Galley Gossip: Slam clickers, Bob the singing pilot & Laughlin, Nevada

by Heather Poole on

So what do slam clickers, Laughlin, Nevada, and Bob the singing pilot all have in common? Not much. But I’m determined to link them all together in order to show you a photo gallery from my husband’s recent trip to Laughlin, Nevada and a funny video of Bob, the singing pilot, at a nightclub in Paris on a layover (at the end of this post). I can do this. Really I can.

A few months ago when my husband told me he wanted to ride his Harley to Laughlin for some biker thing called River Run, I said, “Okay.”

“I’ll be gone for four nights,” he clarified, looking me intently in the eye.

“That’s fine. I don’t care,” I said, because I didn’t care. I mean what’s not to love about having the entire house to myself for four days straight? “Just stay out of trouble,” I added, because it seemed like an important thing to add.

“Are you sure?” he asked, still studying my face for signs of what, I don’t know.

“Yes! Go! And have fun!” I demanded, and I meant it, too. I did! If he wanted to take a few days to get away, I had no problem with that. I think everybody should be able to take a few days and get away. It does a marriage good. But then I reminded him, “Just stay out of trouble!” Not that he would get into any trouble, he’s not a troublemaker, but lord knows I didn’t want to have to load my son into the mommy mobile and drive down there to save him.

All of this talk about getting away reminds me of a quick four-day Carnival Cruise trip I took to Mexico out of Florida with an old boyfriend many years ago. I’ll never forget sitting at the dinner table surrounded by three other couples we had just met. We were all the same age – in our late twenties. When I happened to mention that I was a flight attendant, one of the wives said, “I always wanted to be a flight attendant. It sounds like a lot of fun.”

Before I could tell her that it was, indeed, a lot of fun, she added, looking longingly at the man sitting beside her, “But I really can’t imagine being away from my husband for more than a night. How do you do it?”

I just smiled. There was nothing else to say.

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Flight attendants are an eccentric bunch. There’s no doubt about it, we’ve got all kinds working for the airlines. But if there’s one thing we all have in common, it’s the ability to be alone – for more than a night. And the ability to enjoy being alone. As well as allowing the ones we know and love a little space and time to themselves. So when my husband jumped on his bike and roared away, I didn’t resent him for doing so. Just the opposite. I was glad he could get away. He deserves to have a little fun now and then. Without me.

Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my family and my family loves spending time with me, but we also love our time alone. When I’m working, I cherish those ten hour layovers. That’s me-time. It’s the only time I ever get six hours of uninterrupted sleep without hearing the pitter patter of little feet at wee hours of the night. It’s also the only time I don’t have to watch another episode of Law and Order. That’s right, it’s HGTV for me, baby! All. Night. Long. And there’s nothing like being able to read a good book in bed without someone ordering me to turn off the light! Which is why when I get to my hotel room, I don’t ever leave. I’m what they call a slam clicker.

Urban Dictionary defines it best…

SLAM CLICK – 1. To go into a room and lock the door. 2. The noise the door makes as one shuts the door and locks themselves in. A term specifically used by (but not limited to) flight crews after finishing a trip and checking into the hotel for a layover. It indicates those members of the crew that go directly to their rooms and don’t go out later with the rest of the crew. I was so exhausted that day, I slam-clicked. I’m a slam-clicker. In fact, I’m slam-clicking it tonight

I’m not the only one who slam clicks. First Officer Kent Wien of Cockpit Chronicles wrote about his Slam Click Layover.

“Slam clickers are just introverts who simply need to recharge,” The Savvy Navigator said when I confessed my dirty little secret. I say dirty because no one likes a slam clicker. Including me. Which explains why I joined crew members against slam clickers a few months ago after First Officer Bob, the singing pilot, sent me the link via Facebook. I was just too embarrassed not to join, even though I had no business joining, not when I have a two year-old at home.

Now here’s a video of Bob (not slam clicking) on a layover in Paris singing a song he wrote, Pilot Rest Seat Lap Dance. Enjoy

Mad Doggy Dog – Pilot Rest Seat Lap Dance

Photo (Laughlin) courtesy of Cobalt123

Flight crew tasty, but off-limits

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Man bites dog? Well, woman bites fight attendant (or tries to, at least).

A Russian-born British woman will be spending the weekend in a Maine jail this weekend. She’s accused of having popped some prescription drugs and washed them down with a few bottles of wine and – you can’t make this stuff up – liquid soap from the plane’s lavatory.

Amazingly, she had the energy to rumble with flight attendants after pouring this unique cocktail down her throat. She punched and kicked the FAs before snapping at them “like a dog.” According to an Associated Press report, she tried to bite one of them.

The London-bound flight was diverted to Bangor, thanks to her antics.

So, what brings a flight attendant-hungry passenger to the United States? Internet dating. Apparently, Galina Rusanova went to Los Angeles to see in person a man she met via the web. Her adventure will come to something of a conclusion on Monday, when she’s scheduled to appear in U.S. District Court to face charges of assault and interference with a flight crew.

Hey, here’s a tip: don’t drink the soap!

Israel, Mecca … no difference to British BMI

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Passengers headed to Israel on a British BMI flight were alarmed to find their destination was Mecca, according to the in-flight map. The airline, it seems, isn’t terribly aware that the Middle East is know for a tiny amount of tension that’s lasted for decades (the most recent iteration, at least).

Pick your joke about “wiping Israel off the map” – the Sydney Morning Herald did.

BMI, of course, denies an anti-Israel bias and cites a technical screw-up. The carrier, which has operated low-cost flights to Israel for more than a year, says it bought two plans from a bankrupt charter company that focused on Muslim destinations. The in-filght systems were programmed to highlight Islamic holy places.

It’s not discrimination. Instead, it’s a careful blend, of laziness, stupidity and poor planning – all of which are excusable in the airline industry, right?

Flight delays may be wrinkle in Ryanair fat tax

by Tom Johansmeyer on

Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary says he’ll only move forward with plans to charge oversized passengers for extra seats if it’s easy. If it slows down the process of checking people in and getting planes pushed back from the gate, he wants no part of making more money.

Surprisingly, O’Leary didn’t comment on whether larger passengers would slow planes down, causing further delays. The media whore controversy-prone CEO – who then wonders why “idiot bloggers” treat him as we do – is known for offering journalists the outrageous and then wondering why they publish it.

Unsurprisingly, O’Leary used the phrase “fat tax” in a press conference. Specifically, “We are not going to introduce a fat tax unless it is easy to administer,” as reported in the Sydney Morning Herald.

While the public actually voted in favor of this measure, it’s nonetheless been a lightning rod for criticism. With typical panache, O’Leary says, ostensibly to critics, that a fat tax is not against the law, which is the company’s usual standard for behavior.

And, when all else fails, “we can make it a safety issue.”

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Best. Airplane food. Ever.

by Annie Scott on


So, remember the Airplane Food vs. Army Food Gadling challenge, where you had to try and guess which photos were of airplane food and which were of army food? I totally failed. It was 50/50 and I totally failed.

Well, on a related note, Lufthansa has teamed up with The Ritz-Carlton to bring you the best airplane food ever. How do I know this? I tried it at their party on Monday.

The Ritz-Carlton and Lufthansa held a fete in downtown NYC on Monday, just hours after the outrageous Air Force One photo op disaster. Everyone had calmed down and was ready to tuck into a glass of wine and, surprisingly, airplane food.

The night was catered by none other than the Ritz-Carlton chefs who were called upon to create Lufthansa’s new First and Business Class menus. I spoke with chef Andres Jimenez (above, center, photo by Atom Lark), the executive chef from the Ritz-Carlton Denver, about how much like a cooking show challenge the assignment was! Keeping the ingredients fresh, making sure they taste right at high altitudes, being able to mass produce them well, and staying in budget were all concerns. And what to serve? “It’s not really the place to take a risk,” he said. “They want something that will appeal to everyone.”

Presentation is a difficult issue on an airplane, too. Senior Vice President of Product and Brand Management for the Ritz-Carlton added that there’s the whole problem of gravity. “You could arrange these dishes perfectly, but then when the airplane takes off, they’re all sliding to the back of the cooler at 45 degrees.” I asked Chef Jimenez if they train the staff on presentation. “We trained the staff who trains the staff,” he said and smiled.

Everyone seemed quite proud of what the chefs had come up with, and as they recreated it for us there in the Financial District at the three level loft home of Barry Appelman (who I understand is the father of AOL Instant Messenger and the buddy list — and thusly the grandfather of Facebook and Twitter) and Ildiko Sragli, I think we were all very, very impressed.

Wolfgang Mayrhuber, Chairman of the Executive Board and Chief Executive Officer of Lufthansa German Airlines was one of the first to take the microphone from the cool post-mod cover band and welcome the guests. “Life is too short to eat bad food, and life is too short to drink bad wine.”

For pictures of Mayrhuber and also Simon Cooper, President and Chief Operating Officef of The Ritz-Carlton, as well as pictures of the food, the guests, and one amazing apartment, click through the gallery (photos by Atom Lark).
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