What would you do if you saw an crocodile walking down an airplane aisle? Perhaps you’d rub your eyes, shake your head to clear any cobwebs, clean your glasses– if you wore them and ask, “Is that a crocodile?”
Wouldn’t a crocodile be about the last thing you’d expect to see walking down an airplane aisle? Particularly if it were pushing the drink cart? Just kidding about the drink cart, but there was a crocodile.
The crocodile created an uproar on an EgyptAir flight last Friday when it was seen peppering its trip down the aisle with forays underneath the seats. The flight, on its way to Cairo from Abu Dhabi, was not the most relaxing ride for the thirty passengers who did what they could to avoid the reptilian stowaway.
I say stowaway because no one claimed responsibility for the crocodile’s presence on board. Maybe the crocodile was looking for a free ride to the Giza Zoo. That’s where it ended up once the crew caught it and the plane landed.
The crocodile couldn’t really push a drink cart, by the way, even if it stood on its hind legs. At 30 centimeters, it wasn’t big enough.
Whoever was responsible for that crocodile is probably wondering how the heck to get it out of that zoo. [iafrica.com] Photo by Sias van Schalkwyk.
Thanks to Gadling reader Liezelfr for passing along this crazy story gem.
Wanna know the best way to change clothes on an airplane? I bet you do. I’ll get to that in a moment. (Or you can just scroll down to the bottom of this post.) Now that I’ve got your attention…
Have you ever seen a uniformed crew member sitting on the jumpseat and flipping through magazines? Or even worse, watching a movie? Don’t be too quick to judge. There’s a very good chance that lazy flight attendant is a nonrev passenger, not a working crew member. Looks can be deceiving.
Standby – waiting for an open seat on a flight that one is not ticketed on, whether it’s an airline employee or a passenger who is ticketed on a specific flight who has decided to depart at a different time.
Nonreving – (non-revenue passenger) flying standby on an airline employee’s travel passes. Nonrev’s are always at the the bottom of the standby list
Commuting – When an airline employee nonrevs from the city he/she lives to a city he/she is based. Because I commute to New York (where I’m based) from Los Angeles (where I live), I’m an LA commuter.
Deadheading – traveling on company time to cover a trip departing out of a city different from where one is based. This usually happens on a reserve month when a base is short flight attendants. Flight attendant gets paid to deadhead, but aren’t officially working the flight. Deadheaders go to the top of the standby list surpassing ticketed standbys.
Most nonrevs travel in uniform in order to bypass the line at security and bring liquids on board. Others wear their uniform because they’ve just finished a sequence and didn’t have time to change clothes because they had to sprint across the terminal to catch a commuter flight home. While some wear their uniforms because they’re actually going to work as soon as they step off the airplane.
Once while deadheading back to base in uniform, the agent issued me an aisle seat in the front row of coach. I happened to be the last passenger to board. As soon as I sat down a man two rows back started in with, “Why does she get to sit in that seat! I wanted that seat! She’s an airline employee – that’s not right!”
Seconds later the agent asked me to switch seats with the complainer. I sighed, grabbed my belongings, and switched seats. As soon as I settled into the second seat I heard it all over again. Another passenger wanted my seat, a seat they deserved, not me. A flight attendant working the flight leaned over and quietly asked me if I’d be willing to switch. I didn’t have much. I was in uniform. And so I played musical chairs again.
On a different flight a passenger turned around, glared at me, a lowly uniformed crew member sitting in a passenger seat, and yelled, “This airline sucks!” after the Captain made an announcement that the flight had been canceled.
It was hard not reacting to that.
The first thing nonreving airline employees do the morning of their trip is check the passenger load. This takes place seconds after rolling out of bed while the coffee is still brewing. Airline employees will continue to check the standby list constantly throughout the day right up until departure time. Of course passenger loads determine the outfit.
Here I am doing what I always do before a flight, while trying to nonrev from Chicago to New York last week – #88 on the standby list.
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My nonreving outfit of choice consists of dark blue jeans and a blouse or dressy shirt when the flights are open and I know there won’t be a problem getting a seat in coach. Needless to say, it’s been awhile since I’ve worn jeans on the airplane. What I usually end up sporting is a nice pair of trouser pants with the same kind of shirt mentioned above – just in case the only seat available is located in first class – or a jumpseat.
At my airline jeans, shorts, T-shirts, and flip-flops are not allowed to be worn by nonrevs occupying jumpseats or premium cabins. This explains why nonrevs are some of the best dressed passengers on board the airplane and why I can spot a nonrev a mile away.
Even my husband has an official nonrev outfit; khaki pants, a button down shirt, and brown boots. The funny thing about this is he actually refers to it as his “nonrev outfit” even when he’s not traveling on my passes.
Recently on a flight to Dallas, Murphy, a commuting flight attendant based in New York, boarded the airplane dressed in navy blue polyester. I couldn’t help but notice a bundle of clothes tucked under her arm and the sneakers peaking out from under her pants. Quickly she threw her crew bag into the overhead bin and made a beeline for the lav. A few minutes later she exited the bathroom wearing a smile and looking a whole lot more comfortable.
“What’s the secret to changing clothes in the lav?” I asked Murphy as I served her a beverage during the flight. “Like how do you do it so quickly in such a contaminated confined space?” Murphy shared the following tips…
HOW TO CHANGE CLOTHES ON AN AIRPLANE:
Have your clothes ready to go. That means get them out of your bag before you board the flight.
Change into the shoes you want to wear before you get on the airplane. That way you’ll have less to carry and you won’t be tripping all over yourself in the lav.
Wear (uniform) pants instead of a dress. They’re easier to change out of when you’re in a hurry.
Take advantage of the baby changing table. Use it to hold your clothes. No changing table? Line the sink with paper towels.
Make sure to check out my next Galley Gossip post about a new website for airline employees (and retirees). Until then, here are a few other posts involving the joys of nonrev travel:
An estimated 10 people were hospitalized when a Bangkok Airways flight landed in rainy conditions, skidded off the runway and crashed into the air traffic control tower. The pilot was killed in the accident, which occurred at Samui airport in Thailand. Sixty-eight passengers were aboard the ATR72 twin-turboprop plane — like the one in the image to the right — along with two pilots and two crew members. Four foreign tourists – two British, two Dutch – were among the injured.
The air traffic control tower hit in the crash was not in use, according to a report by MSNBC. Nonetheless, Samui airport was closed, with at least one Thai Airways flight canceled.
UPDATE: Only seven people were hospitalized as a result of this accident, one of whom is the co-pilot. Other than the unfortunate death of the pilot (Chartchai Pansuwan), the most severe injury was broken legs.
Though the airline is not speculating on the cause of the crash, they say wind and rain may have played a part, and that the pilot had 19 years of experience. See the video below for some footage of the incident.
UPDATE 2: According to one of the passengers, Mirella Gastaldi, upon landing, the plane “was going too fast, it was not normal, it didn’t brake. It was going too fast and a bit to the side. It all happened so fast, I realized we had crashed because I had two seats on top of me.“
Chicago O’Hare, my home airport, has been ranked by Travel + Leisure as the 2nd worst airport in the country for its delayed flight percentages. But despite flying to and from the airport fairly often, I’ve never experienced the major delays it’s best-known for. Maybe the airport gods know that, as someone who is terrified of flying, I’m already under enough stress and just couldn’t take the added panic of a delayed flight. Or maybe, I’ve just been lucky so far. Either way, I was surprised to find O’Hare ranked quite so high on the bad list (and to learn that it was #1 in 2008). Some of the other findings were surprising as well, and some others – well, not so much.
Salt Lake City came in at the number one spot on the “best airports” list, based on a 12% delayed flight percentage. Portland, Minneapolis St. Paul, Los Angeles (LAX), Detroit and Orlando also made the top ten list. The losers included Miami, Dallas Fort Worth, Atlanta and Philadelphia. New York was doubly shamed with both JFK and Laguardia on the list. Taking the top spot was Newark with a whopping 30% of its flights delayed.
The magazine also ranked the best and worst airlines in America, based purely on on-time arrival rates. Comair and American were among the worst, with Hawaiian and Southwest showing the smallest percentage of delays.
The New York Times recently sat down with Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary for what turned out to be a brutally honest interview.
The essence of his interview was simple – Ryanair will get you to your destination for a very low fare, on time, with few cancellations and few lost bags. Mr O’Leary was very clear about providing anything other than the most basic of services – anyone expecting or demanding more can “go away”.
The airline never grants refunds, has a zero tolerance policy for excess baggage and does not allow for rebookings or changes to unused tickets, no matter what kind of sob story you tell them.
The result of all this thriftiness is quite amazing – the average ticket price on their entire route network is just $56. In his interview, Mr. O’Leary really does paint an honest picture of how his airline operates – from a ban on highlighters and post-it notes in his offices, to his total lack of patience for email. The entire airline runs like a well oiled machine, albeit one very basic machine.
When Mr. O’Leary issues press releases about paid bathrooms, or a fat tax, everyone laughs. But at the same time, they are very well aware that he could be serious. When Ryanair speaks – the press listens, because at the end of the day, Ryanair is one of just a handful of airlines still making money.
Sure, there are always going to be people who’d rather be shot than step on board one of his planes (I’m one of them). But given his success in recent years, there are probably more people who’d rather pay $10 for a plane ticket and deal with the lack of stuff frequent fliers think they can’t do without.
If anything, the biggest thing to come out of Ryanair is forcing the European legacy carriers to pay close attention, and copy parts of his business model. It is quite obvious that behind the rude and obnoxious exterior lies a brilliant businessman who is changing the aviation world one “go away” at a time.