Forget about harmless Facebook posts – a surefire way to get yourself in trouble is to post photos of yourself in a “questionable” position on a site dedicated to “flight attendants in stockings”.
According to UK tabloid “The Sun”, the photos were posted on a “hardcore porn site”, and were accidentally leaked.
In reality, the photos appear to have been collected over the years by fans of “flight attendants in stockings”, and set to be viewable in public by mistake. One common source for photos like this is poorly configured social media sites.
People regularly leave their privacy settings wide open without realizing, allowing strangers to snag any photos that were not intended for public use. And of course, once out in the public, photos like this will take on a life of their own.
Some of the photos are of British Airways flight crew members, others are from various international airlines. The timing is especially ironic, as BA flight attendants are in the middle of a vote over a planned strike. I’m sure that the airline won’t mind having to deal with a fewer striking crew members once they find out who is in the photos.
Big Brother may not be watching, but he’ll be listening. A new recommendation by the National Transportation Safety Board would involve the use of “black box” recordings to monitor the conversations that occur among pilots in the cockpit. This comes on the heels of several high-profile incidents in which pilots were distracted. According to a report by USA Today, this would be the first time that workplace monitoring would penetrate the cockpit. Of course, pilots’ unions oppose the measure, calling it intrusive (isn’t that the point?).
Until now, the black boxes have only been used after accidents. This new step, if executed properly, could make the recordings useful in preventing them – well, that’s the plan, at least.
So far, this is only a recommendation from the NTSB to the FAA (the former has no regulatory authority). The NTSB’s Robert Sumwalt claims, “This is not a case of Big Brother spying on pilots.” Well, it really does seem like one, but it isn’t a hard measure to defend in this climate. It might be easier to see the pilots’ point of view if their objections weren’t centered on pilot privacy. Workplace privacy is a thing of the past for everyone.
Mike Michaelis, chairman of safety at the Aillied Pilots Assocation, the union over at American Airlines, told USA Today, “It’s the wrong way to go safety-wise.” What I don’t understand is how that can be true.
How upset would you be if you lost your laptop computer? How upset do you think your boss would be if your company lost not one, but one thousand of them?
The loss of 1000 computers within a single government department is apparently not much of an issue, because that is how many went missing at the Department of Homeland Security in 2008.
The department is in charge of the TSA as well as Customs and Border Protection and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (the old INS).
During an audit, a total of 1,975 pieces of equipment could not be located, at a total valuation of $7.5 million. Included in the list of missing items are 235 night vision goggles, a $116,000 truck and 13 other vehicles.
The departments claim the number of missing items is perfectly normal and that they are “well within loss rates deemed acceptable by industry for asset accounting“. I’ll be sure to use that excuse next time I lose something.
Remember, these losses are on top of the thousands of items that mysteriously go missing from luggage of passengers entrusting their belongings to the TSA. Shipping your luggage suddenly doesn’t seem like such a bad idea. US Senator Tom Coburn has more about the embarrassing losses on his personal site.
Emotional support service animals are service animals that provide emotional support to an individual with a mental health related disability. On most airlines, documentation must be provided 48 hours before departure to permit emotional support animals to travel in the passenger cabin.
I’m all for emotional support animals on board when it comes to calming passengers who suffer from anxiety. What I have a problem with are passengers who bring their pets on board and then claim they are service animals in order to keep them on their laps. Don’t get me wrong, I like animals. I really do. I have one at home. His name is Gatsby and he’s a seventeen pound Maine Coon cat. But not everyone on the airplane gets excited about sitting next to the passenger who has a dog wearing a dress on their lap. A lot of people are allergic to pet dander, so it’s my job to remind passengers that their pets must remain inside their carriers during a flight. The only pets that are allowed out of the carrier (on my airline) are celebrity animals (for real) and service animals. That’s it. Case closed.
While doing a little research, I came across an interesting bit of information. “Did you know there are horses that are considered emotional support service animals?” I asked my mother who is also a flight attendant for the same airline I work for.
“Not horses. Small ponies,” she corrected. Before I could even comment, my mother who was now laughing said, “Hey, I have an idea. Why don’t you call a couple airlines and tell them you’d like to bring a small horse on board in main cabin. See what they say.”
Yeah. Okay. Maybe later.
Recently during boarding on a flight from San Francisco to Chicago, I walked into the first class cabin and spotted something I could not believe. On top of a tiny petite woman sat the largest emotional support lap dog I’d ever seen. Shaggy and well-behaved, he was almost as big as the owner who did not have the proper paperwork to prove that the dog was in fact allowed out of its carrier. Oh sure the dog was cute, but half the cabin claimed to be allergic to it and no one wanted to sit by it. Finally, when it became apparent that we weren’t going to depart until the situation had been sorted out, a man reluctantly agreed to sit by the oversized, but very sweet, dog. Eventually an agent appeared who confirmed he had seen the dog’s paperwork, and then quickly he shut the aircraft door and waved goodbye.
Later on during the flight I pulled the beverage cart to the front of the cabin, and as I passed by a passenger, an adult man sitting in an aisle seat, I couldn’t help but notice a very large sock monkey he cradled in his arms. O-kay, I thought to myself. Then I wondered if maybe, just maybe, it was an emotional support sock monkey. Hey, ya never know. Finally when I got to his seat, I smiled, asked what he’d like to drink, and then tried to make small talk.
“Cute monkey,” I said, because it was kind of cute. It wore a flannel shirt, corduroy pants, and wire rim glasses just like the passenger. “He looks like you.”
The passenger held up the monkey and giggled, but it wasn’t a crazy giggle, not a I’m-a-grown-man-cradling-a-sock-monkey kind of giggle. It was just a regular old laugh. Still, I wanted to know more, so I asked, “Did you make his clothes?”
“She did,” he said, nodding to the woman sitting in the middle seat who was now looking at me and smiling brightly.
Back in the galley I told the crew about the man with the monkey, and as I did so I cradled my own imaginary monkey that I unknowingly began to pet. This alerted a few of my coworkers who exclaimed, “He’s petting it!”
“No!” I dropped the imaginary monkey on the floor.
“Just tell me he’s not spanking it?” asked the joker in our group.
I laughed. “He’s just holding it.”
“That’s okay,” said my colleague who then went on to tell me about the time she asked a passenger to put her cat back in its carrier, only to find out that the cat wasn’t real. It was stuffed. “It was breathing,” she exclaimed. “I kid you not, its little tummy went up and down.”
As we pulled the pickup cart back up the aisle, I noticed the passenger with the monkey was not in his seat. I assumed he’d gone to the lav. What I found in his place surprised me. A big yellow banana sat straight up in the chair, right beside the monkey, and both had been buckled in tightly, which was good, I guess, considering the fasten seat belt sign was on.
When I told I told a friend about the monkey man, he seemed intrigued. Then he asked, “Do ya think if I dress it up I can bring an emotional support case of beer on board my next flight?”
Uh, no.
Of course just when you think you’ve seen it all, something else happens. Take for instance the time I came upon a passenger and his fluffy little dog standing in line to use the lavatory. “Sir, I’m sorry, but your dog can’t be out of its carrier,” I told him.
“He has to use the bathroom.” It was said matter of fact.
“Oh. Okay,” I said, and then slowly walked away thinking, bathroom? How?
“Oh my goodness, how cute!” I heard a coworker shriek. I spun around and saw my coworker down on one knee petting the dog. When she stood up, she said, “He’s so adorable, but he needs to be in a carrier.”
Again, matter of fact, the passenger said, “He has to use the bathroom.”
“Oh. Okay,” she said, as if what he had just said were the most logical thing in the world. The two of us locked eyes and didn’t say a word.
When the man and the dog entered the lavatory, we, the crew, discussed the situation. None of us had a clue as to how the tiny dog could possibly use the toilet, so we weren’t exactly sure what to do. Finally I decided to take matters into my own hands and just ask. I was curious. We all were. When the two suspects exited the lav and returned to their seats, I followed. Turns out the passenger placed a special “wee wee” pad on the lavatory floor that he discarded after it was used.
“Oh. Okay,” I said, as if it all made perfect sense. Immediately I returned to the galley to report what I had learned and to discuss if that was…well…even allowed on board. I mean…well….forget it…just remember this story next time you go into the lav without your shoes on.
Now say hello to Shebang, a celebrity dog I’ve never met…
Crazy stuff happens when you lock people up in a metal tube with poor air circulation. Some freak out, others may start dancing. We’ve collected some of the funniest video clips from on board.
Riverdance on a plane? You bet! And I found it just as annoying as on the ground. ” Crazy lady freaks out” is about as creative as I could get with this one. She’s either loopy, or she managed to pop a couple of “special cookies” in the bathroom before landing.
Not a real clip, but this sketch from “How to irritate people” is a must watch (unless you are a pilot looking for fun things to do to us passengers).
This rapping Southwest Airlines flight attendant is brilliant – we’ve featured him before here on Gadling, but in case you missed him, this is a must watch.
“I’m going to be die – shoot me” – This is a pretty sad clip, but somehow I couldn’t help laughing. Poor guy is clearly freaking out.
“Tazed and confused in Vegas” would make a good name for a movie. But it is also what happened to this big guy. Being Tazed can’t be fun – but being Tazed on a plane must really suck.
This is what can happen when you offer live video programming. It is why airlines never pick “Final Destination” as the in-flight movie.
And finally, have you ever wondered what zero-G vomit looks like? Wonder no more! (Strong stomach required!)