“God” overheard by TSA agents telling someone “the plane will go down”

by Scott Carmichael on

A U.S. Airways flight out of Lynchburg turned into U.S. Scareways last Sunday when a TSA agent overheard a man making a phone call telling someone that the “Charlotte flight woudn’t make it – that it would fall out of the sky”.

When a TSA agent approched the man, he broke his phone in half, preventing anyone from retrieving the last dialed number.

Upon questioning, he told police officers that he was God, but that he could not demonstrate any of his powers “because his back was hurting”.

Needless to say, this crackpot was taken into custody for a mental health checkup.

The plane in question was ordered back to the gate where a bomb dog checked it out. After a three hour delay, the flight was cleared for takeoff.

Easyjet’s jilted in the sky

by Tom Johansmeyer on

easyJet was ready to help passengers walk down the aisle while walking down the aisle. The airlines plans to conduct mile-high marriage ceremonies, however, were stymied by local British bureaucrats who said they couldn’t give the airline permission. Under this unusual program, pilots – like captains at sea – would have facilitated the swapping of vows.

The relevant officials in Luton, which is north of London, has refused to extend these powers to the airline, claiming that it’s not permitted under the law. The airline, of course, is “very disappointed,” as are the imaginary masses ready to run the security gauntlet to seal the deal.

Afraid of flying? One man’s cure: flying non-stop for a month

by Alison Brick on

Some fight it with sleeping pills. Others just opt to stay home. But Mark Malkoff is choosing to confront his fear of flying head-on–by flying for a month straight.

Mark started his journey yesterday, traveling from La Guardia to Atlanta to San Francisco back to Atlanta. No rest for the weary; he’ll continually be on a plane for the next month, only getting off to change to a different plane at an airport.

Forget a fear of flying, I can think of a dozen things about living on a plane that would surely scare me more.

Mark’s flying AirTran the whole way. Considering he’s averaging five or six flights per day for a month, it makes you wonder whether he has an AirTran sponsorship. Two reasons: the clearance to stay on a plane when a cleaning crew is doing its thing, and the cost. I mean, their tickets may be cheaper than those of other airlines, but they’re not exactly cheap enough to fly nonstop for a month.

Not a stranger to stunt-pulling, Mark is a comedian/writer/filmmaker who’s already known for living in an Ikea store for a week and consecutively visiting all of the Starbucks in Manhattan (all 171 of ’em). You can follow his journeys through videos and Tweets he’s posting online.

[Thanks, NYPost.com]

10 passengers we love to hate: Day 2 — bringing a warm meal on the plane

by Scott Carmichael on

Today’s annoying passenger is a tough one – I’d love to hate them more, but their annoying behavior is not entirely their fault.

Still, passengers who think it is cool to bring a huge bag of warm food on the plane are high on my list of airplane pet peeves.

Sure, they are probably hungry, and they need to bring their own food, as the airline won’t be feeding anyone. But many of these passengers bring really smelly food.

I’ve sat next to someone on a 6am flight who thought it would be fine to bring a massive breakfast platter on board. He had the works – eggs, bacon, sausages, hashbrowns and breads. The whole plane smelled of his breakfast, and many of the passengers were clearly annoyed.

Is it that hard to find a less smelly snack that early in the morning? International flights are worse, especially when the airport sells a large variety of really smelly foods. Next time you are waiting in line to order a meal for your flight, first check your watch to see if you have enough time to eat before you board, if not, then order something that is least likely to annoy your fellow passengers. If that is not an option, then you’d better have enough cash to order food for the entire plane.

Read about ALL the passengers we love to hate.

Ten of the world’s worst luggage incidents

by Scott Carmichael on

Has an airline ever lost your bags? Did you arrive abroad, only to discover that your bags were sent in the opposite direction?

Quit your whining, things could be worse. Much, much worse.

In this lineup of major luggage mishaps, we’ll cover everything from luggage left out in the rain to bags burned to a crisp. We’ll even throw in an incident involving the tossed ashes of a passengers mother.

So, next time your bags get delayed by a couple of hours, just be grateful that the airline did not totally destroy your bag, or deliver a casket instead of your clothes.

Click here for our lineup of the world’s 10 worst luggage incidents

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