Bad pizza? Isn’t that an oxymoron? Nope – despite the simplicity of melted cheese on dough, there is indeed such a thing as horrible pizza. I know; I ate some in Kaili, China – a town that has maybe 3 Westerners living in it, in a country that generally doesn’t do bread or cheese. I should have known better. All the ingredients were super-processed and frozen, and it tasted as though I was eating a fake, plastic pizza.
The hilarious list comes from Tom Gates over at MatadorNights, and includes such vivid descriptions as “[the cheese] sweats as if masturbating,” definitely not something I want my pizza to do.
The top five worst pizzas in the world (excluding my pizza in Kaili, which definitely deserves a mention) are served at:
- Pronto Pizza in La Serena, Chile
- Te Pizza el Gallso in Buenos Aires, Argentina
- San Marcos SRL in Florence, Italy
- Suba Galaxy Hotel in Mumbai, India
- Italian Pizza on Koh Chang, Thailand
I’ve eaten plenty of delicious local food in India and Thailand and know better than to order pizza there, but the lure of my favorite comfort food has certainly convinced me to override common sense and order a pizza (or hamburger, or fries, or spaghetti) at restaurants aimed towards foreigners. My advice comes from experience: ignore the evil voices trying to convince you how good the melted cheese with herbs will be, and go for the curry. It’s cheaper, and oftentimes the curry you get back home – especially if you live in BF Alaska – will be along the same lines as the pizza you’ll get in Asia.
[Via iamkohchang.com]