Drunk on vacation? Don’t harass people, or someone will set fire to your penis!

by Scott Carmichael on

Here is a story that is bound to make you think twice about harassing the locals when you are drunk.

When 20 year old Stuart Feltham tried to assault a 26 year old local girl on the Greek island of Crete, she first politely asked him to stop.

Like most people, she was not impressed by a drunk British tourist dropping his pants and waving his genitals around.

Her requests went unanswered, so she poured a glass of Sambuca on him. Even that wasn’t enough for this guy to get the message, and when he continued harassing her, she set fire to the alcohol (and his genitals) – causing severe second degree burns.

Mr. Feltham was rushed to a private clinic where he is being treated. Thankfully he was smart enough to pay for travel insurance, and his policy had no exclusions for burned penis.

The British Home Office (like our State Department) is of course embarrassed by the whole thing, especially since they have been campaigning to reduce the number of Brits getting in trouble when they are abroad.

Reveling tourists are such an annoyance to local residents of Crete, that Miss Fanouraki is being called a hero. She’s claiming self defense and the local magistrate has already hinted that they’ll most likely accept that, and let her off easy.

Lesson learned today: no means no, and when someone pours flammable liquid on your private parts, run to the bathroom for water.
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Listen to Times Online’s eco-holiday discussion today!

by Brenda Yun on

The Times (UK) is launching a new series of online chats with a discussion on green travel this morning at 8 a.m. EST (1 p.m. London time). Richard Hammond and Jeremy Smith, co-authors of ‘Clean Breaks’ the new Rough Guide to eco-friendly holidays, will answer questions on green travel.

Richard Hammond, the founder of www.greentraveller.co.uk and the co-author of Clean Breaks – 500 new ways to see the world’ will answer questions and recommend fun holidays that tick the right green boxes. Hammond also wrote an article about 10 green trips for The Times last week, which was based on his Clean Breaks book. He wrote a second article for Times Online on the ‘opposition’ – his five favourite green travel guidebooks.

Jeremy Smith, the former Editor of The Ecologist and co-author of ‘Clean Breaks’ will also be on hand to give advice. They will be joined by Steve Keenan, Times Online Travel Editor and Ginny McGrath, Times Online Assistant Editor.

To join the discussion, go to http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/travel/holiday_type/green_travel/article6741434.ece.

Owner books entire business class cabin for scared pooch

by Scott Carmichael on

Buying more than one seat for yourself on your flight is nothing special – some people are even forced to do it. But to book an entire cabin just for yourself and your pooch – that is one I’d never heard of before.

That is exactly how a lady dealt with her scared dog last week.

Apparently her boxer is scared of flying, and fellow passengers freak the little four legged friend out a bit – so his owner purchased all 16 business class seats on her Tel Aviv – Paris flight (and back). At $2000 per round trip, that equals a “mere” $32,000, or about the same as a decent size family car.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m not against a little extra love for pets, and I can understand that some people will go to extreme lengths to keep their poodles happy, but to fork over an additional $30,000 just to keep the poor thing from freaking out, is just too much.

Me? I’d be more interested in knowing whether I can get the frequent flier points for all 32 seats.

Naples hires ex-cons as tour guides

by Aaron Hotfelder on

Anyone who’s read Roberto Saviano’s acclaimed book Gomorrah or seen the chilling film of the same name is already familiar with the notorious Neopolitan criminal organization called the Camorra. This massive enterprise, the oldest criminal group in Italy, makes its money mostly by trafficking drugs, illegally dumping toxic waste, and extorting money, and it’s more than willing to eliminate those who try to stand in its way.

So it makes sense that the city of Naples is offering jobs to recently-released prisoners in an attempt to keep them away from offering their services to the Camorra. But the exact job some of the ex-cons are being given might surprise you: They’re becoming tour guides.

The program, called ‘Esco-Dentro’ (‘Exit-Inside’), aims to reintegrate former inmates into society by providing them jobs, from street sweepers to sanitation workers to, yes, city tour guides.

So how are the guides doing so far? According to an article in the Global Post, the men ‘look like tourist guides, but have a hard time acting like them. Most speak only Italian, have never heard of personal space and give out tourist brochures as aggressively as a street vendor peddles stolen goods.’

On the plus side, the guides are apparently quite good at helping tourists find good pizza and avoid pickpockets. Go figure.

Whole thing here. Check out a New York Times review of the haunting, almost-too-real film Gomorrah here.

Latvia fed up with “English pigs” – creates anti-Brit police force

by Scott Carmichael on

The Latvian capital city of Riga is home to a lot of beautiful things, and I’m not just talking about their stunning blonde women.

Sadly, a lot of that beauty is being spoiled by British tourists who don’t understand how to behave when abroad. The mayor of Riga complains about large groups of drunk Brits screaming and taking over the local bars and strip clubs.

One local resident went on record to say “They are drunk by the time they get off the plane and they don’t sober up again until they go back home three days later”.

One British organization even offers full package deals of “strip clubs and shooting” where stag party revelers can get lap dances and then shoot a couple of rounds with an AK-47, all for just $260.

Apparently the extreme low cost of flying within Europe has brought out some of the worst the UK has to offer, forcing the mayor to take some drastic measures. Starting this week, a dedicated division of the Riga police will be on the lookout for British tourists who take their fun a little too far. One man has already spent 3 days in jail for peeing on the Latvian national monument, so they obviously are not joking around. Oh, and the phrase “English pigs”? That is how the Latvian interior minister referred to these tourists. Classy.