They invented the best way to kiss, so perhaps it’s no surprise.
A poll of more than 350,000 people,
presumably sentient and non-mute, done by the condom maker Durex (uh, conflict of interest?) found that across the
globe people are having sex an average of 103 times per year…but, and this is the BIG BUTT, the French
are leading the world by making amour 137 times. Where are the Americans? Well, if this isn’t ammunition for the
Kerry campaign, I don’t know what is. According to the survey, Americans, who topped the charts in 2000 at 132 times a
year, have since utterly dropped, saying they do it just 111 times. Oh, Bill Clinton, our great
inspiration! Where art thou! So tell me, given this info, what do you say when Kerry looks America in the eye
and asks “are you better off today than you were four years ago?”