Abu Dhabi police find snakes on a plane … and squirrels and parrots

You know that the United Arab Emirates is not to be outdone, right? So, when an 89-year-old lady’s dog gets loose on an American flight, the Middle East has to find a way to trump it. And, you know it was better than a dog and a cat or an angry monkey.

On a flight from Indonesia to the United Arab Emirates, a passenger was reported to have “four snakes, two parrots and a squirrel inside a box” … not to mention other animals! I seriously want to know how the hell this stuff made it onto the plane!

Though the police in Abu Dhabi didn’t reveal the snake species, a newspaper in Dubai hit up a few experts and said they were “reticulated and blood pythons, both non-venomous,” according to the Associated Press.

[photo by goingslo via Flickr]

Ryanair insanity: Captain Morgan suggests mutiny, ordered to Lithuania

If I could make this stuff up, I’d become a novelist. Seriously.

Captain Morgan Fischer, a pilot with Ryanair, decided to try out the type of stunt for which his boss, Michael O’Leary, is famous. And, he learned what happens when you tangle with a master media whore.

Apparently implying that O’Leary is a moron, Fischer took public issue with the company CEO’s notion that a co-pilot could be swapped out with a flight attendant. So, he suggested that O’Leary be replaced with someone from that pool of employees, specifically a “probationary cabin crew member currently earning €13,200 a year.”

I’m starting to believe that O’Leary is thin-skinned.

After taking a potshot at the Ryanair top dog, any hope Captain Morgan had of landing someplace warm was dashed. Rather, according to the Guardian, he “was offered a transfer to Kaunas in Lithuania after Ryanair announced the closure of operations in Marseille, where the pilot is based.”

Keep in mind that Fischer, an American, is “embroiled in a contractual dispute with the airline and, according to Ryanair, did not submit a request for a reassignment destination.” Unlike the other pilots in his situation, he won’t be able to score a new spot in a place like Spain, Portugal or Italy.

There’s a bit of extra significance here, because “Kaunas is considered Siberia for Ryanair pilots.” That only leaves one question: is Ryanair considered Siberia for pilots at other airlines?

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[photo by MarkScottAustinTX via Flickr]

The death of cheap tickets? Four factors to watch!

Are the days of bargain pricing over? There’s a lot of pessimism around this issue. After getting smacked around in 2008 and 2009, this year has been a good one for air carriers, and USA Today reports: “Airfares are on the rise again and unlikely to fall again anytime soon.” Yet, a travel industry recovery comes with advantages, as more people want to fly, and they tend to be willing to stomach higher prices. So, what’s the deal? Are we going to pay more (happily), or will 2011 means continued a continued prowl for cheap tickets, particularly online?

There’s no doubt that the airlines are getting more of our wallets. The U.S. Department of Transportation says that the average domestic ticket surged 13 percent – from $301 to $341 – from the second quarter of 2009 to the second quarter of 2010. That’s the fourth quarter in a row domestic fares rose.

Now, airlines are price-takers, not price-setters. What does this mean? They respond to what consumers are willing to pay … they don’t set the tone for the market (e.g., the way a luxury goods manufacturer would). So, if fares are shooting up year over year, a consumer willingness to pay is certainly implied.

Individual airline fare increases are pretty interesting, with United Airlines up 25 percent on average for is period and discounter Southwest adding 15 percent, on average, to every ticket.

According to USA Today, airfares are climbing for three reasons:1. Tension between capacity and demand: during the recession, airlines cut capacity in an effort to lower operating expenses and keep their margins from getting throttled. Available seat miles plunged more than 12 percent from the fourth quarter of 2007 through the end of 2009, according to the Air Transport Association. But, travelers are coming back. Demand is up, and there isn’t as much supply on hand. That pushes prices higher, even as airlines scramble to add capacity. Yet, available seat miles are up only 1.5 percent over the past year.

Why?

Airlines have been burned by market forces before when adding capacity too quickly. USA Today explains:

Having learned a bitter lesson by adding back too much capacity, airlines are exercising greater caution and restraint this time around. Additionally, bankruptcies and consolidations during the past few years helped contain capacity. Brands like Aloha, EOS, MAXjet, Midwest, Northwest, Skybus and ATA Airlines have disappeared as a result of consolidation or financial calamity and AirTran and Continental Airlines will soon follow suit.

2. Oil won’t go down: oil has been on the rise for a decade, moving from below $20 a barrel to above $90 a barrel, some of which came from the 2008 market shock. Someone has to pay for this of course … and it isn’t necessarily you. That’s the problem with being a price-taker: you can’t pass along all your expected or unexpected price increases to consumers. Now that market pressures are being eased, airlines can start to recapture some of these expenses.

3. The business is changing: according to USA Today, “so called ‘low-cost’ airlines look more like network airlines every day” – as a result of carrier merger activity. And, the increase in maturity comes with higher expenses. For example, these airlines are “rapidly expanding into larger hub airports or building their own”: that cost cash. It has to come from somewhere. It can also come with long-term costs that aren’t always easy to forecast:

Hub airports are often plagued with congestion, resulting in increased flight delays which can wreak havoc on aircraft turnaround times and utilization schedules, further raising operating costs. In recent years, Southwest has expanded into some of the most congested airports in the country, like Boston Logan, New York LaGuardia and Washington Reagan National.

4. There’s more to spend: the fact that there are expense pressures on airlines doesn’t mean that you’re going to have to foot the bill. The oil price factor, for example, has been around for a while, and it wasn’t enough to protect carriers from price declines. The fact that you probably have more discretionary income – or at least less perceived employment risk – means that you aren’t going to wince when you see a higher price. You’ll book with less lead time. It’s easier for you to spend.

What will be interesting to see is the extent to which consumers will be more willing to open their wallets. Even though having more cash comes with a bit of comfort in using it, memories may not be as short following this recession as they were in previous economic downturns. The recession kicked off by the global financial crisis in 2008 hurt. A lot. Unemployment was severe – and continues to be. People may not be as willing to pay big fares as they were in the past. Does this leave more market opportunities for online discounts – such as those offered by online travel agencies? That remains to be seen.

What do you think? Leave a comment to let us know! There’s no crystal ball on this one, and I’d love to get your thoughts.

[photo by atomic taco via Flickr]

SAS becomes first airline to host (same sex) mile high wedding

Think you’re being original when you plan your wedding at sea? Think again. What about getting married midair? A same-sex couple couple from Germany and a lesbian couple from Poland were married in a mile high wedding on an SAS-operated flight from Stockholm to New York, reported MSNBC yesterday.

Aleksandar Mijatovic and Shantu Bhattacherjee of Germany, then for Ewa Tomaszewicz and Gosia Rawińska of Poland tied the knot about 20 minutes after takeoff. Aftewards, guests enjoyed champagne and cake as well as a multi-course wedding dinner (and a traditional first dance). We’re glad there wasn’t turbulence.

More than 350,000 people voted in the social media contest that granted the two couples the in-flight “dream wedding” package.

SAS is owned by the governments of Norway, Denmark and Sweden. These countries were among the world’s first to legalize same sex marriage.

Is it tawdry to wonder if they joined the mile high club to kick off their honeymoons?

Dog bites passenger and flight attendant, forces US Airways landing in Pittsburgh

Mandy is one tough bitch.

On US Airways Flight 522 from Newark to Phoenix, this 12-pound Manchester terrier busted out of its cage. You would have too … if the drugs had worn off. With no more sedatives in her system, Mandy bit a man sitting next to her 89-year-old owner. Then, the dog shot up and down the aisle, also biting a flight attendant, according to the NY Post.

As a result of this mutt’s mayhem, an emergency landing in Pittsburgh became necessary. Mandy and her owner didn’t get back on, though. They were moved to a different flight.

[photo by crossfirecw via Flickr]