Surprise! Medvedev wins the Russian presidency.

Closing Russian polls this Sunday are indicating that Dmitry Medvedev, long preened to be the next Russian President has won in a landslide victory over the opposing candidates. Putin, in the meantime, is taking up the newly coined role of “Prime Minister”, which, shall we say, is Russian for “Medvedev is my bitch”.

Rather than give you the straight news that you can pick up on msnbc or Reuters, I’ve decided to sum up the election in a series of sarcastic statements. I’m from the Midwest — what can I say — it’s how we get through our cold winters.

  • See? Russia isn’t heavy handed
  • I’ll bet you that Medvedev’s Moscow is going to be a new, fresh leadership, corruption will plummet and Putin will wile his days away in a hunting cabin in the St. Petersburg countryside.
  • At least the KGB isn’t running the entire Russian government!
  • I’ll bet that the new cabinet and Kremlin officials won’t be identical to Putin’s outgoing staff.
  • Hey, as long as Russia’s economy is booming, who gives a rip about who’s in charge?
  • I mean, who isn’t nostalgic for another era of secret police and mass paranoia?

Wellll, crap. I suppose things could be worse. Although Putin’s administration seriously creeped me out more than a few times over the years, Medvedev seems like a pretty nice guy. They let Kosvo declare independence, right?

The real question is how much power Putin will retain in his Prime Minister position. If Medvedev actually steps in and begins to rule the country like a leader, things could be interesting. But if the Putin era continues, we’re probably in for the same old heavy handed Russia of yore.