Classic Treks: The Paine Circuit

by Kraig Becker on

Yesterday we mentioned how amazing Patagonia is for adventure travelers, and in the process referenced the Torres del Paine National Park in Chile, which also happens to be home to one of the best long distance treks in the world. This classic hiking trail is known as the Paine Circuit, and backpackers from around the world make the journey to South America each year just to hike through the dramatic Patagonian landscapes.

The Paine Circuit is roughly 65 miles in length and requires about 8 to 10 days to complete. The entire route is lined with amazing scenery that is distinctive to Patagonia, including beautiful valleys filled with glacial lakes, stunning mountain vistas, and the legendary Towers of Paine, three unique rock faces carved out of pink granite.

Trekking the circuit independently is incredibly easy, as a solid infrastructure is in place to assist backpackers in getting on the trail. Shuttles run on a regular basis, and there are a number of trailheads from which to begin the trek, with access near Puerto Natales, and El Calafate. The price of the shuttle is generally about $20 and the park entrance fee is another $14.

The trek can be a bit gear intensive, as you’ll need to carry everything you’ll need along with you. Packs tend to get heavy, and pack animals are not used on the circuit at all, so you’ll need a stove, sleeping bag, clothing for a variety of weather conditions, and possibly a tent as well. On the Paine Circuit, you can choose to stay in your own tent for free, or pay a nominal fee to stay in the assorted cabins, or refugios that are found along the trail.One of the great aspects of hiking this trail is that it gives you the sense of a high alitude, alpine trek, without the severe altitude. There is no fear of alittude sickness on the Paine Circuit, as the highest pass is just 4071 feet. But the hike can still be a challenge, as the legendary Patagonian weather can strike at any time, with high winds and heavy rains making conditions very uncomfortable.

The Paine Circuit has a lot to offer any backpacker, and should easily be on your short list of international treks to complete. The stunning scenery is worth the journey alone, and you’ll be exploring one of the most remote and unique environments on the planet.

Creating the perfect “liecation” – and how to prevent getting busted

by Scott Carmichael on

So, you read our little story on the new trend of “liecations”, and you too want to create your own little fake vacation? Well, even though the whole thing is incredibly tacky, and downright stupid, we know the economy is tough, and a trip abroad might not be possible this year.

Of course, the right thing to do is tell people you are staying home, but if the liecation trend is to be believed, there really are people out there that would rather lie than just chill out at home being honest.

To create the perfect liecation, you’ll need to find the perfect balance between plausible lies, and downright pathetic lies. For example – don’t claim you went on a 2 week safari to Kenya. The same applies to a liecation involving Mount Everest. European liecations are easy, as are any liecations in North America.

Before I erase whatever credibility I have – I have never lied about a trip, simply because I have never had the need to. I’ve always been lucky enough to get to my destination, whenever and however I wanted. However, don’t let my honesty get in the way of your devious plan of creating the perfect 2009 liecation.




Picking the right fake destination

As I mentioned earlier – play it safe. Pick a destination with plenty of support for your lie. If you are telling a lie about being just one of 100 tourists a year visiting a remote island, you’ll need a pretty damn good cover story to keep that one going. Europe and North America are simple ones.

If you suck at lying, then you may want to “take a cruise”. Pick a nice 7 day round trip cruise with little or no stops on the way. Virtually every cruise is the same, and if you mention “food and shows”, you’ll have covered almost everything you could have done on your liecation.

Physical evidence of your trip plans

Keep at least one or two suitcases in the hallway after you “return”, leave a guidebook on the table, and if at all possible, find an old ticket wallet as evidence of “your tickets”. Really smart fakers will find a way to print a fake online boarding pass, but since the TSA frowns on that, you are on your own.

Go to Google maps and print maps of everything you “plan to visit”, then leave them lying around the house.

Photos and how they help you lie

Finding or creating photos of a trip that never took place can be tricky. You can pick photos other people made (off Flickr or other sites), but showing your friends 100 pictures without you in it will set off alarm bells. Stick to the basics – photos of food, photos of buildings.

Just remember to keep the weather in mind. Was the weather horrible during the week “you were there”? Then don’t show photos of a nice sunny trip. If you do want to use photos, pick some from deep in the search results – using the first 5 results for “Paris” will get you caught.

If you put the photos on your PC – rename them, you don’t want people catching you because they found the same file name from others. Don’t upload photos as your own to the Internet – that is stealing, and the move from liar to thief is one you really need to stay away from.

Pick an “I can’t talk about it” destination

If you want to make your life easier, pick a destination with activities you “can’t talk about”. A great liecation for this could be the Hedonism resort or one of the Mexican beach destinations. Any time someone asks what you did, just give them a glazed look, close your eyes and tell them “too much, just too much”.

Details are your enemy

Specific details of your trip will either kill your lie, or keep it going. Did you “visit” a museum? Check online to be sure it was actually open. Don’t give a 20 minute lecture on the museum you “visited” unless you know your stuff really well.

The Internet is a quick and easy place to find support for your lies. A quick trip to Weather.com and Wikipedia will get you up to date on almost everything you need to know to create your liecation.

Eat lots and lots of unhealthy food

If you went on an all-inclusive vacation or a cruise, you’ll have a hard time convincing people you really left the country if you come back looking skinny.

Before you start your week long liecation at home, stock up on lots and lots of bad food. A pint a day of your best friends Ben and Jerry will be a good start.

Let this also be a reminder to do groceries before you start your trip. Running into friends at the local store when you are supposed to be in Hawaii is a real deal breaker.


Saying “hi’ from your “destination”

Technology is on your side here – it isn’t hard to send out greetings, tweets and emails from around the world, without actually leaving your liecation headquarters. Want people to think you are in France? Find yourself a French webmail service, sign up, and send emails to your friends. You’ll need to be able to read or translate the site in order to sign up, but before you know it, you’ll be emailing people from your bigfatliar@ French webmail account.

Remember to stay away from any social networking services when there is a time difference. Your whole story will be busted if you are Twittering from “Sydney” at 3am “local time”. If you do screw up – lie some more, and say you just left the bar.

Got some REALLY nerdy friends you may need to deceive? Find a nice foreign proxy server and send your mail through that, or use a web mail service that doesn’t reveal your location.

Souvenirs say it all

You really don’t need tacky crap for your friends, but family members may be expecting something special from your destination. Thankfully, sites like Ebay are full of people who were given tacky crap, and put it up for sale.

For about $9, you can order an ugly Eiffel Tower key chain and $20 will get your some clogs or a piece of Delft Blauw porcelain to remind people of your lovely “trip to Holland”.

Relics from your trip to other countries could be as simple as some stickers or junk from an antique store.

Funny anecdotes

Remember the guy at the place, doing the thing? That was awesome! Create a couple of fun an
ecdotes, so you can think back to all the fantastic memories of the trip you never took.

Keep your stories straight

Did you “visit” your vacation destination with a friend, family member or partner? Get your stories straight. It starts with silly details like the hotel, what you did and things you saw. Don’t try and synchronize 100’s of false details, you’ll only increase the chance someone calls you out for being the fraud you are.

If you have to describe your vacation to someone with the knowledge to uncover your dark truth, you may have to resort to the “explosive diarrhea” excuse – once you start talking about that horrible case of the exploding runs, most people won’t dig any further into your trip report.

Adventure Destination: Patagonia

by Kraig Becker on

South America has some of the most remote and amazing places on the planet. The continent is home to the Amazon and the Andes of course, both of which conjure images of beautiful, wild places. But perhaps the most remote, beautiful, and wild of all, lies far to the south, transcending the borders of Argentina and Chile, in a place called Patagonia.

Sitting just on the southern end of the Andes Mountains, and stretching east onto a series of stepped plains. Patagonia is amongst the most geographically and climatically diverse places on the planet, with arid plains, icy mountains, spiky rock towers, and wondrous glaciers. As if all of that weren’t enough, the region is also home to a number of active volcanoes, which bring bubbling hot springs, geysers, and an occasional eruption to the region as well.

Patagonia is also legendary for its weather, which can best be described as tempestuous. Because of its proximity to both the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans, the entire area is buffeted by storm fronts on a regular basis, and visitors should always be aware that weather conditions can, and do, change very rapidly, with beautiful, warm, sunshine giving way to high winds, rain, and snow, on a moments notice.

But those who make the trip to Patagonia will be rewarded with an outdoor playground unlike any other on Earth. Hikers, climbers, paddlers, and backpackers will find plenty to keep them occupied, with spectacular trails stretching throughout the area, and some of the best rock climbing in the world. The Torres del Paine National Park, for instance, is a UNESCO World Heritage Site that offers a number of classic treks, several of which pass within the shadows of the Towers of Paine, three rock monoliths that are considered amongst the most challenging big walls on the planet. Patagonia’s Pacific Coast serves up spectacular sea kayaking, with a multitude of islands and glaciers to explore as well, rounding out the outdoor adventurers wonderland.

Patagonia isn’t just for the adventure crowd however, as the amazing scenery is worth the journey for anyone who appreciates beautiful outdoor environments. The sweeping vistas and breathtaking mountain views can be viewed from the comfort and safety of a tour bus as well, and wildlife, which include cougars, foxes, an assortment of birds, and guanaco, an antelope-like herd animal, are abundent.

For many, Patagonia represents the ultimate adventure travel destination. It is remote, strikingly beautiful, and sits practically at the ends of the Earth. So whether backpacking, climbing, paddling, or just beautiful scenery is your thing, you’ll find plenty to like in this South American paradise.

A room with a view: camp overnight at a fire lookout tower

by Alison Brick on

A few weeks ago, friends and I hiked to the top of a local mountain range, and picnicked beside a fire lookout tower. Quite the view. That’s exactly why it’s home to a fire lookout tower, after all.

Which makes the next thing that I learned pretty nifty: you can camp overnight at some of these towers.

For only $25-75 per night, you can practically have a whole mountain to yourself (or at least feel like it). I haven’t stayed at any myself, but I’m imagining them as a camper or hiker’s dream–no neighbors singing camp songs til the wee hours, and you have a jump start on the trails in the morning.

Some are set atop high platforms and others are more low to the ground. Many can only be reached by foot, and you’re not guaranteed running water or electricity, but you’ll often find a mattress and a propane or wood-burning stove there.

You can check out the options on the National Historic Lookout Register and then rent them through Recreation.gov. The rentable towers are not in every state; of the states with towers for rent, Idaho seems to come in the cheapest at $25/night.

Best beaches in southeast Florida

by Willy Volk on

With 1200 miles of sand beaches, Florida is the world’s premiere destination for vacationers seeking sun, surf, and sand. However, with so much coastline, how do you choose the beach that’s right for you? Here’s our list of the best beaches in southeast Florida (roughly the area from Stuart to Miami).

Best beach for photo ops: Blowing Rocks Preserve

Blowing Rocks Preserve encompasses a mile-long limestone outcrop riddled with holes, cracks and fissures; when the tide’s high and there’s a strong easterly wind (call for conditions: 561-744-6668), water shoots up, geyser-like. When seas are calm, you can hike through four coastal biomes: shifting dune, coastal strand, interior mangrove wetlands and tropical coastal hammock. Across the street, Hawley Education Center has rotating art exhibits with nature themes, as well as two short nature trails and a butterfly garden.

Entry to the preserve is $2 per person, and it’s only open from 9am to 4:30pm. A dedicated photographer would probably consider the best photo opportunities to be at sunrise (though we didn’t tell you to park south of the preserve and hike in with your camera and tripod). Finding the refuge is a little tricky, as there’s no signage: from US Hwy 1, take Bridge St (708 east) to Hobe Sound. Make a left on Beach St (707). Travel about 3 miles; the refuge is on your right.

Best beach for working: Hollywood Beach

This may seem an odd category for those looking for vacation, but Hollywood Beach — which recently enjoyed a massive $14 million renovation — is WiFi-enabled. You’re not likely to find people working on laptops at the beach (despite their ridiculous ads), but for visitors with Web-enabled cell phones, this is a great place to relax while catching up on email: the boss won’t even know you’re not in the office. If you choose to power down completely on vacation, you’ll enjoy Hollywood’s beautiful boardwalk and adjacent restaurants. Think of it as “the Venice Beach of Florida.”

To get here, take I-95 to Hollywood Blvd exit. Head east. Park.

Best dog beach: “Friends of Jupiter Beach”

Sandwiched between Jupiter and Juno, the 2.5-mile Friends of Jupiter Beach (FJB) may be the happiest beach in the state. Welcoming all well-behaved dogs, FJB regularly hosts impromptu canine photo shoots and sees plenty of happy hounds chasing Frisbees. If you want to enjoy South Florida’s waves with your pup, this is the place.

To get here from I-95, exit at Donald Ross Rd, head east to to A1A, and turn left. The dog-friendly beach begins at the intersection of A1A and Marcinski Road.

Best nude beach: Haulover Beach

Haulover Beach is the only officially-sanctioned nude beach in The Sunshine State. Nestled between the Intracoastal Waterway and the Atlantic Ocean, this 0.4-mile stretch of beach lies to the north of the larger Haulover Beach Park and, though tiny, can attract several thousand visitors per day. Remember: while many people are nude on this beach, it’s impolite to stare. Also: given the kinds of people who like to sunbathe nude, you may not wish to stare. You’ve been warned.

To get here, take I-95 to NW 125 Street and go east across Broad Causeway (there’s a 50-cent toll) to Collins Ave (A1A). Turn left, pass over a bridge, and proceed to the North Beach Parking lot on the left at the far north end of the park. Parking is $5 per car.

(For some other tips on where you may be able to get in some nude sunbathing, check this guide.)

Best undeveloped beach: Hutchinson Island

Most of this long, skinny island — which begins near Stuart and stretches north to Fort Pierce — is a sprawling mess of condos and resorts. However, the determined beach-goer can find a stunning array of unspoiled beaches, all with free access, excellent for walking, swimming and even some snorkeling. Most of the access roads and parking lots are dirt on Hutchinson Island, but barring an epic, Noah-like flood, you’re unlikely to get stuck.

To get here from Stuart, take Ocean Blvd east to the barrier island and head north. The beaches get more remote the further north you travel. (If you’ve got your four-footed friends with you, be sure to head to the only dog-friendly beach in St Lucie County, Walton Rocks, across from the St Lucie Power Plant.)

Best beach to people-watch: South Beach

No surprises here, but we couldn’t make a list of the best beaches in southeast Florida and skip this. If you’re looking for bronzed goddesses (some of whom go topless) or beefcakes in banana hammocks, Miami’s South Beach area — roughly the southernmost 23 blocks of the barrier island separating the Atlantic Ocean from Biscayne Bay — is the place to be. The entire section of sand is public access, but the Lummus Park area (right off 10th St) is the most popular … and most familiar (remember “Miami Vice”?).

To get here, exit I-95 at Dolphin Exwy/US 41/MacArthur Cswy, and head east. When you hit the barrier island, the road becomes 5th St. Follow this east to US1 (Collins Ave), then head north. Parking in Miami Beach is always tough. Look for a meter or a parking garage along Collins Ave (one block West of Ocean Dr).

Best “nature” beach: John D. MacArthur State Park

While this park is one of the smallest in the region, the John D. MacArthur State Park offers excellent, free, ranger-led walks from its William T Kirby Nature Center (10am daily). The park has one of the best turtle-watching programs around, as loggerhead, green and leatherback turtles nest here in June and July. It’s also home to several aquariums and a spectacular 1600-foot boardwalk — which spans the mangroves of Lake Worth Cove — and the on-site nature center provides guided and unguided kayak trips ($10-35/hour). On alternate Thursday mornings, the park offers yoga on the beach, and on full moon weekends, there are moonlight concerts and Bluegrass shows.

To get here, take I-95 to PGA Boulevard, head east, and continue heading east (and a little south) after the road changes to SR 703. The park entrance is on your left.

Best party beach: Peanut Island

Originally created in 1918 as the result of dredging, Peanut Island is an 80-acre island in the middle of the Intracoastal Waterway, north of West Palm Beach and east of Riviera Beach. Accessible only by boat, the island is popular with boaters who anchor off the northern edge of the island and party, either from their boats … or in the water. Fishing and swimming is allowed, and there are both developed and primitive campsites available for overnights (be sure to look for manatees swimming near the southern edge of the island). For history buffs, Peanut Island is also home to the Kennedy Bunker, which served as a fallout shelter for the family during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Today, the Bunker houses the Palm Beach Maritime Museum.

To get here, you’ll need your own boat. if you don’t have a boat, you can rent a kayak from Visit Palm Beach ($20/hour, or $30 for the day; bring plenty of water). Alternatively, you can take the water taxi ($10, round-trip) from Sailfish Marina (which boasts a terrific all-you-can-eat brunch on the weekends, for $17/person).

Best “local’s only” beach: Palm Beach (off Barton Ave)

Palm Beach — the exclusive enclave of the super-rich, like Jimmy Buffett, Donald Trump and (formerly) Bernie Madoff — has some beautiful beaches, much of which are difficult to access, due to the island’s near-endless “no parking” signs. However, a favorite “local’s only” spot is easy to access, offers free parking, and is almost always empty.

To get here from West Palm Beach, take Okeechobee Blvd east to the island (where the road becomes Royal Palm Way). At Ocean Blvd, turn left and head north five blocks to Barton Ave and turn left again. Park anywhere along Barton and walk back to the Ocean Blvd, being on the lookout for a small path leading to the beach. Unroll your towel. Enjoy.

Though these beaches aren’t in “Southeast Florida,” they’re also worth noting: