German airline to offer smoking, not non

by Tom Johansmeyer on

How did this one get by me? An all-smoking airline!

Alexander Schoppmann is on the prowl for startup capital for an all-smoking airline. Once he gets the cash, he’s going to lease two Boeing 747s and run a route from Dusseldorf to Tokyo. This doesn’t do much for the few Americans who still prefer to light up, but if the Schoppmann can squeeze a profit out of this (which conventional airlines aren’t even doing), maybe he’ll export the idea.

If all goes according to plan, Smintair (for “Smoker’s International Airways) will go wheels up for the first time next year. Each plane will accommodate 138 passengers, with no economy seating. You’ll have to pay to play on Smintair, but if you have a serious tobacco jones, it could be worth the trouble – especially if you’re stuck on a plane from Germany to Japan.

Schoppmann is looking to use the upper deck as a passengers’ lounge, rather than cramming it with more seats. Smintair will be an upscale affair, so the poor and the nic-free should book their travel arrangements elsewhere. Flight attendants and pilots who aren’t interested in a smoke-filled workplace, the company says, need not apply.

The price tag is hefty: approximately $56 million. Part of this will pay for an older approach to pushing fresh air through the cabin – instead of the cheaper systems being used now. Even with the barriers, Schoppmann is optimistic. I guess the former stockbroker has some solid connections.

Cigar smokers: if you’re worried about discrimination, the hopeful founder remembers fondly the days when Lufthansa would serve a selection of Montecristos in flight.

[Via Blackbook]

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United reduces cost of mileage tickets

by Grant Martin on

Amidst all of the increased fees and reduced services plaguing the airlines these days, it’s refreshing to actually see a change that goes the customers’ way. Albeit temporarily, United just reduced the number of frequent flyer miles necessary to book a free ticket on the airline. Reductions range from 20% to almost 30%. Domestic travel, for example, has been reduced from 25K miles to 20K miles, while a ticket from the US to Australia ihas been reduced from 80K to 64K. Europe, on the other hand, which normally costs 50-60K on other airlines costs 44K on United. Not a bad deal.

You can see the price reductions and book directly at United.com for travel between August 18th and November 18th.

Why the sudden generosity? Well, demand is way down this year, and with the end of tourist season bringing further reductions, airlines are going to have a ton of extra space on their airplanes. It’s better to have a seat booked with a fee-paying passenger than an empty seat altogether, right?

Enter to win a free trip from Seattle to Reykjavik on Icelandair

by Katie Hammel on

Iceland. Just the name makes you shiver. But despite its frigid moniker, Iceland is surprisingly warm, especially during the long days of summer. With almost 24 hours of daylight, it’s the perfect time to explore the country’s other-worldly landscape. Watch geysers erupt, scamper over moss-covered former lava fields, stand in the shadows of plunging waterfalls, hike through rifts in the earth’s crust, gorge on smoked puffin or grilled whale, and cavort with the short, stocky Icelandic horses that seem to be everywhere you look.

Now, thanks to new non-stop service from Seattle to Reykjavik starting July 23, it’s even easy for west-coasters to travel to Iceland just in time for summer. And one lucky winner will get to go for free.

To celebrate the inauguration of its new non-stop route, Icelandair is sending one winner and a guest on board the very first flight. They’ll fly from Seattle to Reykjavik and then on to Copenhagen, where they’ll spend one night and enjoy a canal boat sightseeing tour. From there they’ll take an overnight cruise to Oslo, spending two nights in town before they fly back to Reykjavik. After three nights in Iceland, the winner will fly back direct to Seattle on July 31st.

To enter, just visit the website and fill out a form. Winners must be residents of the US or Canada and available to travel from July 23-31. Winners will be announced tomorrow, July 17th.

Oh and today’s the last day to enter, so what are you waiting for? Good luck!

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Galley Gossip: How flying standby can make you religious

by Heather Poole on
Dear Heather,
I read your post about flight attendant buddy passes and I think you forgot the best part about flying standby. You become a much more religious person. Why? Because when you fly standby you tend to pray a lot…
It all starts when your alarm goes off at 2 AM. “Please God let the loads on the aircraft be light and let me be the first on the stand by list.”
Then when you get to the airport and see your name on the list, you start the second round of prayers. “Please Lord let me make this flight, please!” Most likely you won’t make the flight, but you will get rolled over to the next flight, and so on and so on until you FINALLY hear what you’ve been wanting to hear all day…your name called! YES!
By this time it’s usually late in the afternoon. You’re given a boarding card and immediately start praying again, “Thank you Lord Jesus for this boarding pass.” You make a mental note to go to church more often!
While opening and shutting several full overhead bins, the flight attendant makes the PA that everyone must take a seat so the flight can depart on time. You begin to panic and pray for an empty bin, because as a non-rev you were the very last person to board and the flight is full, full, full. After you find a bin, and thank God, you take your seat, a middle seat located in the last row, and though you should be happy and jumping for joy, you’re not out of the woods just yet! In fact, as an experienced non-rev standby passenger you will not stop praying until that cabin door is closed!

Oh no! Now the gate agent is walking down the aircraft aisle. The praying and sweating are going into overdrive. You try not to make eye contact with the agent as he/she walks down the aisle. The praying continues at a furious pace, “Please don’t let the gate agent come to me, please God, please!”

Your heart is racing faster and faster as the agent gets closer and closer and that’s when it happens. He/she stops, looks you square in the eye, and says, “we have a revenue passenger that needs your seat. Please collect your belongings and follow me.”

Then it’s on to the next gate where the praying and waiting start all over again!

Mark, an optometrist / wannabe flight attendant

Dear Mark,

Holy Moley, Mark, I will pray that you never have to non-rev travel again! But you’re right, non-reving is a stressful experience, one I dread each and every month, which is why I almost always buy a seat whenever I travel with my three-year-old son.

Whenever people find out I’m a flight attendant and start hinting around for a buddy pass, I just shake my head and think to myself, are you crazy! Because seriously, it’s just crazy to non-rev when you can buy a ticket for cheap on-line for cheap these days. Especially if you prefer to actually arrive at your destination, not spend the entire day rolling from gate to gate.

And now a question for you, Mister Wannabe Flight Attendant, why, oh why, would you want to be a flight attendant? I know you’re crazy because you’ve been non-reving – by choice, but just how crazy are you? Please tell me this flight attendant thing is just a fantasy and not something you’d actually do, not when you’ve got a fantastic job already. I mean do you really want to wear the pin striped apron and serve chocolate chip cookies at 30,000 feet? Because honestly, I wouldn’t mind wearing the white robe with the thesescope while asking people to read the last line.

Hmmm…are you thinking what I’m thinking? Maybe, just maybe, we should get together (during Halloween of course!) and swap uniforms. Call me.

Thanks for the letter. I couldn’t have explained non-rev travel better.

Happy Travels,

Heather, a wannabe doctor who will be praying to get on a flight next week

Photo courtesy of (meditation) Joe Shlabotnik, (doctor) Curt

AirTran provides obvious internet etiquette tips

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Is AirTran the pot or the kettle? It’s hard to say, but the airline that has done a great job of making passengers uncomfortable – think of it as the Greyhound experience of the sky – is now telling passengers how they can keep from making their fellow fliers unhappy. It’s like giving a stern warning and nothing more to a bank robber caught in the act: it won’t do much.

Nonetheless, now that AirTran has wireless internet service on all its flights, the airline has issued Internetiquette: A Guide to Keeping Everyone in Line While They’re Online. This list of suggestions will be found in every seatback pocket, right with the emergency card.

This isn’t exactly a new concern. The debate over in-flight porn may be behind us but is not forgotten. And, even non-sexual computer interaction may involve some actions that disturb other passengers – from muttering to yourself to shuffling papers around.

So, what does AirTran recommend? Find out after the jump.

1. Flight attendants are not tech support (no shit)

2. Online investors shouldn’t give advice to other passengers (would be nice even on flights without wi-fi)

3. Be aware of anyone who could be reading over your shoulder

4. Don’t offer to land the plane for the flight crew

Yeah, not much to work with … you can check out the list here.