Making fun of Ryanair – paid oxygen masks?

by Scott Carmichael on

When Ryanair insulted bloggers and announced they’d start charging people for using the bathroom, all in the same week, all bets were off. Normally I’m a huge fan of low cost carriers, because they help keep the legacy carriers awake, but now it’s just getting silly.

An enterprising artist over at the b3ta boards has redesigned the Ryanair safety briefing card to show how things will probably be on board the airline by next year. Check out their board for the full version of the design.

The sad thing is that jokes like this only seem to inspire Ryanair to come up with new ways to make money, just like what happened when I joked about paid bathrooms 3 days ago.

Will Ryanair charge passengers to use the toilet? It might.

by Jamie Rhein on

It might be a good thing that drinks are more scarce when you fly these days if you consider that Ryanair may charge people for using the toilet.

Scott thought this might happen when he wrote his post about the check-in desks at Ryanair becoming a thing of the past. Knowing Scott, he was taking a tongue-in-cheek approach, something we’re fond of here at Gadling. But, Scott, as it turns out, has a cracker jack mind.

Just this morning, two articles came to our attention right as dawn broke. Both of them, this one from Gadling reader Neil, and this one from our own pilot extraordinaire Kent indicate that Ryanair is seriously considering adding a coin slot to their toilet doors as a revenue generator. You have to pee–or you know, the other; you have to pay. According to Ryanair cheif executive Michael O’Leary, everyone who flies Ryanair has coins to use for a toilet so this shouldn’t be a problem.

But what if it is? What about that one person who really has to go, but forgot about the fee and, feeling a bit dry mouthed, bought a pack of gum in the airport using up what little change was left after a night out on the town? What about that person Mr. O’Leary? Will you install change machines just in case? Then that adds to weight which adds to fuel costs which is a real slippery slope when you think about it.

I hesitate to say this, but they could also charge for toilet paper. Flight attendents could sell squares during the flight. Depending upon how much you need that toilet may determine how many squares. I’ve gladly paid for toilet paper at toilets before. Ryanair executives, I’m just kidding. Don’t be ridiculous. [RTÉ News and Reuters]

Drunk flight attendant escorted off plane and arrested

by Jamie Rhein on

When Anthony Shlyshen showed up for work at Gatwick Airport he had had a few–actually several. According to this article, Shlyshen was more than three sheets to the wind when he thought he might be able to manage his easy Jet Airbus shift. Maybe he envisioned the plane’s narrow aisle would keep him from weaving too much, and holding onto the seats from time to time would keep him steady. The pilot thought otherwise and called the police who showed up to escort Shlyshen off the plane.

A breathalyser test showed that his alcohol level was 182 mcg, eight times over the legal alcohol limit for work. It was twice the level for driving. Given his age, 48, I’m wondering why he just didn’t call in sick. By 48, one would probably recognize what being schnockered looks like to other people, particularly those who are trained to notice.

Now Shlyshen could be facing jail time. A fine is guaranteed. Calling in sick would have definitely been the cheaper option.

More stories of booze gone bad in the skies

Man who can’t work cell phone sues Continental Airlines

by Annie Scott on

Saquib Fatah of Houston, Texas, is suing Continental Airlines because he can’t work his cell phone. Confused? I’ll break it down:

1. Fatah gets on airplane in London with his new cell phone.
2. Captain makes the usual “turn off all electronic devices” announcement and the plane begins to taxi.
3. “BEEP BEEP BEEP!” from Fatah’s phone.
4. A stewardess asks Fatah to “kill the phone.” He appears to do so. Taxiing continues …
5. “BEEP BEEP BEEP!”
6. Everything goes to Hell.

After the phone went off the second time, Fatah states in his lawsuit that “the Continental Airlines stewardess used degrading and insulting language, and then offloaded him and his luggage, and handed him over to the British police.”

Fatah was reportedly held in jail for a couple of hours, then sent along his not-so-merry way. A week later, Fatah arrived at the airport to try to go home to Houston again, but Continental turned him away at the check-in, saying he was “undesirable.” Ouch. Fatah bought a ticket on British Airways, flew home, and called his lawyer Ali Ahmed.

Ahmed has yet to serve the lawsuit, but if he’s already talking to the press about it, chances are he has every intention of doing so.

[via Houston Press Blogs]

Ryanair can’t handle the “blog sphere”

by Grant Martin on

In the airline Public Relations (PR) world, lowly bloggers like those at Gadling get various degrees of attention. Younger, edgier airlines who realize the influence and flexibility of travel blogs are close with us. Legacy carriers who are rooted in their old ways of anti-technology don’t give two shakes about us, which is fine. But Ryanair? They don’t tolerate the blog world too well at all.

A recent posting by web developer Jason Roe shows just this. Roe posted an interesting article that suggested that he had found a way to book $0 fares on the Ryanair website. He was incorrect, in fact — the fare couldn’t actually be purchased and he had just found a loophole, but at the time it generated a lot of reaction. And among the commenters was who turned out to be a Ryanair staffer, whose many tirades include “jason! you’re an idiot and a liar!!”

Jason responded coldly, saying that a bug still existed, and so the spat began. Eventually, the official hand of Ryanair came in with a statement only slightly classier than the original staffer’s words, saying:

It is Ryanair policy not to waste time and energy corresponding with idiot bloggers and Ryanair can confirm that it won’t be happening again.

Lunatic bloggers can have the blog sphere all to themselves as our people are far too busy driving down the cost of air travel.

Clearly, the airline isn’t worried about offending anyone in the “blog sphere.” Perhaps after all of their negative campaigns and bad press they think that we’re already lost?

[Via The Register]