Top Ten Reasons that Road Trips Suck

by Annie Scott on

Whether you’re trying to save money or shrink your vacation’s carbon footprint, you probably know, deep down, that road trips suck. There are definitely good things about the open road; the unexpected detours, the wind in your hair (or exhaust in your face, eyes) … but for the most part, sitting in traffic in a closed vehicle for untold hours with people you may or may not normally tolerate for long stretches would probably be one of Dante’s rings of Inferno, had he thought of it. Road trips suck. Just in time for Thanksgiving, let’s go ahead and talk about it. It might make you feel better.

Top Ten Reasons that Road Trips Suck

1. Time. Driving takes forever. You’re cramped up in this tiny little space (especially if someone’s behind you and demanding leg room of any kind), and even if you speed, you will probably only end up shaving like fifteen minutes off of your trip — that’s if you don’t get arrested. A flight from New York to LA is about 6 hours and 45 minutes. The drive? According to Mapquest, it’s 42 hours and 45 minutes from Times Square to Laurel Canyon and Sunset Boulevard. And you can never have those 42 hours and 45 minutes back.

2. The whole car has to pull over if one person has to “go.” It’s not fair. The whole trip has to stop because someone had a Mountain Dew. Rest stops have gotten better over the years, but it’s inevitable that you will end up at the one with townies who look like they want to bash your head against the condom dispenser and “Beware Cat Burglar” on the back of the restroom stalls.

3. It wrecks the car. Road trips may stress you out. Well, they also put stress on your car. The miles depreciate its resale value one by one. Your vehicle could also break down, leaving you stranded and having to fly or rent, or worse yet, you could just be stuck knowing that “my car has never run the same since that road trip.” A lot of people will tell you to make sure to get your car serviced before your trip. Ever been to an auto body shop that can’t find something wrong? Me neither. There goes whatever cash you were saving by not flying.
4. Sleepiness. When you’re driving alone late at night, it’s not uncommon (and very dangerous) to get a case of the nods. Worse still is when you have a car full of people with you — and they’re all asleep.

5. Carsickness. If you’re not the driver, you’re bored. That’s just how it is after a couple of hours. Unfortunately, if you’re part of the 80 percent of the population that gets motion sickness (at some point, according to Healthline), just about everything that might be fun to do in a small, enclosed space, like read, play a videogame, or do a puzzle, will make you violently ill. Especially if you’re running on low-budget diner food.

6. Radio fail. However many miles it takes you to get sick of your iPod, that’s about how many miles it probably takes for you to be completely free of all familiar radio stations. Then, you have to scan and scan for something even remotely listenable, and whatever decent signal you do manage to pick up is gone within half an hour to an hour. If you bring a book on tape, you’re similarly doomed because if you’re alone, your mind will wander or you’ll get distracted by navigating. If you’re with others, someone will start talking, or, as before, they’ll all be lulled to sleep, and you’ll be stuck rewinding constantly.

7. Traffic. God forbid you should try and take a vacation the same day as other people, because not only will the airports be dire, but the traffic will be literally catastrophic — and by “catastrophic,” I mean that the stop and go will result in accidents. And it might be your unlucky day. Where I’m from in Minnesota, we have an old saying: “There are two seasons: ‘winter’ and ‘road construction,'” meaning that the traffic is just always bad. Which leads us to …

8. Road rage. Road construction and inclement weather both require people to drive slowly, which can turn even the calmest mind into a raging bear. It’s like sitting in the longest line in the world, and you have no control over when you’ll be out of it. People lose it.

9. The hotels along the way. Road trips longer than ten hours (longer for you hard-core trekkers) generally require you to stay a night somewhere. The trouble is that no one wants to deal with the traffic (or upcharge) of venturing into a city when the whole point is to “make good time” (i.e. sleep and get back on the road). Whether you plan your night in the boondocks in advance or just pull over at any decent-looking motel, the result is about the same, and it’s not pretty. Keep in mind, the remote is the filthiest thing …

10. “Hell is other people.” Jean-Paul Sarte said it best (in French) in his classic play, No Exit: “Hell is other people.” His play features three people in a room with no way out. They discuss their lives, decide they hate each other, decide they forgive each other, then hate each other again, and so on and so forth with no forseeable end. What could be worse? Put them in a car.
Other than that, road trips are fine.

Top Ten All-Time Scariest Travel-Themed Movies

by Annie Scott on

Halloween is a-comin’. In the mood for some scary movies? So are we! That’s why we’ve made a list of the Top Ten All-Time Scariest Travel-Themed Movies for you. Don’t worry, we won’t spoil the endings, just give you the gist and the Netflix links. Watch at your own risk; you may never travel again.

The Top Ten All-Time Scariest Travel-Themed Movies

1. The Exorcist — It all goes to Hell (somewhat literally) when Father Merrin is leading an archaeological dig in Iraq and pulls Pazuzu out of the sand. Be careful what you dig up on your trips to ancient cities!

2. Psycho — Gadling does not recommend the showers at the Bates Motel.

3. The Shining — This Kubrick classic starring Jack Nicholson takes place in a hotel which gets snowed in for the winter. All hotel hallways have a similar look to them, and all will feel a little more dangerous when you’ve seen what little Danny sees.

4. The Strangers — The most recent scary flick on our list (2008) stars Liv Tyler and Australian supermodel Gemma Ward. You know that isolated vacation home, or perhaps cabin, that you long to escape to? Watch this first. (Or don’t.)5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre — Oh my gosh, people. Don’t pick up hitchhikers, and don’t enter strange houses in isolated towns where you’re investigating graveyard vandalism and corpse defilement. This is Not Getting Killed 101.

6. The Descent — Spelunking is cool and all, with the stalactites, stalagmites and fascinating species of animals who’ve evolved to live underground, but first, find out what the name of the cave is …

7. The Hills Have Eyes — If someone invites you on a road trip and you don’t want to go, pop this 1977 Wes Craven hit into their mailbox. They may reconsider.

8. Hostel — Ah, backpacking. It’s all fun and games until you visit the wrong hostel. Just remember: if you’re abroad and someone invites you somewhere promising loose women and good times, you are not that good looking. Run for your life.

9. Vacancy — Kate Beckinsale and Luke Wilson may not be your idea of a good horror film duo, but the concept of this movie will freak you out next time you visit an isolated hotel with no cell reception — oh yeah, and, you probably shouldn’t do that.

10. The Blair Witch Project — Ten years later, we are still laughing about the one sentence review: “Three potty mouths in a thicket.” Still, if investigating local ghost stories or taking extensive hikes is part of your regular vacation fare, make sure you’ve seen this cult favorite.

You’ll note that in all cases, we’ve linked the originals, not the remakes. That wasn’t an accident. Just sayin’.

Happy Halloween!

Top ten things not to forget on a trip

by Annie Scott on

We all usually try to travel light, but when you succeed, do you feel a little nervous? I do. If I can lift my suitcase without grunting, I’m fairly certain I’ve forgotten something. Here’s a list of the Top ten things not to forget on a trip — hopefully both you and I can remember to check it next time we’re about to head out of town!

1. Cell Phone Charger. They’ve started carrying universal chargers (with multiple heads) at places like Walgreens, but that’s $15 to $20 you really shouldn’t have to spend.

2. Program Your Phone. Do you have the airline and hotel phone numbers in your phone? You should. It’s also a good idea to list your destination’s number for taxis, and someone with ICE (In Case of Emergency) before their name.

3. Passport and Tickets or Itinerary. You need some form of photo ID to travel even domestically, so don’t forget it. The passport is obviously important for foreign travel, but make sure it isn’t about to expire; many countries won’t let you in with under six months left. Also, even if you booked all your travel online, customs will sometimes ask to see your full itinerary, so bring tickets or print it all out.
4. Socks and Accessories. We can usually remember our socks and underwear, but when you’re heading somewhere warm, you probably throw your athletic shoes in the bag for touristy hikes and/or exercising; don’t forget the socks — or face the stinky consequences. There are other unisex items we often miss: belts, hats and scarves, and a good pair of walking or evening shoes. Men, did you remember your tie? Your cufflinks? Women, your jewelry? Hairbands? Bobby pins? Small purse?

5. A Book. Heaven forbid you should be trapped on a long flight with nothing to read but SkyMall or the newspaper. Don’t forget your book, or at least bring a laptop and a dvd.

6. Meds and Potions. Now that you have to pack your lotions and creams and such separately from the rest of your carry-on, it’s easy to forget them altogether. Also, don’t forget your medications — not just prescription. I never go anywhere without Advil, just in case. For your handy reference, TSA guidelines are here.

7. Pajamas. Once you painstakingly pick out clothes for every occasion, remember that you have to sleep in something, too.

8. Converters. Going somewhere foreign? Guess where you can use your electronics: Nowhere! Most good hotels will provide you with at least one power adapter, but I like to have more than that; otherwise I’m constantly switching from charging my phone to charging my computer, and once the razor or curling/straightening iron comes into play, it just gets messy.

9. Gifts. This is a big one for the holidays. Don’t forget the presents! Also, if you’re heading somewhere far away, it’s easy to pack a couple simple things from home to give as thank yous, just in case.

10. Camera and Accessories. Forgetting your camera can all-out ruin your fun. What good is taking a vacation without the means to document it? All right, probably some good, but don’t forget your camera. Disposables aren’t the same and you probably don’t want to buy a whole new one out of town. What’s more, don’t forget the battery charger and the memory card. It can be an expensive mistake!

The ten toughest castles in the world

by Sean McLachlan on

Castles make a pretty backdrop to any vacation. They conjure up images of brave knights and damsels in distress, but the reality was less romantic. Castles were fortifications built to defend important cities, ports, fords, or mountain passes. The best military minds in the world devised ways to destroy them, when they weren’t figuring out better ways to build them. Here are ten castles that proved almost too tough to take. Some took centuries before they fell, or cost the lives of hundreds of attackers. A few never fell at all.

Crac de Chevaliers
One of the best preserved Crusader castles in the Middle East, it protected the pass from the lowlands of Lebanon through the Anti-Lebanon Mountains and into the rich Orontes river valley of Syria. It’s on the Syrian side of the border but its turrets afford fine views of Lebanon. Originally an Arab castle that was taken by the French during the First Crusade in 1099, it became the headquarters of the Knights Hospitaller, a knightly order that protected pilgrims in the Holy Land. They protected themselves too, by strengthening the castle and putting up walls that were up to 100 feet thick. It withstood more than one siege and even the great Saladin couldn’t take it. It eventually fell back into Muslim hands in 1271 but remained the model for castle builders in Europe.

Masada
Facing the world’s biggest empire with only a ragtag group of dedicated fighters? Go to the middle of the desert, find a sheer mesa, and hold up in it. That’s what the Sicarii, Jewish resistance fighters, did when they rebelled against the Roman Empire in the first century AD. The location was perfect. The mesa had already been fortified by King Herod as a refuge in case of rebellion, but the Sicarii rebels got it instead. Sheer cliffs rise 300 feet (90 meters) above the desert at their lowest point, and in spots tower up to 1,300 feet (400 meters). The only way up are three winding paths that are exposed to arrows and rocks coming from above. The Romans, in their typical efficiency, built a rampart up the entire way so they could roll up battering rams to breach the walls. The Sicarii committed mass suicide rather than surrender. The Roman camps and walls used to cut Masada off from the rest of the world are still plainly visible.

Numancia
The Celts in Spain faced the same problem the Sicarii did. How to defeat the Roman Empire? Numancia was one tribe’s answer. This hillfort at the headwaters of the Duero River held out for twenty years until the inevitable end came. The defenders had run out of food and had been reduced to cannibalism. Like the Sicarii, the Celts chose death before dishonor and most of them committed mass suicide in 133 BC. Spain became a Roman province. Today you can see reconstructions of the fort and Roman siege techniques at the site’s musuem.

Osaka
The samurai were brave warriors ready to face death, but even they must have thought twice about attacking this castle. Completed in 1598, it was the base of operations for Hideyoshi Toyotomi, who made peace between Japan’s many warring factions by beating them into submission. It took 200,000 soldiers more than a year to take this place in 1615, and when you look at this photo of the bare face of the ramparts you can see why. The castle combines form and function and is beautiful as well as impregnable.

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Walls of Constantinople
OK, this isn’t technically a castle, but the massive walls of Constantinople (modern Istanbul) protected the capital of Byzantium for more than a thousand years. Byzantium was the eastern half of the Roman Empire and survived long after Rome fell. The Bulgars, Slavs, and Turks all failed to take the massive double land walls and moat. It took the invention of cannon to finally destroy them. The Ottoman Turks under Mehmet the Conqueror in 1453 AD had a giant cannon that could shoot a 1,200 lb. stone ball a mile, backed up by an army that may have numbered as many as 200,000 men. The city still held out two months before falling and becoming the new Ottoman capital.

Sacsayhuaman
The Incas were master builders. Unlike most cultures, they didn’t build with regular blocks, but instead used irregularly shaped stones that fit together so precisely that not even a knife can be pushed through the cracks. Believe me, I tried. In the highlands around Cuzco, Peru, they built a series of temples and the giant fortress of Sacsayhuaman to protect them. The fortress has triple walls almost 20 feet (six meters) tall constructed in a jagged outline so the defenders could throw stones and spears at the attacking force from three sides instead of just one. It was finished sometime in the early 1500s, just in time for the Spanish to invade. The conquistadors were only able to take it after a fierce fight and the loss of Francisco Pizarro’s younger brother Juan.

Malta
Located smack dab in the middle of the Mediterranean at one of its narrowest points, whoever controlled Malta controlled trade. This, of course, led to lots of wars. Malta changed hands countless times, but one of its biggest battles came in 1565 when the Ottomans tried to take the island from the Knights Hospitaller. The Knights were ready with not just one castle but three. The Ottomans had an estimated 20,000-50,000 troops. Barely 500 knights and 5,600 helpers stood in their path, but they had the castles. The Ottomans landed and started a heavy bombardment with a large number of artillery on the first fort on their list, Fort St. Elmo. The castle was reduced to rubble but its 600 defenders went down fighting. The Turks lost more than 4,000. The attack then focused on Forts St. Angelo and St. Michael, and the Turks ground up their army against the walls. After losing at least a third of their force, they called it a day and retreated. Cannonballs from the bombardment can still be seen in the fields.

Burg Eltz
This castle has the distinction of still being the home of the same family that owned it in the 12th century. Built upon a 70 meter (220 ft.) high crag next to an important trade route, it was perfectly positioned to assert power. A river flows around three sides of the crag, making it almost impossible to take. The castle is an architectural jewel and much of the fifteenth-century interior is preserved. Burg Eltz has one of the best settings of all the castles in this list. The primeval Eltz forest encloses the castle on all sides, and several historic villages are nearby. Because of its commanding position and the political skill of its owners, it was only attacked once. In 1331, Archbishop Baldwin of Luxembourg tried to extend his territory by attacking the castle with catapults and an early cannon. After more than two years of bombardment, the archbishop admitted defeat and went back to Luxembourg.

Carcassonne
The high walls that ring this strategic town did what many French castles could not–resist the English throughout the Hundred Years War. The Romans had a fort on this hilltop in 100 BC and some of the original stones can still be seen in the walls. Later it was a stronghold of the Cathars, a Christian sect that was destroyed in a crusade led
by the bloodthirsty Simon de Montfort, who killed anyone who he found in Cathar-controlled territory, whether they were Cathars or not. He’s the origin of the saying, “Kill them all, God will sort them out.” In 1209 he took Carcassonne, but the city stood firm against later sieges, including a long and determined one by the English. Nowadays it’s a perfect view of Gothic spires and imposing medieval walls.

Bamburgh
This Northumbrian stronghold is like many of the castles on this list in that the present structure covers up centuries of history. Bamburgh was the capital of the Anglo-Saxon kingdom of Northumbria and there was a castle here from the 6th century AD. It survived a number of sieges and that’s hardly surprising when you see it standing proud on a little peninsula jutting out into the North Sea. A massive gatehouse and walls protect the landward side. In 1095, the owner Robert de Mowbray was captured by the attacking Normans but his wife took over the defense and continued to push back their assaults. She finally gave in when the Normans threatened to blind Robert. The castle fell again in 1464 during the Wars of the Roses when it became the first English castle to surrender because of an artillery bombardment. Modern technology succeeded where generations of swordsmen failed.

Top 10 travel-themed 80’s songs

by Jeremy Kressmann on

Something happened to songwriters during the 80’s. Synthesizers became required instruments, hair got bigger and most importantly, songwriters were increasingly interested in the theme of travel. Why was travel suddenly such an important subject? Though there’s no one right answer, the reasons for the glut of travel-themed 80’s songs are many, including the influence of globalization, the rise of international pop stars and, of course, because the bands just wanted to seem cool and more worldly. Isn’t that always the best reason?

With so many great travel-themed 80’s pop songs out there, it was only natural for Gadling to compile a list of our top ten favorites. After hours of intensive polling, debating and arguing, we’re happy to present you with the following gems. How many do you remember? Think you know the best? Take a look below:

80’s Travel Song #10: The Bangles – Walk Like an Egyptian

How does one “walk like an Egyptian” you might ask? Well, if you were The Bangles, it involved some awkward imitations of ancient hieroglyphics. Though they never do the dance in their video, the song kicked off a wave of hieroglyphics imitators, all turned sideways in tribute. So did the band ever visit Egypt? Were they avid archaeology buffs? I’m afraid the answer is probably no. But hey, the dance makes you look pretty cool. Make sure to show it off the next time you find yourself on the streets of Cairo!


80’s Travel Song #9: Murray Head – One Night in Bangkok

So what exactly is going on here? 80’s one-hit wonders Murray Head sing this ode to Bangkok, originally composed by the former members of ABBA, as part of the soundtrack for the hit musical Chess, and the music video doesn’t stray too far from the theme. A guy plays chess, people are dancing with Asian masks in a dark scary room and there’s lots of smoke. I haven’t yet been to Bangkok, but based on this video, I think I have a pretty good sense of what to expect. If nothing else, it’s got quite a hummable chorus, no?

80’s Travel Song #8: U2 – I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

In 1986, U2 began work on a new album called The Joshua Tree. The record was meant to describe all that they loved about American musical traditions, including Blues, Gospel and Folk. The result of their efforts was their most popular album to date, including hit singles like “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” The song’s themes of wandering, discovery and open road remain just as resonant today as when the song was first released back in 1987. Make sure to watch the official video (we couldn’t embed it, sorry) to see the band as they wander around Las Vegas.

80’s Travel Song #7: Go-Go’s – Vacation

Not only is “Vacation” the name of a hit song by 80’s all-girl group The Go-Go’s, it’s also the name of their 1982 album. Propelled by bouncy melodies and catchy guitar hooks, “Vacation” might seem to be the perfect carefree soundtrack to that next trip down to the Bahamas. But if you listen closely, you’ll notice the lyrics to “Vacation” really have nothing to do with travel, beaches or road trips: it’s actually about a relationship. That said, don’t let the lyrical content spoil the fun – “Vacation” remains an 80’s travel song favorite.

80’s Travel Song #6: B-52’s – Roam

They might not have known it at the time, but this quintessential ode to wandering by 80’s super-group The B-52’s was destined to be included on every travel-themed iPod playlist. It has all the right ingredients – the references to dusty trails, a sugary melody and plenty of killer choruses. Anytime you stuck at home or at the office and dreaming of that next big trip, throw on “Roam” and you’re guaranteed to be transported back out on the open road, if only in your mind.

80’s Travel Song #5: Billy Ocean – Caribbean Queen

Remember the first time you heard Billy Ocean’s Caribbean Queen? Was it in a dentist office waiting room? Streaming from the “Lite Rock” station at a coworker’s cubicle? It’s likely you don’t have fond memories of it, and frankly, that’s a shame. The ultimate “King of Smooth,” Mr. Billy Ocean, brings us this easy listening staple, a must-have on any self-respecting 80’s travel song list. The easygoing rhythms paired with the luxurious string section give this song a carefree, island vibe that’s hard to describe. You either want to break out in spontaneous dance or go cry in the corner – it’s hard to decide which feels more appropriate.

80’s Travel Song #4: Men at Work – Land Down Under

This one is just too easy. Men at Work’s Land Down Under music video has just about every 80’s and Australian cliche known to mankind. That includes the unnecessary man sitting in a tree playing a flute solo, a stuffed koala, band members wearing leather pants in the desert, and plenty of gratuitous Foster’s product shots. If you want to (mis)understand what the 80’s were all about, just watch this video. It’s amazing.

80’s Travel Song #3: Duran Duran – Rio

Like so many other epic pop singles, Duran Duran’s Rio is a tribute to that “special someone.” In this case though, the place and the person are used interchangeably. They call it “Rio,” an earthly paradise of beaches, twinkling stars and sensuous “curves.” Are they talking about Rio de Janeiro? Some other “river” of fantasies? A fair-skinned beauty? The answer is up to the listener to decide. Make sure to watch the sailboat-themed video (which we weren’t able to embed in this post).

80’s Travel Song #2: Toto – Africa

Africa has long been a source of mystery and intrigue for travelers, a fact one-hit wonders Toto play off in this tribute to the famously “exotic” continent. The action in the video inexplicably kicks off in a library (in Africa, I guess?) where the band is searching for answers. Sadly, despite pulling a number of dusty tomes off the shelf, including one appropriately titled “Africa,” they don’t seem to find anything of use. Soon an errant spear is thrown into the bookcase and chaos ensues. If you’re looking to find every possible stereotype about Africa embodied in a catchy pop song, Toto’s Africa is it.

80’s Travel Song #1: Big Country – In a Big Country

Big Country might not have achieved the same degree of 80’s-hit stardom as Duran Duran or Men at Work, but their grand opus, “In a Big Country,” is among the most epic travel songs of all time. Much like Rio, “In a Big Country” mixes subjects between special places and people, singing of the inspiring places around us and the people that inhabit them. The soaring lyrics and catchy chorus never fail to get your body moving and your mind dreaming off distant lands. Plus, in the music video, the band seems to be having plenty of fun along the way, tooling around on 3-wheelers in search of adventure.