Qantas mile-high club: what happens when you get caught

A woman got nailed in the early stages of seeking mile-high club membership. The Qantas passenger was flying form Melbourne to Los Angeles at the beginning of last month. The lights went low, and she and the man next to her let their hands go wild under the blanket. The cabin crew caught on and split up the passengers, who apparently never bothered to try the lav.

The best part: the woman works for Qantas. And, she still does. A spokesman said, “The employee has returned to work.”

Now, be honest: don’t you want the cubicle next to hers?

[photo via Simon_sees via Flickr]

Ten steps to turn the passenger next to you into a fling (or more)

Want to get lucky on your next flight? The odds of initiating a perfect stranger into the mile-high club are pretty slim, even if you do know all the right things to say. Of course, you could have a conversation, make a connection and want to make it real on the ground. So, how can that happen? Plugging in and tuning out aren’t going to help you much. Instead, you have to roll the dice and be social, risking a long talk with a total dud. It’s still worth a shot: even a long flight is finite.

So, let’s look at 10 ways you can pursue love or lust in the friendliest of skies:

1. Stop working: focus on your career while you’re in your seat, and that’s all you’ll find waiting for you on the ground. Close your laptop. Put down those reports. Clear the tray table in front of you. Crack a smile.

2. Buy a drink: it works in a bar, right? Spring for a glass of wine or a mini-bottle of vodka. In addition to being nice, you’ll also have a great way to start a conversation, especially if the flight attendant does something nutty.

3. Start listening: and to something other than your iPod. A winning conversation starts with your ears (and this is the only way you’ll find out if your seatmate is your kind of crazy).

4. Do a little talking:
everyone loves a great listener, but you have to put some skin in the game to (especially if that’s ultimately your goal … so to speak). Chat up your neighbor, and be both honest and realistic. For a long-term connection, this is a must; for a quick jaunt to the back of the plane, it’ll take more than some quick talking.5. Make plans: whether you’re looking for a 30,000 foot liaison or something more enduring, make plans. It’s great to take what happens on a plane into the real world, so trade business cards and personal cell phone numbers. If all you want to do is make it back to the lav, plan that mad dash shortly after the beverage service starts.

6. Take advantage of open seating: for flights on the Delta Shuttle and Southwest, for example, board in the middle of the pack (great advice from USA Today). You’ll get a good idea of your choices and will still have plenty of seats available. Just don’t do this on easyJet. You’ll never hear the end of meeting someone on easyJet.

7. Use business cards: you don’t need cards to swap information, but it is a lot easier. Jotting digits down on a napkin is risky, and handwriting becomes an issue. Don’t leave anything to chance!

8. Leave the airport together:
if you’re going the same way as your new buddy, extend you trip a little. Offer to a share a cab or town car (or whatever ground transportation you choose). You’ll put a bit more time on your side.

9. Set it up: never leave sales call without scheduling your next one. Before you part ways, try to line up your next encounter. Then, all you’ll have to do next time is show up!

10. Hope for the best: who knows where it’s going? Cross your fingers, find a shooting star and carry your lucky penny.

[photo by hoyasmeg via Flickr]

Ralph Fiennes mile high club flight attendant back in the spotlight

It was back in 2007 when we first wrote about Lisa Robertson. This former cop turned callgirl turned flight attendant made the news when she admitted to having sex with actor Ralph Fiennes in a Qantas airplane bathroom.

Mr. Fiennes was on his way to speak at an AIDS conference to talk about the dangers of unprotected sex, when he had his unprotected sex with Ms. Robertson.

Since then, she has been fired by Qantas and recently declared bankruptcy. Sadly, she’s in the news again because she “forgot” to mention to the courts that she actually made about $180,000 from TV and newspaper interviews, all while still receiving social security benefits. She has been sentenced to 100 hours of community service.

Flight attendant sues Oprah over sex allegations

A flight attendant who used to work on Oprah’s private jet is suing for more than $300,000 in damages, claiming that allegations that she had sex with the pilot are false.

The story is, as these stories usually are, convoluted and filled with he-said-she-said contradictions. The skinny is: attendant Corrine Gehrls supposedly had “sexual contact” with the pilot outside his cockpit while Oprah was napping. The other two flight attendants, Myron Gooch and Kirby Bumpus (no I’m not making these names up) narced on the amorous duo and got them fired. It’s unclear whether the incident happened while they were in the air or on the ground.

Gehrls claims Gooch and Bumpus made up the story after a personal dispute with her and the pilot. She’s also claiming favoritism because Bumpus is Oprah’s goddaughter. Why someone would hire their goddaughter to serve them roasted peanuts is a mystery.

While we here at Gadling don’t mind passing along stories of Mile High hijinks, we do ask that you don’t interfere with the flight crew while they are doing their job. Consider becoming a laviator instead.

Galley Gossip: The mile high club – a question and a story

There’s a question I’m always asked whenever someone finds out I’m a flight attendant, a question that never ceases to amaze and simultaneously makes me cringe regardless of how often I hear it, a question about you guessed it – the mile high club.

“So…have you ever caught anyone joining the mile high club?” If it’s a single person doing the asking the question is usually direct and to the point, a just-the-facts-Ma’am kind of question, which I have no problem answering. But If it’s a couple doing the asking things can get a little creepy. Only because there’s always a quick glance at each other before the question is asked, followed by a nervous giggle between the words SO and HAVE, and a blush after the words MILE HIGH CLUB.

Now I actually began writing this post last month when someone going by the name of AlexaRPD asked the following question via twitter

How many times have you caught people, uh, fraternizing in the bathrooms on one of your flights? Is there a standard, corporate policy about what to do with folks who get caught going at it on the planes?

That question led to a few tweets back and forth about flight attendants knocking and unlocking lavatory doors or hovering over guilty parties hiding under blankets. It didn’t take long before I realized all of this would eventually end up in a post. That post started out like this…

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Dear Alexa,

It’s been quite a few years since I’ve caught anyone joining the club. In fact, the last couple, a celebrity couple, I encountered exiting the lav looking a bit disheveled and not at all embarrassed have since divorced. Knowing what I know now, I’m not so sure they were even joining the club since they have a reputation for partaking of illegal substances. Joining the mile high club is not illegal. But that’s only if you stop doing whatever it is you shouldn’t be doing when you’re asked to stop doing it. Why? Because passengers are required by law to obey flight attendant instructions.

I had planned on writing more but for whatever reason became distracted and never finished the post. It happens. But a week later I found myself in a hotel in San Francisco not far from the airport. That’s where I turned on my computer, logged into twitter, and immediately received a few messages from three different followers about Alexa officially joining the club.

“No way,” I wrote back. “I don’t believe it.”

“She did! And she did it with three Marines! She wrote all about it on her blog!”

I could tell by the exclamation marks the guy was overly excited and needed a hard dose of reality. “I can barely fit in lav with my three year-old son, let alone another adult person,” I typed, my head shaking side to side. “How small were the marines?”

Out of nowhere Alexa tweeted, “I could care less if you believe me!”

“Cat fight!” several people tweeted at once.

“Send me the post!” I requested. Two seconds later a link popped up on my screen. I took a deep breath and clicked.

Yes, I really did read all about Alexa’s erotic escapade in an airplane lavatory with three Marines. Of course I read it purely for logistics, analyzing how something like this could have actually taken place in such a contaminated confined space without alerting other passengers or crew. Sure I was a little surprised to see myself, one of the flight attendants, briefly mentioned in the story. And relief actually swept over me when I realized there was some order involved. The Marines took turns.

Honestly, it’s really hard for me to believe that people actually are able (and want) to join the mile high club, especially in this day and age of air travel. Not just because the bathrooms are small, but because flights are full and people are almost always lined up to use the lavs. Whenever a passenger takes a longer amount of time than what might be considered normal, you better believe other passengers are quick to ask me to intervene.

knock, knock, knock – I’ll bang my fist on the door. Two seconds later I’ll ask, “everything okay in there?” Taking a deep breath, I pray that everything is, in fact, okay in there because I really don’t want to have to put my ear against the locked door and hear something I seriously didn’t want to hear.

Just when I thought I had finally finished with this post, I logged into twitter and typed, “Just finished the mile high club post.” Here are a few interesting responses…

  • I was once propositioned to join the club, but declined. The guy ended up buying me jewelry from the duty free cart instead. The good ole days!
  • I came uncomfortably close to joining in the lower lobe galley on a DC-10
  • I’ve never understood the ‘mile high’ club,as most seem to join in the lavatory. Do you know how dirty plane lavs are?
  • I’m a flight attendant and just had this discussion with some pax who were sitting across from my jumpseat!
  • If only the lavs were cleaner and larger
  • My advice for those considering is ONLY on the 777 with a passenger from your ticketed cabin – the loo between F and J – that’s ALL I’m saying

Don’t forget to check out the “G” rated mile high club!

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Photos courtesy of sparkypics (couple), Sagrado Corazon (flight attendant)