Homer Simpson’s voice on GPS tells you where to go and more

by Jamie Rhein on

Earlier today Mike wondered what Bob Dylan’s voice would be like in a GPS system. Here’s another voice idea. Greg Phelps, the art car aficionado who tells me about car oddities from time to time, told me about this one. Homer Simpson’s voice can be downloaded to a portable TomTom GPS device.

Along with giving directions, Homer makes side comments to ramp up the amusement value. Homer pipes out with lines that carry the hope for food stops, as well as, lines like “You’ve reached your destination. You can hold your head up high because you’re a genius.”

In addition to helping you get where you want to go, I can see how Homer’s voice would be fun to have as a companion in a traffic jam. I once gave my husband a bottle opener with Homer Simpson’s voice that was triggered by popping the cap off. I didn’t know there could be something better than that bottle opener.

Gas pump woes: More than just the price

by Jamie Rhein on

I just read in this New York Times article that the increasing gas prices in the United States are creating problems at some gas pumps–actually all gas pumps. It’s not because people are throwing themselves on the hood of their cars weeping as the total bill climbs.

I just had a flash of a movie scene. Ben Stiller in the persona of his Something About Mary character–the high school prom guy, cleaning the windshield of his car, weeping–his tears are falling in streams, mixing in with the cleaning solution from the gas station squeegee. Those weird serenaders are in the background singing a gas pump price tag lament.

No, this is not what is happening at the pump. What is happening is that some pumps have pump computers too old to handle the $4 plus a gallon amount. They are stuck at $3.99. As a temporary solution until the new computers arrive, gas station owners are charging half the dollar amount at the pump and doubling the total at the cash register. They have official permission to do so, (There is an application process.) I bet that’s a psychological jolt when someone goes to pay. If you happen to come across an old gas station pump in your travels, this is one situation you might come across.

Another interesting point the article makes is that the modern, computerized machines are breaking down more often because of the speed the pump’s mechanism needs to turn to get higher and higher numbers. The higher the numbers, the faster the numbers turn, so the faster there is a breakdown. This is my understanding.

What is the limit of the new pump computers you may wonder? Just how pricey could gas get if one uses them to project ahead? $9.99. This is like Y-2K, but this time there is a problem. It will take about five months for all the pumps to be updated because of the back log with filling orders.

Driver Shot For Honking at Green Light

by Justin Glow on

This story came up in my RSS feeds this morning, and I couldn’t help but think of my recent trip to India. What’s getting shot in the abdomen for honking at someone at a green light got to do with India?

Well, if you’ve been to the subcontinent — or most other places in Asia for that matter — you’ve no doubt noticed the differences between the way we, Americans, use our car horns, and Asians use theirs. In India, the car horn is a tool, a way to alert the (millions of) other drivers (on the same road as you at one time) that — hey! — I’m creeping up on you, or I’m about to pull out in front of you, or I’m carrying a rather large load of chickens. A trip through any major Asian city accompanied by a consistent hum of car horns; as you finally lay down to rest in your hostel or hotel bed for the night, you can still hear the faint buzz of a million horns going off at once.

So what’s different with America (and much of the Western world?)

Sure, shooting someone for honking at a green light is an isolated case…. but even so, a horn is not a tool in America. More often than not it’s an audible flip of the middle finger, a beep to let someone know they’ve just done something really stupid while driving. Or maybe it’s a way to keep from having to get out of the car when picking up a friend. On the rare occasion it’s used to actually avoid an accident.

After spending a month in India, I returned to the States, and was thrown off balance by the absence of horn noise. What a strange feeling — seeing cars but not hearing horns.

Unfortunately sometimes that beep of the horn isn’t an audible middle finger, but an actual warning, or a friendly reminder that the light has turned green. Sadly, the moral of the story for America: be careful who you honk at. [via]