Indian odyssey: A Holi debauch in Varanasi

Varanasi, City of Death, City of Passage to Worlds Beyond.

Founded by Lord Shiva on the banks of the holy Ganges, Varanasi (once known as Benares) occupies the most sacred land in India, and is a reputed tirtha (passage point to the Other World). For at least 3,000 years Varanasi has drawn India’s dying, specifically those dying Hindus seeking release from Samsara, the burdensome cycle of birth, death, and rebirth in which all beings are karmically rewarded or punished for their deeds on earth with a new round of existence, accordingly torturous or pleasant. However, if you expire in Varanasi, have yourself cremated in a pyre beneath the handless clock of Manikarnika Ghat, and have your ashes consigned to the Ganges, you achieve moksha, the highest release possible, the most munificent mercy of all: freedom from Samsara, everlasting surcease of suffering and dispatch to the ethereal Void beyond the world of the flesh.

Well-read travelers to India probably know this much about Varanasi even before arriving. But Varanasi is not only a citadel of mortal passage and spiritual relief. Soot-stained, chock-full of crumbling temples and hostels for the moribund and screeching monkeys, reeking of incense and sandalwood and less salubrious odors, ostensibly holy Varanasi is also home to some 3 million human beings with entirely mundane, even profane, proclivities. I found myself with an unexpected chance to see this for myself during my third sojourn there, two years ago, during the springtime Hindu festival of Holi, when people ritualistically splash each other with colored dyes and ignite corner bonfires in celebration of the deity Prahlad´s escape from the flames into which the demoness Holika had cast him. There are other rites associated with Holi, but for some youths celebratory antics have recently taken more serious turns involving drunkenness and debauchery, the groping of female tourists foolish enough to wander the streets, even assault and rape.

All of which prompted me to wish for Holi’s end even before it had started. As it was, an undercurrent of violence seemed to flow through the city, born of overpopulation, caste-related violence in the surrounding countryside, and desperate poverty. My Varanasi-born Indian friend, whom I will call Rajiv here, to protect his identity, sensed my trepidation, and invited me to festivities he was arranging for later in the day.

“Holi out on the streets is one thing,” Rajiv said. “But I will show you another.” He winked slyly. “If you attend my party, I promise you will not regret it.”In his forties, Rajiv was a landowner and builder with money and status — an Indian Big Man, as it were. He was erudite and earthy, devoted to his gods, and a man of inestimable good humor who nevertheless managed to succeed in Varanasi´s challenging environment of violence and corruption. He was also generous, perhaps to a fault.

“I’m throwing a Holi party for our laborers” — mostly migrants from Uttar Pradesh state who led lives of unimaginable penury and deprivation. “I will show them a good time. One like they never get a chance to see.” He winked again, and smiled slyly. “A real good time.” The local district administrator would be there, along with a high-ranking official from the state security services. Big Men all. My safety, he said, was “guaranteed.” Which seemed to indicate it could be dangerous indeed. Just dangerous enough to intrigue me.

“What time should I be there?” I asked.

The day waned and darkness fell, but the March heat hardly abated. I was not to walk the Holi-stricken streets of Varanasi alone. One of Rajiv’s servants pulled up to my doorway on a motorcycle and I hopped aboard for a rumbling, tipsy-turvy ride down yard-wide, serpentine streets, to one of Rajiv’s properties, a three-story cement building, stained with ashes from Varanasi´s endlessly burning cremation fires. The event he was staging would call for privacy, so it would be held on a rooftop enclosed within walls.

The party was already on. With a pistol stuffed in his belt, seated behind a table, dressed in a sweat-blotched sleeveless t-shirt, Rajiv was ministering to his flock: some twenty pencil-thin men in robes and turbans squatting above paper plates piled high with steaming dhal and vegetables, which they scooped up and ate with their fingers. His brother, a powerful fellow who had received training in hand-to-hand combat, was also in attendance and seated behind the table, armed with a handgun as well.

“Get up!” Rajiv commanded his guests, pulling a bottle of English whiskey from a box packed with more of the same at his side. The workers arose, and with downcast eyes, formed a line. Rajiv handed each one a plastic cup, which he filled to the brim with booze. “Keep it moving!” he said. The laborers applied his command to their elbows. They upended their cups of whiskey, burped raucously and shook their heads, walked on, and straightaway got back in line. This was no doubt the first time anyone had treated them to whiskey, a proscribed substance in Hinduism, and illegal within the sacred precincts of central Varanasi.

This was the first time anyone had treated them to whiskey, a proscribed substance in Hinduism, and illegal within the sacred precincts of central Varanasi.

Soon the administrator and the security chief arrived, pot-bellied men in plaid shirts, well-coiffed, splashed with cologne, their collars starched, their cheeks immaculately shaved. They nodded greetings to me, without a smile. Rajiv pulled another bottle of whiskey — higher-grade hooch reserved for Big Men — and poured us honorary Big Men cupfuls. I sniffed it. I don’t usually drink whiskey, but this was fine stuff. We all downed our shots and pulled up chairs by Rajiv. Soon I broke into a sweat, and felt the whiskey burn its way through my capillaries. Mists were now drifting over the rooftop, the humidity was rising, the workers, a few already drunk, were talking louder and louder. The whiskey high hit me fast and hard. How fine it was to be in India! I proposed a toast to my host, who was showing me there was nothing to fear, and, indeed, much to enjoy, in Holi.

But Rajiv was struggling urgently to keep up with the workers and their outstretched hands. “Keep moving!” he shouted, pouring the wondrous bronze elixir into their wobbly cups. Slackers were not allowed; each continuously drank his share to the dregs and returned to the end of the line. Intentionally or not, Rajiv was prompting them to drink much, and rapidly. He turned to me. “I’m doing these fellows a good deed. They don’t get a chance to drink whiskey in their villages. So they will never forget this Holi!”

In other circumstances, I might have ascribed all sorts of abstemious virtues to these impoverished laborers. Knowing little of their lives, but having many preconceptions about India, I would have doubted whether they would drink alcohol, even if offered it for free, or engaged in other vices. Now I saw the truth.

It might seem wrong to some to watch villagers being debauched, but a certain amount of vice keeps people human, whatever their social status. I noticed that the administrator drank at the same pace as they, and soon was leaning into my face, belching whiskey fumes and trying to tell me something of great apparent significance. The security chief kept to himself, working his elbow up and down, his eyes slowly losing focus. All livened up when someone popped a cassette tape into a boom box, and raucous Indian dance music blared forth. Instants later workers were leaping about in frantic sloppy duets, their turbans unraveling, sweat spinning off their foreheads. Men all, drunker and drunker, they began hip-thrusting belly dance moves with each other, with the occasional fall onto the concrete floor.

At some barely perceptible moment, when ragged clouds drifted over the moon and a fetid stench arose from the streets, the party’s mood shifted. Sweating profusely, the security chief slumped in his seat, babbling incoherently. The administrator lifted his finger, as if to make an announcement of momentous import, but staggered past me, vomited onto his shirt, and collapsed. Shouts arose — the workers, bleary-eyed and soaked in perspiration, were berating their sloggered Bihari supervisor, who lashed out at them with his fists. Those still dancing took to shoving one another and cursing. A melee was erupting.

Rajiv jumped to his feet, brandishing his pistol, as did his brother. Both grabbed the workers and started breaking up the squabbles, shouting violently and calling for order, their commands drowned out by the music. The Bihari hardly appreciated any of this. He fell onto a chair, vomited into his lap, and then collapsed onto the cement. Finally, even I was called into service as a bouncer of sorts.

The administrator and the security officer had had enough. They staggered to their feet and leaned on the shoulders of their own servants, who walked them carefully to the stairwell. A half-hour later, we had herded the laborers back out onto the streets and were alone on the rooftop amid puddles of vomit, crushed dhal-splattered plates, soiled turbans, and broken plastic cups.

Whatever Varanasi was, it was above all a hive of humanity, with only a superficial layer of sanctity that covered its multi-faceted identity. It was not as it seemed, which accorded perfectly with the Indian concept of Maya, the veil of illusion shrouding the realities of our world, realities common to India and the West.

A Sanskrit hymn echoed from a nearby temple, a mist twirled up from the Ganges, swathing in white beggars and holy men and commonplace sinners like us alike. We drank the last of our whiskey and got ready to leave. Servants would clean up the mess in the morning. We filed down the stairway toward the street, where Rajiv’s assistants had the motorcycle engines rumbling.

“Happy Holi!” Rajiv said to me, wiping sweat from his brow. We boarded his motorcycle. Glow from the pyres of Manikarnika Ghat reached into the skies, and we bounced off into the serpentine lanes leading back to his home.

*****

Jeffrey Tayler is the Moscow-based correspondent for The Atlantic and the author of numerous books, including Siberian Dawn, Facing the Congo, Glory in a Camel’s Eye, Angry Wind, and River of No Reprieve. His most recent book is Murderers in Mausoleums. He is also a contributor to Conde Nast Traveler, National Geographic, Harper’s, and Smithsonian magazines.

[Photos: Flickr | abrinsky; Woodlouse; Diganta Talukdar; Kyle May]

Daily Pampering: Marina Bay Sands Hotel infinity pool over Singapore

Some of life’s simple luxuries are downright cool and some are simply awe-inspiring, and then there are those that give us goose-bumps and test our vertigo to the limit. Enter: The Marina Bay Sands Hotel in Singapore and its rooftop infinity pool.

The $5.95 billion hotel finally opened its doors in June and is being touted as the world’s most expensive hotel, but that’s not the purpose behind this pampering. The hotel’s main attraction is a 650-foot wide infinity pool situated at the 55th floor of the hotel, making it the largest outdoor pool in the world that high. The pool’s water spills over into a catchment and then recycles the water back into the hotel’s main pool area. We don’t really care where the water goes as long as it doesn’t spill over Singapore, which is exactly how the views from this sky-high pool look (stomach turning).

In addition to the hotel’s infinity pool, guests can spend the night in one of 2,560 rooms that cost around $520 a night. The hotel also includes a casino, an outdoor plaza, a convention center, a theater and a museum.

Want more? Get your daily dose of pampering right here.

Beyond the kebab: Foodie blog Istanbul Eats now in print


Last night in Istanbul, a side street in the Galata neighborhood on the European side of town was packed with people eating Turkish street food such as çiğ köfte, salted cucumbers, and börek pastries, and drinking cold Efes beers and Turkish wines. The occasion was the publication of the book Istanbul Eats: Exploring the Culinary Backstreets,
a compilation of food and restaurant recommendations from the blog of the same name. So full of local foodies and fans of the blog that the event was broken up early by the Turkish police unaccustomed to boisterous Tuesday block parties.

Started by American expats Ansel Mullins and Yigal Schleifer last spring, Istanbul Eats is billed as “a serious eater’s guide to the city.” You won’t find any five-star restaurants, international chains, or tourist traps on Istanbul Eats; the blog focuses on small, traditional eateries; street carts; and mom-and-pop shops. Many of the establishments are only open for lunch, serve no alcohol, and take no credit cards. What you will find is authentic, often surprising, and always satisfying food. The pocket-sized book combines reviews with mouth-watering photography and visitor-friendly maps and info.

For now, the book is only available for sale online and in shops in Turkey, but is a must-read for anyone visiting Istanbul and looking to take home a taste of Turkey. If you want to read up on the culinary scene before your trip, the blog has a full archive of restaurant reviews, round-ups, and features on local favorite dishes. Afiyet Olsun!

Solar-powered computer for $35 or less

Developers in India have announced an iPad clone that costs only $35. Capable of basic web surfing, video conferencing, and word processing and using a Linux operating system, the cut-rate computer is targeted at India’s student population.

India has been undergoing an information technology boom for more than a decade now, and the most popular degree for students is in computer science.

Since the computer is still a prototype, it’s not clear what the cost will be when it finally goes on the market. The target is $35, but that may go as low as $10 with a few tweaks and the help of mass production.

The Indian Institute of Technology and the Indian Institute of Science, who developed the device, announced that international investors are interested in producing it for commercial distribution.

This could make the perfect travel computer–cheap enough that it doesn’t matter if it gets broken or stolen, and no need for a power converter and voltage regulator. Could this be the essential travel tool of the future? Tell us what you think in the comments section.


Photo of an iPad is courtesy Glenn Fleishman via Wikimedia Commons.

Tip this waitress or she’ll kill you

There are two types of waitress you want to tip. The first will climb onto your lap for an extra $20 while the DJ pushes the sounds of Whitesnake through the speakers, and she’ll earn every dime of it. The other, however, is far more dangerous. She won’t take your money, but she will take your life.

When you enter a North Korean restaurant in Siem Reap, Cambodia, notes The Chosun Ilbo, be careful.

North Korean women dream of becoming waitresses, and the job is only available to those who come from the right families, according to Open Radio for North Korea:

“The waitress probably comes from a privileged background,” said a North Korean defector who used to work as a performer in the North. “Only women from good family backgrounds are given the chance to work abroad.”

The opportunity to work abroad is a rare privilege in this reclusive state. Of course, candidates have to come from politically reliable families, but there are other criteria, including the ability to dance and play a musical instrument and a university degree. Most important, however, is that waitressing is for hotties only. If you’ve been smacked around by the “ugly stick,” you probably won’t be allowed to carry a tray.

Oh, and you need to qualify for a license to kill. Open Radio for North Korea also noted that some of the waitresses are spies.

So, there are two women you don’t want to stiff in this world: a stripper and a North Korean waitress. Wait, maybe you do …


[Via @LiberateLaura, photo by permanently scatterbrained via Flickr]