More flight cancellations in Ireland and Scotland

Those hoping that yesterday’s closure of airports in Ireland and parts of Scotland would only be a one-day affair were disappointed when the ash cloud from the Icelandic volcano Eyjafjallajökull came back with renewed strength.

Glasgow, Edinburgh, Belfast, Dublin, and numerous smaller airports have closed, and the Civil Aviation Authority says northern England may also be affected. Officials added that airports further south, such as Heathrow and Gatwick, will probably escape for now.

Airplanes are not only forbidden to fly through thick concentrations of volcanic ash, but must also stay more than 60 nautical miles (69 terrestrial miles) away from them.

Officials say the ash will be thickest over Northern Ireland, the Republic of Ireland, and western Scotland all of today.

The last time Eyjafjallajökull erupted was 1821, when it ejected clouds of ash on and off for more than a year.

Newest toy for the insanely wealthy – private jet with patio deck

The lives of the insanely wealthy can’t be easy – you spend $10 million on a jet with a bar, and find out that all your equally rich friends did the same. So you add a bedroom with a king size bed. And they do the same. So, what could you possible order for your jet that nobody else has?

How about a sliding patio deck? Apparently the modification involves little more than converting the freight door of your BAe systems Avro Business Jet (and about $16 million).

Imagine not having to mingle with the commoners on your safari – simply find a good landing spot, open a bottle of champagne, and have your staff slide out your patio. The idea comes from the drawing tables of Design Q – a company with a history of stunning aerospace designs.

According to a BAe spokesperson, the Avro Business Jet is “built like a rhino”, and is capable of unpaved landings and ultra short takeoffs. We’ve emailed them asking for a review plane for a couple of weeks, but nobody has replied yet.

Sadly, the Range Rover pictured behind the plane won’t fit inside it, so you’ll need to hire someone to drive the damn thing anywhere you plan to fly.

The always fabulous Mary Kirby (of the Runway Girl blog) has an even better photo of the deck – which makes me want one even more.

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Space alien bangs on airplane door demanding cockpit access

Every time someone goes cuckoo on a plane, they manage to come up with a new way to amuse me.

Today’s story involves a passenger on a Delta Connection flight from Helena to Sale Lake City who got up out of his seat, and started banging on the cockpit door demanding to be allowed to fly the plane.

According to flight attendants, the 32 year old Las Vegas native claimed to be a space alien, and I can only assume he wanted to fly the plane back to his home planet.

As is customary in these cases, the plane made an emergency landing (at Idaho Falls airport), where local authorities were able to remove the alien, presumably to perform scientific research on him.

Thankfully for passengers, the delay was fairly minor, and nobody was hurt. Flightaware.com has a log posted of the delay and diversion.

Authorities did not release any more specifics about the “alien”, but I’m guessing it wouldn’t be too presumptuous to assume alcohol was (once again) involved.

How to get an upgrade to first or business class (and how not to)

For some reason, the topic of “how to get upgraded” pops up on almost every travel site. And in most cases, the information provided in them is exactly the same as every other similar article. One thing they all have in common is that the tips are a mix of old information, incorrect information and complete lies.

So, we’ve collected some of those tips to explain what does not work – and most importantly – what does work.
What does NOT work?

Here are five tips that just do not work – I hate calling myself an expert, but I’ve flown enough (and been upgraded enough) to know the best ways to get upgraded.

Dress for the occasion

This is the number one tip posted in every “how to be upgraded” article. And it is the one that makes the least sense. Airlines don’t go looking for upgrade eligible passengers based on their looks – because airlines upgrade the majority of their passengers using a computer behind a desk.

When they decide to upgrade Mr. John Smith, they won’t call him up to the desk to check his attire – they check his fare class and his airline status and apply the upgrade.

Most importantly, airlines know that the best dressed people may not be their most important passengers.

I know many travelers that mean a lot to the airline, and usually fly in jeans – they probably spend 25x more on their favorite airline than half the suits on the plane. One of my best friends flies over 500k miles a year and looks like a slob – but at his home airport, almost every airline employee knows him personally , and would never consider skipping him for an upgrade just because of his looks.

Ask friends that work at the airline

This is another bogus one – your friends at the airline have a hard enough time getting their own free tickets and upgrades.

Unless your friend at the airline is the CEO, nobody that works there is going to get you upgraded. They may be able to supply vouchers for free drinks, or the occasional free pass to the lounge, but upgrades are a closely guarded commodity, and they’d much rather use their resources to get one for themselves than hook you up with something that could potentially cost them their job.

Ask a flight attendant

Nope – this is another that just won’t work. First of all, flight attendants are not allowed to upgrade you, and secondly – if there really are open first class seats after the doors are closed, the crew up front will prefer to keep those open to reduce their workload. The only possible exceptions are for broken seats that pose a safety hazard. A non-working TV screen won’t get you an upgrade to first, but a broken seatbelt may. Still, in those cases, the purser will usually check the manifest for a high-level elite, move him or her to first, then move you to that open coach seat.

If you were late because of a competitor, make the airline aware of it

HA! Do you really think an airline will upgrade you to first class, just because your connecting flight was late? The fact that you had a flight on a competitor means you are not 100% loyal, and no amount of upgrading is going to fix that. The theory is that the airline will treat you better, as a way of winning your business.

Well, this may work if you are a captain of industry, and determine the airline that your entire company uses. But trust me, if you are that important, the airlines have better (and far more efficient) ways of getting your attention.

Book with a travel agent

This tip usually comes from other travel agents, because they still feel that they are immensely important in the world of air travel. The idea behind this is that travel agents can add important information to your profile, letting the airline know that you are some sort of bigshot.

Problem is, that if you really are that important, you’ll usually fly frequently enough to get upgrades based on your status, and that a lot the information provided won’t be read by a human 99.9% of the time. The additional information added to your profile by a travel agent is referred to as “OSI – Other Significant Information”, and it really only worked back in the early good old days when a lot of ticketing was still done by hand. Nowadays, computers do all the work, computers pick your seats and computers know your elite status. Today, OSI information is mainly used when something goes wrong, and your travel agent contacts the airline for refunds or other changes – because that is the only time a human will actually read the information.

If you really are important (or potentially important) to the airline, your corporate travel agent can contact the airline and talk to their sales department asking what they can do for you. Just don’t consider this unless you are planning to move a million dollars or more of travel their way. In other words – that main street travel agent you usually use to book your once-a-year vacation won’t be able to do a damn thing for you.

What does work?

There are things that do work – and every now and then you may find yourself being moved up front.

Use the airport check-in kiosk

Even if you checked in online, always make a stop at the check-in kiosk and see whether it offers an upgrade. This usually only works up to two hours before departure, on some airlines, I’ve been offered upgrades for as little as $50. These upgrades are usually offered to anyone – regardless of airline status, as a way to make some more money before handing out free (operational) upgrades.

Cross your fingers and hope for the best

Operational upgrades are what an airline will use to move people around – if they have 100 coach seats, and 120 passengers, 20 of those passengers may find themselves being moved up front. This is cheaper for the airline than bumping them, and airlines will always try to fill a plane to capacity.

There is no clear set of rules for how you’ll get an operational upgrade, but you’ll understand that an airline will pick their own elite members first, followed by elite members from fellow airlines in the same alliance.

If you have no status and you are on a highly discounted ticket, the only way you’ll be picked is if you are really, really lucky. Yes – asking at the desk could work, but you are going to need the charm skills of James Bond to get their attention.

Some simple rules to remember – always make sure you are in the gate area, because those passengers being upgraded will need to pick up their new boarding card as quickly as possible. The process of moving 50 passengers around is a lot of work for the agents – so go easy on them, and remember that a nice smile is always a good tool.

Buy an upgrade

Most airlines allow their frequent fliers to purchase upgrades – others upgrade all their elite passengers when available. Unfortunately, most of these programs are only open to frequent fliers, so before you can start buying $30 upgrades, you’ll need to check out the next tip…

Fly a lot

I’m sure this will disappoint you, but flying a couple of times a year isn’t going to get you elite status any time soon. If you want to be considered important to the airline, you’ll need to fly a lot. One you reach 50k miles a year, you’ll finally hit mid-tier elite level, and could start seeing the occasional upgrade. Make sure you always enroll in bonus promotions offered by the airline, and start learning the tricks of becoming a frequent flier. If elite status means a lot to you, check out a “mileage run” – a series of flights with no other purpose than increasing the miles in your account.

Learn how to get bumped (and upgraded)

Airlines overbook their flights – they have this down to an art, thanks to their many years of understanding passenger dynamics. Sadly for the airlines, there are days that everyone just shows up on time, forcing them to bump passengers and rebook them on a different flight.

If you see desperation in the eyes of the gate agent, or they keep raising the price they are willing to pay, check with them whether they’d be willing to rebook you and upgrade you. There is something pretty cool about snagging $400 and a free upgrade, all for just arriving home a couple of hours later than scheduled.

Just remember – if you want to volunteer, make sure you don’t have any checked bags or they may try to find someone else.

There is no such thing as a free lunch

If you really want/need/desire to be up front, pay for it. Contrary to popular belief, there are people that actually pay for the luxury of a first class seat. Yes – it’ll cost you, but if you do some research, you’ll learn the tricks of the trade.

Find discounted F tickets, find airlines that have an upgrade policy for full fare coach tickets, or ask frequent flying friends whether they’d be willing to sell you an upgrade. Just don’t expect to find any bargains – most frequent fliers cherish their miles, and will ask fair market value for anything they sell you.

Do not fall for tricks on Ebay or other auction sites – paid upgrade vouchers can be fraudulent, and you wouldn’t be the first person to show up at the airport and have your ticket confiscated for fraud.

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The ten safest African airlines

Airlines based in Africa have a bad reputation. When the European Union published a blacklist of airlines banned from flying in the EU, it included 111 carriers from 13 African countries. Carriers got on the list for having out-of-date planes (often Soviet-era “flying coffins”), poor government oversight in their own country, and not fixing problems pointed out by EU inspectors. You can read more about the criteria and the list here.

Airlines from other countries got on the list too, including a large number from Indonesia, Kyrgyzstan, Kazakhstan, and the Philippines, but the preponderance of Africa-based carriers was noticeable.

In response, Flight Africa blog has published a list of the ten safest African airlines based on “attainment of IOSA Certification, number of accidents per flight and fatalities per passenger kilometres.” That last phrase actually made me wince. Here’s the list:

1. South African Airways
2. Ethiopian Airlines
3. Air Botswana
4. Air Mauritius
5. Air Seychelles
6. Kenya Airways
7. TunisAir
8. Royal Air Maroc
9. Nigerian Eagle Airlines
10. Air Zimbabwe

This is an encouraging list because it includes carriers from every region of Africa and some of the most popular tourist destinations. One common mantra of adventure travelers is that they’re helping the local economy with the money they spend. This list proves they can start helping before their adventure even starts.