Halloween is my all-time favorite holiday. I get so in to it, I win contests. (Seriously, I am the best Mary Katherine Gallagher you will ever meet. Maybe even better than Molly Shannon. See photo). So I’m not going to let traveling with a small pack keep me from creating a costume.
In 2004 I was in Vietnam over Halloween in the town of Nha Trang. The U.S. presidential elections were days away, and I often felt under attack from questions and accusations of other travelers about U.S. foreign policy. Needless to say, I did not meet one single traveler (except for one American) who supported Bush or the war in Iraq. So I thought it might be funny to poke a little fun at all the political tension surrounding the U.S.
I bought a plain white t-shirt and used my travel partner’s red and sliver sharpies to decorate what would be my costume: a Stupid American.In red block letters on the front we wrote “Proud to be an American” and decorated it with silver stars. But the back was the best. We giggled and hooted as we wrote “I heart oil,” I heart Big Macs,” and “I heart Texas.” We made circles with slashes through them for “Gay Rights,” and “Universal Health Care.” Inside big hearts we wrote “SUVs in L.A.,” “Britney Spears,” and “capital punishment.” We went on and on.
We thought we were clever and funny. We were wrong. I have never, ever felt so hated in my entire life as I did that night. I nearly got in a brawl with an Irish girl who told me that even if I thought I was joking, I was still 33% serious or some such nonsense. In a fit of desperation I pulled the “But I’m Canadian!” line, and people visibly relaxed and maybe even laughed a bit, until they realized I was lying. Apparently it’s okay to make fun of Americans if you’re not American — but if you are a U.S. citizen anything you say and do will be held against you. I learned the hard way.
I tried turning the shirt inside out, but the letters bled through. Eventually, a British guy suggested that if my guesthouse was close by, I should just go back and change. In tears, I did.
So, what’s the lesson to be learned here? First, I discovered just how much the rest of the world (at least Europe and Australia, which is where the bulk of the other travelers were from) really, really disagree with U.S. politics. Enough that they were willing to throw punches at me for what my citizenship represents — even though I didn’t vote for Bush nor do I support his policies. I don’t eat at McDonald’s and I don’t feel like I have a right (or a need) to drive a huge SUV. Second, I learned that no matter what my political leanings are, I’ve still got to answer for my country — and that’s no easy task. In the end, I really was a stupid American.
And finally, I learned that wearing kitty ears, which my friend Jen always travels with (see photo), is a much safer way to celebrate Halloween abroad.