Funny man, faux conservative Stephen Colbert of the Colbert Report want to help you with your summer plans. Those plans, says Colbert, should most definitely NOT include a trip to Europe. Or at least this is the sage advice offered to young folks who might be leaving college and considering Europe as the place to go to learn about themselves and the world. Seems he is basing the advice on some personal experiences from his own past, which I (so sorry) have nicked from the Worldhum site and post in its less-than-entirety here (Colbert was apparently traveling with a randy young buck named Ted and…
“Ted is so certain you’re going to get some action even though the girls keep chatting up these French bastards. Ted is such a fool! So finally you say f*** this noise and you leave. But then you get back to your hostel and your backpack is stolen along with your Walkman and your Siouxsie and the Banshees tapes. So you wait up all night for Ted because you just want to catch the first train the hell out of there. But he doesn’t even breeze in until 9 a.m. and they close the hostel at 8. You’re kicked out on the street. Turns out he hooked up with some girl and they were so drunk they crashed with these Arab guys who live over by that Jim Morrison cemetery. It’s just ridiculous. I didn’t get any action all summer. Bottom line: There’s nothing in Europe you can’t see here. One word: Epcot.”
Even though I am a semi-avid fan of the Colbert report (less so, I must confess, than the Daily Show with John Stewart) I somehow missed this episode. But Worldhum called my attention to it, and I thought it a wee too funny and apropos not to post. I haven’t been able to track the video down myself, but like Worldhum, am waiting for Youtube to give it some cyberlife. Here’s the video. But for those of us who did our own self-discovery tours in Europe, the Colbert monologue strikes an all too familiar note. Does it not?
(via Worldhum)