Conservatives, Pack Your Bags! Liberal-Free Travel Has Arrived

Some people like risks when they travel. Others don’t want to take any chances that their entire hard-earned vacation will be ruined by angry, bitter, close-minded companions – you know, liberals.

That’s the philosophy behind Conservative Tours, a Boston-based company not to be confused with conservation-related tourism. It’s led by political pundit Ken Chase, a 2006 Republican candidate for the Senate who lost to Ted Kennedy. Chase really can’t stand what he calls “Cambridge democrats.” He certainly doesn’t want to travel with them and figured there was money to be made by making sure people aren’t forced to do so.

In an interview with Outside magazine, Chase describes his demographic as “Americans who are easy going, affable, nice, better with their time and money, and of good humor. So, they’re kind of the opposite of the Cambridge democrat.” An avid traveler who speaks French, Chase organizes escorted tours of Western Europe for people of his political persuasion. “I wanna spend four- or five-thousand dollars on a luxury tour to be with somebody who’s pleasant,” he tells the author after combatively badgering him to say that liberals assume gay-marriage opponents are homophobes.

“You’re pretending to be dumb because you don’t want to answer the question because you know what the answer is,” Chase tells him, pleasantly.Chase assumes conservatives (and only conservatives) are interested in landmarks related to the U.S. military, so he works in visits to D-Day beaches in France and an American military cemetery in Italy. After all, he says, “You know what [liberals] think of the military.” And he avoids places that are “not the kind of destination that conservatives are attracted to,” such as Cannes. Don’t worry; his trips are more fun than they sound. “Once in a while we lighten up and have a good-old pizza night,” the company’s website says of its Italy itinerary.

Otherwise, Chase tells Outside, politics have nothing to do with the company’s travel experience, which always includes first-class airfare. It’s simply about being with “people who are like-minded politically.” Based on the interview, that means if you like to refer to our sitting president as “Barack Hussein Obama,” you’re the kind of “tolerant… normal… pleasant… thoughtful… traditional” person welcome to book with Conservative Tours.

Have an enlightening time!

[Photo credit: Flickr user Chiaralily]

Notre Dame De Paris: 850 Years?

Gargoyles glare down from the towers of Notre Dame as a motorcycle speeds up a ramp and tears into the air, arcing like a flying buttress, its spinning wheels dropping inches from terrified tourists and the sculpture-encrusted façade of the world’s most famous, most beloved, most reinvented and most mobbed cathedral.

The fantasy flashed through my irreverent mind as I clambered among joyous crowds seated on the temporary wooden bleachers and ramp that will face the cathedral until the end of this year. Worshippers wept and sang as cameras clicked, buzzed and whirred. Bliss and bafflement filled me.

We’d watched the carpenters build the ungainly platform, a here-today-gone-tomorrow structure so at odds with the solid pile of stone 100 feet in front of it. We’d hoped, vainly, that it would recreate the medieval maze of narrow streets that stood here until Emperor Napoleon III and Baron Haussmann wiped the slate in the mid-1800s to make the cathedral’s wide, modern square.

Script large enough for a par-blind skeptic like me to read declared that Notre Dame Cathedral was 850 years old this year, 2013. I wrestled the numbers back to 1163 and smiled a Gioconda smile. You had to wonder how many of today’s hallowed stones, sculpted or squared, had actually been part of this ecclesiastical flagship as it rose from 1163 to 1345, the date of its putative completion.Perhaps the foundation stone was authentic? It would be the now-invisible one laid, we’re told, by Bishop Maurice de Sully. He was the gleeful visionary who demolished the Romanesque church that had stood here for about 800 years when he took over. Added to the tally, that brought us back to the fourth century AD, which seemed about right. The first Christian church on this site would have been built after Paris’ masters in Rome switched from a Pagan pantheon to the great bearded patriarch and his virgin in the sky.

But what might a mole find underneath the 1,650-year-old Romanesque church? Why, a modest little Roman temple, perhaps, and maybe an ancient Gallic one underneath it for good measure.
Everyone knew that Notre Dame Cathedral, that paragon of the Gothic, was merely the spire-studded icing on a layer cake of architecture, history, and myth. All you had to do was clamber down into the archeological crypt facing the cathedral to see its profane underside: ancient Roman or Romanesque foundations, a third-century city wall, medieval hovels, roads and even sewers.

Everyone also knew that the current incarnation of Notre Dame was reconstituted from a ruin in the 19th-century (and restored again and again in decades to follow). The sculptures were fakes — copies or replacements of sculptures looted in the French Revolution or destroyed by weathering and acid rain. The main spire was an extravagant falsehood, put there by architect Viollet-le-Duc. He was the genial fellow who “restored” the cathedral not to any historic reality, but to capture what he considered the quintessence of the medieval.

In fact nearly everything inside and outside Notre Dame is a copy or a replacement or the result of Romantic 19th-century fantasies lifted from the pages of Victor Hugo’s The Hunchback of Notre-Dame. It was this wild, violent, irreligious novel published in 1831 that saved the cathedral from the wrecker’s ball. Hugo’s lusty tale was pure invention, like other inspiring tales, and buildings full of wonder, and it’s a story that plays well to this day.

The real miracle is, despite its fakeness, despite the fables, lacunae and inaccuracies, despite the crowds and souvenirs and flashing cameras, Notre Dame still has magic.

When my wife and I set out from Paris to the Pyrenees on foot, a pair of skeptic pilgrims, we began nearby at the Saint-Jacques Tower on Paris’s ancient Roman road. But our first stop was Notre Dame. How now? Can freethinkers be moved by a rebuilt pile atop layers of unbelievable fiction?

Absolutely: You would have to be a brute, or an imaginary stuntman on a tricked-out motorcycle, to not be moved by Notre Dame.

The ramp and bleachers and viewing platform, and the Catholic propaganda, may be ridiculous, useless or offensive to some. But as we stood in line like thousands of others, and finally entered the forest of limestone columns illuminated by ethereal, glass-filtered light, we were glad to be mere skeptics, not cynics. We were delighted to revere this draughty old barn full of windy words precisely because everything about it is a peerless, perennial fake.

Author and private tour guide David Downie’s latest critically acclaimed books are Paris, Paris: Journey into the City of Light, soon to be an audiobook, and Paris to the Pyrenees: A Skeptic Pilgrim Walks the Way of Saint James. His Paris Time Line app will be published in March: www.davidddownie.com and www.parisparistours.com.

[Photo credit: Alison Harris]

Video: Man Vs. Metro

Ever been on a subway train so slow you thought you could walk there faster? A man in Paris decided to see if he could run from one metro station to the next, catching the same train he just got off. With a camera strapped to his head and friends documenting his race from the street and the train, the anonymous Frenchman tries to run between the Cluny-La Sorbonne and Odéon stations. The stations are close together, but he has to navigate a busy street crossing, stairs, and the turnstile when he re-enters the metro, plus, you know, outrun a train. Watch the split-screen video to see if he catches the next train.

Photo of the Day: Love Locks in Paris

Paris is a romantic city. The architecture, the lights, the food, the language; it’s hard to deny that this city is a place for love.

One of the classic expressions of romance in the City of Light is the collection of love padlocks on some of Paris’ most classic bridges. Love locks are a simple thing: a couple writes their names on a padlock, locks it to one of the bridges, and if they are really committing to everlasting love, throws the key into the Seine.

The weight of love in Paris is so big that a few years ago, town hall was concerned about the influence of the locks on the city’s architectural integrity, and one night, all of the thousands of locks were cut down – although the culprit remains unknown. But even French bureaucracy can’t win in the battle of love, and locks returned, in all colors and sizes.

You’ll find the biggest assortment on Pont des Arts and Pont de l’Archevêché (which bridge you choose depends on which type of love you are trying to express), where Flickr user jrodmanjir snapped this photo.

Have your own travel photos that capture a special moment? Submit them to the Gadling Flickr Pool for a chance to be featured on Photo of the Day.

[Photo Credit: jrodmanjir]

The World’s Prettiest Destination Tunnels

Size matters – with tunnels, anyway. Most lists of the world’s most spectacular designs pant over the longest passageways, like Norway’s Laedral Tunnel, currently the record-holder at 15.25 miles.

But beauty before distance, I say. Give me the arched canopy of tart pink cherry trees in Bonn, Germany, over a cold engineering marvel anytime. Or Shanghai’s psychedelic light show inside the Bund Sightseeing Tunnel (pictured above). Or a simple rock cutaway in South Dakota with a million-dollar view. To that end – short trip though it may be – here’s a photo tour of the most striking destination tunnels.

Cherry Blossoms in Bonn, Germany
There’s something poetic about the very existence of tree tunnels, formed by nature instead of built to conquer it.


[Photo credit: K.A.I. via Flickr]

Rua Gonçalo de Carvalho in Porto Alegre, Brazil
This high-reaching green carpet in the middle of the city, formed by more than 100 tipuana trees pressing up against tall buildings for several blocks, was at risk of being uprooted to make way for more development before residents won a fight to preserve it. Now the tree tunnel is a protected heritage and environmental site.


[Photo credit: Ander Vaz via Flickr] For more leafy canopies, see World Geography’s photo gallery of tree tunnels.

Custer State Park in South Dakota
Three tunnels on the Iron Mountain Road scenic drive frame a view of Mt. Rushmore in the distance, like a spyglass. They are also cut out just wide enough for a motor coach to squeeze through.


[Photo credit: Devin Westhause via Flickr]

Bund Sightseeing Tunnel in Shanghai
A light show flashes along video walls that line the entire length of this tunnel connecting two major sights, and kids love it.


[Photo credit: Thewamphyri1 via Flickr]

Traboules in Lyon, France
These ancient passageways in the old quarter and the Croix-Rousse stretch the definition of “tunnel,” but we can make room for such graceful architectural details, and history – the French used them to elude the German occupation during World War II.


[Photo credit: Emmrichard via Flickr]

Have you visited any of these beauties, or others that belong on the list?

[Top photo credit: Synchroni via Flickr]