Top five tips for newbies visiting nude beaches

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Are you planning to go “clothing optional” for the first time? From what I understand, you can have a lot of fun, but there are rules to be followed. Failing to do so can lead to an awkward situation or worse. Most of this is common sense, of course, which is probably why it’s worth mentioning. You can have fun without coming across as a disgusting nut job. I found a list of suggestions for first-time visitors to nude beaches over on Fox News and pulled the top five for you, below:

1. Wear protection: you’ll have much more of your body exposed to the sun than usual, so bring and apply sunscreen – lots of it. Could you imagine getting a sunburn on your… exactly. Test out sunscreen on areas where you may not be accustomed t wearing it, because your body may have an unexpected (and unpleasant) reaction.

2. Expect to be a hottie: if you think you’re going to find tight bodies pulled into provocative positions all over the beach, prepare yourself for some disappointment. You may get lucky and run into something sweet, but much will sag and drag.

And speaking of getting lucky … 3. Forget about sex: to feel comfortable on a nude beach, it seems, you need to be ready to take sex out of the equation. This isn’t the case at some beaches, however, which specialize in fostering carnality. But, be ready for bodies ready to be put to work. Look at (2) above, and prepare for the tables to be turned. Do a little jogging before hitting one of these destinations.

4. Leave your camera at home: even if you think you’re the next Larry Flynt, you should leave your inner shutterbug behind for a day. Photography and video are highly inappropriate. So is staring, in case you couldn’t figure that out on your own. Would you want anyone to do this for you? Wait … don’t answer that (except maybe in the comments below).

5. Take a towel: there are some places where you’ll need to cover up. Dining areas, bathrooms and entering and exiting the beach typically call for modesty, however much you may loathe it. Don’t do it for you – do it for everyone else.

[photo by ilovememphis via Flickr]

Summer travel: how not to sizzle your skin

by Laurel Miller on

The good folks at CNN have released a helpful guide and accompanying photo gallery horror show of solar ray-blasted epidermis. In “5 ways to avoid getting deep-fried,” you’ll find dermatologist’s tips to protect your sun from UVA/UVB damage, skin cancer detection links, and entertaining anecdotes of CNN reporters’ worst sunburns/precursors to melanoma.

I love the sun as much as most holiday-makers, but years of basting myself in baby oil, combined with the onset of crow’s feet in my early twenties and my mother’s own ongoing struggle with basal and squamous cell carcinomas have turned me into the Queen of Sunscreen. While my friends still mock me, and a former farmers market employer once remarked, “I can always tell when you’ve been hugging my dog, because he smells like sunscreen!” I feel vindicated because at 41, I look a good ten years younger, and have yet to develop my first pre-cancerous lesion. I get an annual screening at my dermatologist, and religiously apply a minimum of SPF 30 UVA/UVB sunblock over all exposed body parts (please remember the back of your neck, hands, ears, and knees, and tops of your feet).

Gadling has a more detailed explanation of what the heck all this SPF stuff means, and a guide to choosing sunglasses that do more than just look hip. I also wear, and heartily endorse (unpaid, of course) the sun protective clothing by ExOfficio, and sun protective hats by Outdoor Research. Sounds wacky, but these items are constructed with UPF (ultraviolet protection factor) textiles that, while not a substitute for sunblock, provide a great dual-defense system. They’re also attractive, and incredibly versatile and travel-friendly. Don’t hide from the sun this holiday weekend; just take precautions, have fun, and think of all the money you’ll save by not requiring reconstructive surgery and Botox.

(Image credit: Flickr/Saspotato)