No doubt about it, driving long distances with children can be a real drag–the constant potty breaks, the fighting in the back seat, and the high-pitched pleas to go to some kiddie restaurant like Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Don’t despair. You may be a parent, but you’re still in charge. Go where you want to go. Go to Hooters, even. Because Hooters, I’ve recently discovered, is child friendly.
I was driving across Missouri with my friends Rex and Caitlin and Rex’s four-year-old daughter Aly. We wanted some wings, so we stopped at Hooters just outside Columbia. You know, that Hooters, the one with the busty waitresses in skimpy costumes. Maybe I’m naive, but I thought poor little Aly would be the only kid in a room full of frat boys and lonely old men. Boy, was I wrong! Half the tables had children at them. Entire families had come out to enjoy Hooters!
And why not? Hooters has a special Kids menu, along with Hooters games and Hooters crayons. The waitresses are friendly too, and not in the same way they’re friendly to their male customers. When our waitress arrived wearing her tiny tank top and shrink-to-fit orange shorts, she immediately made Aly the center of attention.
“Are you a cheerleader?” Aly asked.
“I used to be a cheerleader,” our waitress replied. “Do you want to be a cheerleader?”
“I think you’d make a GREAT cheerleader!”
All this was said while our waitress leaned over our table showing off cleavage deeper than the Grand Canyon and sticking her rear out in a classic “spank me” pose. According to their employee handbook they’re supposed to act like that.
OK, so here we are at Hooters. There are underdressed buxom women everywhere, two dozen TVs showing sports, and hot wings on the table. What more could you ask for? While the idea of taking a child to Hooters is a bit odd, the fact is they really are kid friendly. But maybe four year-olds aren’t too discerning. When we asked Aly at the end of the meal what her favorite part was, she pointed to the nearest TV and gave us a big smile, grease dribbling down her little chin.