Snack food diplomacy in Vietnam

I’ve never been so happy to see a cockroach. There it was scurrying across the floor near my feet, around the empty snack food wrappers. It meant I was on the Saigon-bound train from Nha Trang. Which also meant it would (hopefully) skid into the steamy Vietnamese metropolis somewhere around 4:15am and give me about an hour to jump in a taxi, point it to the airport, and (barely) make my flight back to New York. Hopefully. This was a future chain of events that had to be perfectly synchronized in a Rube Goldbergian fashion. But at this point, I almost didn’t care. One near miracle had already occurred today. Would it be divinely gluttonous of me to ask for two?

The day started like the 13 others I’d spent in Vietnam. Crawl out of bed, quaff three or four sugar-laced coffees, and then stroll down to the local market to consume as much as my stomach would allow (pho, chao, spring rolls, more pho). This was my last day here, ending my first trip to Vietnam. I came here to write an article on Saigon and then spent the last week traveling around the country, heading up to Hoi An and then, with Gadling’s own Jeremy Kressmann, down to Qui Nhon and Nha Trang, where we ate and drank and rode backs through a leper colony and somehow ended up driving around with strangers in clunky cars late at night.

The day I was leaving Nha Trang, I got myself to the airport early enough to sip coffee in the business class lounge (it was the only ticket available for this Vietnam Airlines flight). My friend Richard Sterling–the so-called “Indiana Jones of gastronomy”–had a big night planned for my last evening in Vietnam: he was going to take me on an adventurous eating tour of Saigon. Then I was going to get approximately two hours of sleep before getting my flight home. I couldn’t wait.

Movies and novels often begin by showing the protagonist having what seems like a normal day. They get up, they drink coffee, they take their kids to school, whatever. And then, as the formula usually goes, something happens. Something extraordinary. Usually something bad. In the biz it’s called the “inciting incident.” My real-life inciting incident occurred somewhere in the middle of my second cup of coffee in the airport lounge.

It wasn’t an alien invasion or an oversized simian introducing itself to a large metropolitan area. It was an announcement saying all flights out of Nha Trang that day had been cancelled due to forthcoming inclement weather.

What was a once placid group of about 100 people became an angry mob, leveling frustration at the gate agents and clerks behind the Vietnam Airlines desk. The airline employees, however, just shrugged, saying that the only thing left to do was go back to the airlines office in Nha Trang to see what they can do.


I was the first person in a cab. I directed the driver to the railway station. I sprinted into the station, hoping, fantasizing, dreaming there was no line at the ticket window and a Saigon-bound train just about to leave. At this point–with just 12 hours to get 300 miles south of here–there was no other way I’d make my flight. But when I skidded into the ticket hall, I was greeted by snaking lines.

Immediately a middle-aged woman who was manning a snack bar grabbed me by the arm. “Where you going?” she asked.

I told her I needed to get to Saigon in 12 hours. I figured she’d give me a slow shake of her head or fill up her cheeks with air and let it blow out in defeat. Instead, she gave me a gentle push toward the miasma of tightly packed humanity and said, “Go, go, go!” There was, in fact, a train leaving for Saigon in two minutes.

The first attempt to circumvent the dozens of people in one line was met with hostility. A teenager shouldered me out. The second attempt I was shouldered out by a short old man. At the third window, I got in. I just had to wait for the person in front of me to get their ticket. I stood there, tapping my foot, rotating glances between the train outside and the person behind the counter and the snack food woman who was giving me a perpetual “well….?” look. I looked back at the ticket agent, who was fumbling with the printer. There was a printer jam. Ugh. A new piece of paper would have to be inserted. It worked! Yes. I’m about to buy my ticket. Not really. That’s when the clerk took out a pair of scissors and decided it would be best to snip off the edge of the ticket around the ink-printed border.

Finally she handed the ticket to the person in front of me and, steepling my hands like I’ve never steepled before, I told her I needed to get on that train. “No!” she barked. “Too late.” Suddenly, though, the woman from the snack bar was there. I’ll call her Phuong because that’s what I think she said her name was. Phuong dug her face in the hole and explained in Vietnamese what I wanted. The woman behind the glass just shook her head.

I was ready to give up. Phuong, though, was not. “Okay, come on,” she said pulling me by the arm, as I, like an apathetic pinball, bumped into other people waiting in line. By the time we got across the ticket hall, I had another companion: a female dwarf, locked onto my other arm, and pulling me toward a door. Together–me, Phuong, and the dwarf–found ourselves on the platform. Phuong opened the backdoor to the ticket agents’ office. She began explaining my situation and the ticket agent looked at me and said: seat or sleeper.? Yes! I was going to get on this train. I was going to catch my flight. I was going to make it home.

Just then a piercing whistle blew and that massive piece of machinery began crawling away toward Ho Chi Minh City, the metropolis everyone still calls Saigon. And with it went my hopes.

But there was news. There’s another train in an hour and a half. It gets to Saigon an hour before my flight. Seat or sleeper? I was on it.

I had time to kill and when I was exiting the station, Phuong called out for me: “When you return, don’t forget to buy snacks from my shop.”

An hour later, I was back and decidedly calmer than the last time I turned up here. Phuong, her dwarf in tow, ran up and gave me a flirtatious bump with her hip.

They sat me on an open bench in front of Phuong’s snack bar kiosk. She placed her hand on my knee and caressed it gently; not in a romantic way but in more of a deeply caring way. Phuong’s niece, who I had pegged as 12 years old but was actually 21, began peppering me with questions.

“Are you married?” she asked in near-perfect English.

I nodded, knowing what the sequel question was going to be.

“Do you have children?”

“No,” I said.

“Are you going to have children?”

I told her I probably was not. The niece was aghast. She tugged on Phuong’s arm and told her the devastating news about my ambivalence to bringing another human into this world. She called the dwarf over to tell her the bad news.

I asked Phuong if she was married. She shook her head from side to side, looking down at the ground. “He’s dead,” said the niece. Then Phuong mimicked guzzling a bottle and held her neck with a panicked look on her face. Did he drink poison?

During her death pantomime, an announcement for my train sounded. Phuong reminded me of my end of the deal and we walked over to her kiosk. After all, without her help, I may have been stranded. “I’ll take some Mentos, a bag of dried jack fruit chips, four cans of 333 beer, a pack of gum, a package of cookies, and a bag of those ‘New York-flavored’ potato chips.”

Phuong looked at me, pouty, her lower lip eclipsing the rest of her mouth. “Okay, okay,” I said, frantically looking through the glass counter of snack foods. “Give me the dried shredded pigs ears.” Phuong smiled and tallied up my bill. It came to about five dollars in total, which didn’t seem like much but Phuong looked pleased.

Maybe I was just projecting it, but as Phuong, her niece, and the dwarf stood there with me on the platform, I felt a sense of warmth between us. As if these three people and I had shared something magical together; like we hadn’t just spent the last two hours together but the last two weeks. I insisted we take a photo with my telephone and then I picked up my bag to get on the train.

That’s when Phuong stepped in front of me and rubbed her belly. “Oh, please sir, give me money,” she said.

I knew all along Phuong’s motivations for helping me were not entirely out of altruism (something about the way she said, “Come back and by my snack foods” tipped me off). After all, she didn’t even know my name and the only thing she really knew about me was that I lived in New York and I didn’t think I wanted to have children. But I was choosing to suspend reality for a few hours, to pretend that we really did have a bond, that she did care for my well being. In a way, I cared for hers. We both got something out of the experience: I (barely) got home and Phuong got some extra money. But I think we both got something more out of it. I did. For a few minutes, I didn’t feel abandoned in a place so foreign to me; just a few hours earlier, I was utterly helpless and had no idea how I was going to get myself out of this situation. That’s when Phuong stepped into my life.

I opened up my wallet and handed her a few large bills, maybe the equivalent of $20, and she pocketed it with such automation one could have easily been fooled into thinking we’d done this –said goodbye on a train platform in central Vietnam–dozens of times.

Phuong gave me a long hug. “See you next time,” she said.

“Yes,” I said. “See you soon, I hope.”

I got on the train with my small backpack and large bag of recently purchased snack food. As the train began to chug away, I waved to Phuong, her niece, and the dwarf on the platform until they disappeared.

If I ever get back to Nha Trang, I will make a point to visit Phuong’s snack food kiosk in the railway station. Is it naïve to think she’ll remember me? Probably. Instead, though, I’ll buy another bag of dried, shredded pigs ears and introduce myself, as if we’re meeting for the first time.

Travel health gift guide: what to get the incessant wanderer on your list

Travel junkies are a special breed. Only a very distinct personality type gets a rush from being on the road as much as possible, or relishes the discomforts and situations most people go to lengths to avoid. Homesickness is a foreign concept.

I know, because I too suffer from this malady. It started early, because I have a vivid memory of bursting into tears when I was six or seven, after we dropped a friend off at the airport.

“What’s wrong?” my dad asked. “I’m sad because we’re not getting on an airplane,” was my reply (ironic given my aviophobia, which had its onset about 12 years later).

A paralyzing fear of air travel hasn’t stopped me from roaming, however. So, whether you have a loved one who practically lives at Club Med or one actually enjoys sleeping on the ground or in janky Third World hostels rife with cockroaches…lucky you. You have a travel addict in the family or as a friend.

One experience incessant wanderers don’t go looking for? Illness or injury. While not inevitable, the more time you spend abroad, the greater the likelihood of suffering from anything from an infected bug bite or Bali Belly to…worse. But as I’ve always said, you can get hit by a bus crossing the street.

Of course travel isn’t inherently unsafe, but there are precautionary measures that minimize the odds of having health issues on the road. Below, my road-tested gift picks for frequent travelers (especially those who visit sub-tropical or tropical climes) and outdoor enthusiasts.

SteriPEN or LifeStraw portable water filter
Reasons why one of these is a worthwhile investment:

  • Saves money on purchasing bottled water in developing nations/places without potable water
  • Better for the environment (see above)
  • You can contract giardia or other nasties from improperly “bottled” water (trust me)
  • You don’t have to be out in the backcountry to have a potable water shortage; owning a filtration system is good insurance you stay hydrated and healthy, even in the city.

[Photo credit: Flickr user fauxrealphotos]Travel first aid kit
Even infrequent travelers should carry basic first-aid supplies: band-aids, gauze pads, Neosporin, OTC meds, etc.. Personalize your gift by tailoring a pre-purchased kit (REI is a great place to find different types and sizes) to suit the interests and needs of your recipient.

Wilderness first aid class
CPR or a general first aid class is a good idea for anyone, but if any of your loved ones live for backcountry pursuits or traveling off the beaten path, a WFA course can be a lifesaver–literally. Look one up in your area through the American Red Cross.

Controlled-release DEET and/or Insect Shield apparel
There was a time, several years ago, when I shunned DEET unless I was in a malarial region. Why, I asked myself, would I willingly douse myself in a pesticide? Why would I inflict said poison upon the environment?

That philosophy is all well and good until you get bitten by something harboring an infectious evil (in my case, it was sandflies carrying the Bartonella bacilliformis bacterium) that anti-malarials can’t prevent. Also note that malaria prophylaxis is not without considerable side-effects and may not protect you against certain strains of the disease. Be sure to talk to an infectious disease, tropical medicine, or travel physician experienced with actual working experience in these regions.

These days, I’m all about DEET if I’m traveling somewhere with potentially harmful biting insects, especially now that there are controlled-release versions on the market (there are various brands on the market; Sawyer Products is highly recommended). One application is good for up to 12 hours.

As for clothes, I love my Insect Shield long sleeve button-up shirt from ExOfficio. Good for up to 70 washings (after which you still have a good-looking, lightweight travel top), bug-repelling garments are treated with permethrin, EPA-registered, and free of toxic-smelling fumes.

Sun protective clothing
As you likely know, heat exhaustion or heat stroke can be serious; even fatal. In addition to a good sunblock, sunglasses, and a hat, sun protective clothing is a seriously smart idea for outdoor types. Once again, I recommend ExOfficio, or REI own brand, which will save you a few dollars.

Bear bell or spray
Google “2011 grizzly attacks.” ‘Nuff said.

SmartWool
socks
What they say in the military is true: you gotta take care of your feet. Once your dogs go, you’re SOL in the backcountry or tropics. Keeping feet clean and dry (and warm, if applicable) is of utmost importance (at the very least, fellow travelers will appreciate your hygiene efforts). These moisture-wicking, stench-resistant socks are invaluable even if you’re just planning an extended trip.

Ibex woolies
Getting chilled can quickly become serious or fatal, and hypothermia prevention in the form of extra layers is key. These 100% merino wool underlayers from Vermont-based outfitter Ibex are the bomb. Comfortable, warm, moisture-wicking, and seriously odor-proof (anything that remains fit to wear in public after a month-long backpacking trip from the Andes to the Amazon–sans laundry–is a product I heartily endorse). Plus, they come in cute stripey designs as well as solids.

[Photo credit: Band-aids, Flickr user m.gifford, feet, Flickr user Cin]

Maldives in Peril: Exploring the island of Maalhos

Late on a Sunday afternoon, hardly a day of rest in this part of the world, the small island of Maalhos is quiet. The men, most of who go to sea each day to fish or work at one of six nearby tourist resorts, are absent. School is out for a week’s holiday so kids of various ages scamper up and down the short, dusty streets. The women of the island of 600 are mostly in doorways or small backyards or sitting in laid-back sling chairs made of strong twine strung from metal frames lining the streets.

On the beach, the late afternoon sun in the shade, a gaggle of boys swordfight with palm fronds. A woman in brown headscarf sits cross legged playing a sophisticated game of jacks with small round stones. Three women sit together knitting palm fronds into roofing material. A trio of girls in their early 20s follow us as we walk the streets, painfully shy, peeking out from beneath headscarves, smiling.

Like all Maldivian towns this is laid out in squares. From the start of any street you can stare down it and see blue ocean at the other end. As I walk the streets, obviously an outsider, accompanied by a translator — one of the many islanders who works at one of the six tourist resorts in the Baa Atoll — I stop to chat people up and the responses are friendly, smiling. Everyone I meet – man, woman, child – gives me a good, hard handshake as a hello. Though poor, this is not an impoverished place.

Despite the booming tourist business that exists on islands all around, most of these people have little contact with outsiders. Tourists in the Maldives are confined largely by geography to the resort islands. Water surrounds and there aren’t shuttles or ferries or water taxis to take people easily from island to island. During the recently ended thirty-year dictatorship, locals were strongly discouraged from mingling with visitors, concerned that negative influences from the west might rub off. Tourists drink alcohol, run around mostly naked and come to party, after all. By comparison, the local populace does not imbibe and is called to prayer several times a day (though there is reportedly a sizable heroin habit and growing drinking problem among many of the Maldive’s young people).

Concrete-block-and-cement walls lining the streets are painted in bright orange and purple and faded blue; older walls are made from pieces of coral, a construction now forbidden due to efforts to preserve the fragile reefs. Many of the walls bear stenciled black-and-red “Vote for Saleem” signs, which rather than feel defacing are actually a reminder of a positive thing that’s come to the Maldives in the last few years: Democracy.

I visit with a woman dressed in purple from head to toe; she is bundling reeds for roofs, explaining she is the breadwinner since her husband is sick. Fifty-two, she came here thirty years ago from a nearby, smaller island. In that time, she says, everything has gotten better. The economy. Politics. The way of life, including fifty channels of satellite television. And yes, she worries about rising sea levels, but primarily for her kids. “The seas are climbing … but what can I do?” is the plaint I hear from most here.

While the impacts of global warming are being hotly debated at the SLOWLIFE Symposium at the nearby Soneva Fushi resort, the reality of it and the inevitable impact on local life seems very far off. Talk to locals and they will admit they have to go further to sea to find the fish that used to swim just offshore. They will tell you that there seem to be more storms these days, more powerful storms. They admit that erosion is eating away at the beaches they have played on all their lives. But to ask them to connect those changes to carbon emissions and international laws of the sea is a stretch.

Yet they remain the best “reporters” of how a changing climate is — slowly — having a real impact on their daily lives.

On the far side of the island a Woman’s Collective has turned out for a late-afternoon communal sweeping of a corner of the island. Bent at the waist, wearing headscarves and long dresses, they whisk brooms over the sand/dirt ground along the edge of the sea. Paid a small salary by the local government, the clean up is a good thing. But a bad side of island life here is evident just behind where they sweep: Piles of plastic garbage bags, which apparently did not make the once-a-month barge that carries garbage away to a nationwide rubbish-island near Male.

“You ask where the tsunami hit,” responds a 70-year-old man in green polo shirt, faded madras skirt and red Nike flip-flops. “Everywhere. That wave came from every direction at once.” He lucked out when the wave hit, since he was twenty feet up a coconut tree knocking off cocos.

Deeply tanned, his shaved head boasting a thin veneer of graying stubble, he tells me he still fishes when there’s a bit of wind, necessary because his boat has only a sail, no motor. A jack of all island trades, he’s fished, collected coconuts, worked construction and, not so long ago, was paralyzed over half his body due to some unexplained (to him) malady. Today he shows off his good health with the strongest handshake yet.

Vice TV kicks off All the Wrong Places travel series (and contests)

Our friends at VICE TV just launched a new travel series over on their site called All the Wrong Places. In typical VICE fashion the videos focus on fringe topics and travel culture, but unlike some of the previous guides (see: Congo or Liberia) ATWP destinations are attainable and even aspirational to most sane travelers. Unique to the series, though, is that they’re actually taking everyday fans along for the ride in the “co-pilot” seat.

The launch episode for the All the Wrong Places is embedded above, and explores the shrinking culture of Dekotora Trucks among a small Japanese community.

You can apply for any of the remaining “seats” over on Facebook. We’re signing up right now.

Photo of the day – Seoul Lantern Festival

Through November 20th, the Seoul Lantern Festival will continue to light up spirits in the South Korean capital. Of the many images of the festival posted by Flickr user LadyExpat (Back in Daejeon) at the Gadling Group Pool on Flickr, it was this one that really stood out: a simple game of swan lanterns, luminous against an inky pool.

Got a photo you’d like to share with the world? Upload it to the Gadling Group Pool on Flickr. If we fall in love with it we might just select it to be a future Photo of the Day.