Away Sauna takes only 10 minutes to heat up and has an adjustable temperature setting from 68 – 107 degrees F. Boost your immune system from the comfort of your own home.
Finally, your very own box that replicates the daytime high and nighttime low of Phoenix in May. Sadly, it does not come with fajitas.
So, enjoy your Labor Day barbecue and indulge one last time before the temperatures drop. And, when they do, you can keep things hot on your Personal Infrared Sauna.
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.