SkyMall Monday: Magic Derriere Enhancing Panty vs. Clothing Shields


We all have our own body issues. For some, they wish they were thinner. For others, acne causes constant embarrassment. However, two issues stand out as the most traumatizing: small butts and excessive sweating. Flat-butted women have long suffered from Droopy Pants Complex, an affliction that has flummoxed scientists for minutes. Women who sweat are forced to hide their armpits under sweaters, jackets, shrugs and housecoats. This strategy only leads to more sweating through a process called “Layered Armpit Dampness.” Thankfully, the experts here at SkyMall Monday labs have been researching two products dedicated to curing these awful afflictions. With the help of those selfless philanthropists at SkyMall, perhaps we can finally put to rest these two nightmares. But, which product is the most useful, the Magic Derriere Enhancing Panty or Clothing Shields? Read on to find out.

We pored over these two products for as long as it took to read their product descriptions in the SkyMall catalog on a flight home from South Florida. In that time, we made many amusing observations stunning discoveries. We are now prepared to release our results are share our findings with the scientific community.


While we certainly were able to see the merits of the Magic Derriere Enhancing Panty, we failed to see any magic. This false claim forced is to scrutinize the products further, which led to the discovery that the Clothing Shields are, in fact, shields for clothing.

Flat Butt Syndrome sufferers need only find cushioned seats to live comfortably. Excessive sweaters live in shame – and inside the laundry room. The much-needed relief provided by Clothing Shields cannot be ignored.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Top 5 reasons Icebreaker underwear are my favorite pieces of travel gear

Gadling has sung the praises of New Zealand-based Icebreaker clothing before. We love it. However, on a recent trip to Indonesia, I learned just how fantastic the merino wool garments actually are when put to the test. While you may think that wool clothing would be far too hot for the humid Balinese climate, you’ll be surprised to learn just how critical a role Icebreaker played in keeping me comfortable. I brought several pairs of Icebreaker Beast 150 boxer briefs with me to Bali and, if I hadn’t, I can honestly say that I would have been miserably uncomfortable. Are a few pairs of underwear really that critical?

I so enjoyed Icebreaker’s boxer briefs that they have become my favorite piece of travel gear. With each passing day of the trip, as temperatures approached 90°F and humidity constantly hovered at around 98%, I was increasingly more thankful that the most intimate parts of my body were enrobed in Icebreaker. Why the glowing praise? Here are the top five reasons:

5. Style

Plenty of performance garments fulfill their promise to keep you comfortable. Many, however, do so in a hideous fashion (literally). While it’s fine to look rugged while you’re out for a hike or exploring some ruins, you still want your gear to allow you to dress up nicely. Considering that my girlfriend was with me in Bali, it was nice that Icebreaker’s underwear showed that I hadn’t given up on romance.

4. Packing

No underwear should take up much space in your luggage, but Icebreaker boxer briefs are so thin – yet durable – that they fold up neatly and compactly. And, since you don’t need to pack too many pairs, they really help lighten your load. Speaking of not having to pack too many pairs…

3. Quick Dry

Rather than pack 14 pairs of underwear for a two week trip, I rotated three pairs of Icebreaker boxer briefs. When they needed a wash, I’d rinse them in the sink with some Dr. Bronner’s and hang them to dry. In just a few hours (overnight was more than enough time), they were bone dry and ready to be worn again. However, I didn’t have to wash them too often because…

2. Odorless

Icebreaker gear doesn’t absorb odor. You can wear their gear for days – and I did – without washing it and the people around you are none the wiser. No matter how much I sweat in Bali (read: a lot), my underwear still seemed fresh at the end of the day. Not having to do laundry daily allowed me to make the most of my time in Indonesia. Which was easy considering…

1. Breathable

Perhaps my underwear stayed so fresh because I never felt that hot in my crotch. Unlike traditional cotton underwear (which I wore for one day and refused to use for the rest of the trip), Icebreaker boxer briefs allowed air to flow. As such, I stayed dry where it was most important. Lest you make a joke about groin discomfort, jock itch (aka tinea cruris) is no laughing matter. Having a rash in your crotch and inner thighs from sweat is uncomfortable and takes days to clear up. Icebreaker boxer briefs made sure that I avoided that travel nightmare.

Icebreaker Beast 150 boxer briefs are available on the company’s website, at their stores in Portland and New York and at various outdoor gear suppliers. They retail for $43 per pair.