SkyMall Monday: Touchless Sensor Toilet Seats

by Mike Barish on

Once SkyMall Monday headquarters became a den of premarital cohabitation, I was forced to learn the fine art of leaving the toilet seat down. It seems that women urinate while seated and, should the seat be up when they attempt to sit, they can fall into the bowl. As refreshingly hilarious as that sounds, it turns out that they find getting their buttocks stuck in the toilet to be humiliating and infuriating. Why, however, should men be forced to deal with the burden of lowering the toilet seat upon completion of their standing bladder evacuation? It seems to me that women need to take responsibility for their own needs and be in charge of lowering the seat when they need it. What happened to women’s lib? Thankfully, SkyMall is here to eliminate the issue altogether, thus bringing domestic peace amongst the sexes. It is no longer the man’s responsibility to lower the seat or the woman’s job to nag the man. From now on, the toilet will do all of the work thanks to the Touchless Sensor Toilet Seats.Who wants to touch dirty toilet seats? Plus, the constant raising and lowering of toilet seats puts unwanted stress on our wrists and elbows leading to a condition called Pisser’s Arm. No one wants to miss out on their bowling league because of a bathroom-related injury.

Think that lifting the toilet seat takes one second? Believe that this cliché argument between men and women is easily solved with a simple conversation and a little bit of compromise? Well, while you argue over whether the toilet paper roll should be hung overhand or underhand (the answer is overhand), we’ll be reading the product description:

Some men have a hard time remembering to put the toilet seat down after use.

Now the Touchless Sensor Toilet Seat is good news for your household. It raises the lid automatically as you approach the toilet.

Wave a hand over it one more time and the seat rises.

Then both the lid and seat close automatically 15 seconds after you step away. The unit is easy to install and because it’s touchless, it helps prevent germs and bacteria from spreading.

Clearly, waving your hand over the toilet like a wizard takes less time than lifting the seat manually. And, since you never clean your bathroom, it’s for the best that you never touch anything in there.

The product is made by the same company that solved the problem of always having to rip off a sheet of paper towel with our own bare hands, so it’s about time that they receive a Nobel Peace Prize for the domestic bliss that they have brought us.

If you’re curious about how this all works, check out the video below, which is the least erotic demonstration involving a toilet that I have ever seen.

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

Vote for America’s best bathroom

by Sean McLachlan on

It’s a room we visit several times each day, but the humble bathroom (john, head, bog, loo, etc.) is rarely celebrated in its true glory. Cintas Facility Services, a leading provider of bathroom supplies, wants to change that with its America’s Best Restroom Award. Check out their website to see the nominees and vote for your favorite. A good bathroom is the traveler’s best friend, and should be appreciated.

But we here at Gadling are too well traveled to get all starry-eyed about the glories of the garderobe. We’ve dealt with squishy Asian squat, public lavatory putrescence, and outhouse odor. So let’s hear your votes for the world’s worst bathrooms. Here’s my nominee:

In 1996 I left the Iranian border town of Zahedan and entered Pakistan. My first stop was Taftan, a miserable hole if I ever saw one. The streets were nothing but sand. Trash blew between bare concrete houses. Moneychangers swarmed around me like flies. Flies swarmed around me like moneychangers. Then disaster struck–I had to go to the bathroom.

The public toilet next to the bus station was an area about ten feet to a side enclosed by a concrete wall. There was no roof. There was no door, only a blind turn before you entered a sandbox that looked just like the street except that it was covered in crap. The flies here were so thick that I put my bandanna over my nose and mouth so I didn’t inhale any. There was no escaping the smell. I picked my way through a minefield of human waste until I found a clear spot for both my feet. The flies were relentless, and I had to fan myself constantly so they didn’t get stuck to my business end.

Like everywhere in South Asia, foreigners get stared at in Pakistan, and they make no exception for foreigners squatting with their pants down. A small crowd of other squatters stared at me with undisguised curiosity as I did what I needed to do and fled as quick as I could.

I only stayed in Taftan an hour until I could catch a bus for Quetta, but I will always remember the bathroom there, and the fact that I got pick-pocketed. They only got about five dollars worth of Iranian rials, but it’s the thought that counts. The thought of some guy’s hand in my pocket. I hope, I pray, that it wasn’t one of the guys watching me in the bathroom.

Think you can beat that? Give it your best shot.

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GoGirl – So girls can … go

by Annie Scott on

What is this obsession with women being able to pee standing up? Other than the ability to write my name in the snow, I have not really felt like I’m missing out on anything. I have yet to catch any communicable diseases from a toilet seat. And I do actually sit on the toilet seat. There, I said it.

If you’re a hoverer, by the way, check out this story on ABC News and sit your bum down, please. The messes you people leave should be classified as terrorism.

Onto the product: This is the GoGirl. It’s a somewhat updated version of the “pee funnel” we showed you back in 2004. For example, rather than “pee funnel,” they call this a “female urination device” (or an FUD).

The GoGirl is disposable, and comes with tissue and a biodegradable baggie all in the neat little cylinder that fits in your purse or pocket. You can buy one here for $4.99 (you can also buy a t-shirt, cap, or shorts, in case you want the world to know you like to pee standing up).

GoGirl recommends their product for SkiGirl, OutdoorsyGirl, GlobalGirl, MommyGirl, CityGirl, and RoadGirl for varying reasons, but however many of those I may be? I don’t want one.

Largely because it would require me to essentially piddle into my hand. Ew. Warm. Ew.