Galley Gossip: Barfing on a plane – the do’s and don’ts

by Heather Poole on

1. Don’t fly – if you feel sick before boarding a flight, talk to an agent about rebooking on a later flight. Trust me, it’s better to be sick in the terminal than on an airplane. At least in the terminal you can leave. Once on the plane you’re stuck.

2. Don’t ask to sit in first class – On a recent flight during boarding, a passenger told me she felt ill and then immediately asked if there were any first class seats available. Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you can sit in first class.

3. Do locate the barf bag – As soon as you feel nauseous look inside the seat back pocket in front of you for a barf bag. Because you may not have one. It’s amazing just how many have been transformed into hats (pictured), dresses, ipod holders, gum holders, trash bags, or used as paper for writing letters.

4. Do tell a flight attendant – Don’t wait until the last minute to inform a flight attendant you’re not feeling well. Tell us ASAP! This way we’ll be able to take better care of you. We’ll even give you something bigger to throw up in. Those little barf bags are not large enough for projectile vomiting. Trust us, we know.

5. Do sit near the front of the aircraft – Mix an upset stomach with a little turbulence and you’ve got a recipe for disaster. The front of the aircraft is always a lot less bumpy than the back. Just make sure to ring your call light and tell a flight attendant what’s going on before it gets too bumpy to move you to another seat!6. Do get comfortable – Recline your seat and if possible, turn the air vent on high. If you’re feeling clammy, a flight attendant will bring you a cold, wet towel to place on the back of your neck.

7. Do drink soda – Without ice. On my last flight a doctor informed the crew that Coke works better than Ginger Ale. “The syrup has medicinal properties,” she said. Make sure to get rid of the bubbles (carbonation) first by stirring or pouring the liquid from one plastic cup to another before serving it to a sick passenger.

8. Do eat something – Think white; bread, dinner rolls, biscuits, crackers, whatever. Take small bites and eat slowly.

9. Don’t barf on others – Once a passenger barfs on another there’s usually a chain reaction. This is a flight attendant’s worst nightmare. A friend of mine had a little boy on board who vomited on several passengers as he ran to the lavatory. Soon there were 40 other passengers joining in.

10. Don’t barf in first class – On my last flight a woman ran all the way from coach to first class and then locked herself in the lav for thirty minutes. We were on a 757. There’s only one bathroom in first class. The cockpit never got a potty break.

11. Do discard barf properly – When that same sick passenger finally exited the lav, she attempted to hand me a warm bag of barf. We were in the middle of the meal service. Please, I beg you, discard barf in the proper location, the trash receptacle located in the lavatory.

12. Don’t be embarrassed – flight attendants deal with sick passengers all the time. It’s no big deal. Just about everyone has felt sick on an airplane at some time or other, and if they haven’t their time is coming. Remember to lend them your barf bag.

13. Ask for a wheelchair – Before the airplane lands, tell a flight attendant you’d like to have a wheelchair meet the flight. This way you won’t have to walk through the terminal if you’re still feeling badly.

14. Don’t fly – Got a connecting flight? Go back to number one and stop there!

Photo courtesy of Gthills and Ben Howes

Galley Gossip: Blocked ears – how to ease the pain in flight

by Heather Poole on

You’re on a flight trying to get a little rest when the kid whose been kicking your seat for the last half hour suddenly begins to scream.You do what any normal passenger would do and spin around, shooting the parents an evil look. When that doesn’t work you ring your flight attendant call light and ask the attendant if perhaps she can help, all the while thinking thank God we’re landing soon. What the heck is wrong with that kid!

Blocked ears. Altitude changes increase air pressure as the plane lowers. The change in pressure pushes the eardrum inward. Because children have relatively narrow Eustachian tubes, they may not function as effectively as an adults’, especially if they’re clogged by an inflammation or ear infection. Blocked ears can cause severe pain, dullness in hearing, and can occasionally lead to hearing loss.

What a parent can do

  1. Don’t allow the child to sleep during descent
  2. Find something to suck on; a bottle, pacifier, gum or hard candy
  3. Postpone any future air travel if a cold, sinus infection, or allergy attack is present.
  4. Ignore the jerk seated in front of you.

What to do when your own ears hurt

  1. Steam helps. Many passengers will ask for wads of hot wet paper towels stuffed inside plastic cups that are then placed over the ears. The steam seeps from the cloth through the cup and into the ear. But because so many people have been burned using this technique, flight attendants (at my airline) no longer do this.
  2. Chew gum or constantly swallow or yawn during descent. This allows the muscles in the Eustachian tube to contract and open, equalizing the pressure. When you hear a clicking noise, you’ll know it’s working.
  3. Use a nasal spray or decongestant. When you’re feeling congested, use it a few hours before the flight and also an hour before landing.
  4. Do the Valsalva maneuver. This is the best way to clear clogged ears. Pinch your nose and close your mouth while forcibly exhaling through your nostrils. Continue to do this periodically until landing.Once on the ground do not use Valsalva maneuver.

Are your ears bothering you after a flight? Do what I do and try taking taking a hot steamy shower and drink plenty of hot tea. If plagued with ear pressurization problems, invest in a pair of disposable ear plugs like EarPlanes which can be found online and at local pharmacies in sizes for both adults and children, and don’t leave home without them!

Photo courtesy of TomD

Galley Gossip: Goodies for the crew

by Heather Poole on

I’m taking a trip next week to Las Vegas. Is there anything I can bring the flight attendants and pilots as a little token of my appreciation. You guys work a really hard job. I just saw the Capitalism Micheal Moore movie and I had no idea that pilots and flight attendants got such a raw deal from their employers. I thought about making cookies or muffins? Any ideas would be great – Tina B.

Thank you for thinking of us, Tina, that’s really nice of you! But you don’t have to bring us anything for doing our jobs. Except maybe a smile. A little eye contact goes a long way, too. You’d be surprised what a difference that makes in this day and age of travel when passengers rarely acknowledge our greetings during boarding and won’t remove their headphones when we’re trying to ask them what they’d like to drink. Don’t even get me started on passengers who actually say please and thank you! When I hear those simple words I can’t help but provide nonstop refills on drinks. No joke, tears just about came to my eyes on a recent flight when a little girl named Fallyn made the crew a thank you card for being nice and making her feel so comfortable.

“You must work for an airline,” I said to Fallyn’s father with a knowing wink.

He looked at me funny. “No. Why?”

Because it was the nicest thing I’d heard in a long time!I’m not alone. When my coworker spotted Fallyn’s card hanging up in the aft galley, he told me about the time a kid on one of his flights drew a picture of him, Cart Man. My colleague actually had the picture made into a magnet and to this very day – fifteen years later – it still hangs on his fridge. Little things really do mean a lot.

If you really want to bring something edible for the crew, make sure it’s wrapped and sealed. I’d hate for you to waste money on those who might be afraid to eat anything for fear it might not be safe. That’s why candy is always a good choice. Julie, creator of Jet Line Clothing, brought the last five crews York Peppermint Patties. A Delta flight attendant, and prettiest laviator, never commutes home without Toblerones. I’ve had pilots bring donuts and frequent fliers (regulars) hand out everything from chocolate covered strawberries to gold hoop earrings (on Christmas). I’ve even received coupons to fast food joints and a five-dollar gift card to Starbucks. Recently a passenger gave me a pen. It’s my favorite pen. I keep it in my uniform blazer pocket. Oh and discarded magazines always make my day!

Whatever you decide to bring for the crew will be appreciated. Trust me! And watch how quickly your beverage gets refilled.

Whenever I bring treats for the crew, I’m never sure how to distribute the goodies. It’s easiest to hand it to the flight attendant at the front as I’m boarding and mention it’s for the entire crew, though I’m usually in coach. I’m often on regional jets and it’s unusual to have more than two flight attendants. I assume they’ll share (and with cockpit crew too) but I never know. – Mickey

Not only will it be easier on you to pass off the goodies to the flight attendant at the boarding door, it’s easier on us as well. With airplanes being turned around quickly, full flights staffed with minimum crew, and not enough bins for all that luggage, boarding can get very hectic. When things calm down the flight attendant working the front of the aircraft will let the rest of the crew know that a passenger brought something special for them. But go ahead and let a flight attendant working in the back know you brought something for the crew. Not only will this ensure that everyone shares, it also lets us know WHO brought the treats on board so we can be sure to thank the correct person.

Now you’d think that flight attendants would automatically share with pilots, but that rarely happens. At my airline, flight attendants working domestic routes don’t get catered meals. Basically we either eat what we’ve brought from home or first class passenger leftovers. But pilots still get meals on select routes. Therein lies the problem. So if you’re bringing a food item for the crew and you’d like the pilots to also have some, make sure to let the flight attendants know. And when you do so get as close to the cockpit as possible and yell really loudly. That said, flight attendants and pilots tend to get along better at smaller airlines. They treat each other more like family. Probably because they fly together more often and lay over in the same hotels, forcing everyone to be on their best behavior.

Photo courtesy of Thundershead

Galley Gossip: Captain A-rod and the cat lady from hell!

by Heather Poole on

I should have known it was going to be a weird flight when the captain introduced himself as A-rod. Short, round and graying, he stood in the galley massaging the shoulders of a tense looking flight attendant. When the agent walked on board with paperwork, the flight attendant quickly slid out of A-rod’s reach and eagerly asked. “Ready to board?”

Boarding, for a flight attendant, is the most hectic and difficult phase of flight, and would you believe we’re not even getting paid until the aircraft door is closed and the airplane backs away from the gate! It’s true. What makes it stressful is the pressure to get full flights staffed with minimum crew out on time. No longer are there extra flight attendants floating around to help passengers the way there once was years ago. Either we’re setting up a galley or keeping an eye on our exit doors. And by the time a full load settles into their seats and flight attendants can finally move freely up and down the aisle, we’re usually just a few minutes away from taxiing out.

Enter the cat lady. I spotted her right away during the boarding process. Now I love cats. I even own a sixteen pound Maine Coon named Gatsby, so I’m a bit of a cat lady myself. What I don’t love are – not passengers who bring on board pets that don’t fit under the seat in front of them (it happens), but passengers who don’t tell us when their pets don’t fit under the seat until the last minute, like a woman did on a flight a few years ago! That cat wound up in the first class coat closet for take off. So when I spotted this newest cat lady with a large hard case carrier, I asked if it would fit under the seat in front of her.”It should,” she said matter of fact. “I went to the airline’s website to check the measurements under the seat.”

Sounded good to me.

Well not only did the carrier not fit under the seat, an aisle seat, nobody with a middle seat wanted to split from their traveling companion. Cat lady turned red. In the aisle she stood yelling at me because my airline had “lied” to her and now I needed to make things right! Honestly, I was trying, but she wasn’t making it easy screaming at me like that. To make matters worse, the agent started making a PA asking everyone – her – to take their seats. That’s when it seemed like just about everybody seated in a five row radius began claiming to have severe cat allergies.

Quickly I walked up the aisle to report what was going on to the captain and the frazzled agent, but along the way a passenger waved me down to ask if his dog had been boarded. He’d seen it sitting in its crate on the tarmac and was worried. I told him I’d be right back.

“If the guy with the dog is wearing a red baseball cap, I already told him his dog was on board,” said A-rod. “It’s a big brown dog, right?”

I had no idea what it looked like, and was just about to tell him so when the agent interrupted us and asked, “Are you going to take the delay Captain?”

A delay is bad news at an airline. And someone has to take the heat. This is why flight attendants and agents start making back to back PA’s asking passengers to step into the aisle when stowing their bags and to take their seats as quickly as possible for an on time departure. Otherwise fingers start pointing. Flight attendants, gate agents, mechanics, cabin cleaners, we’re all guilty of trying to place the blame on another department. Get docked with too many delays and one could very well lose their job. It’s that serious.

I didn’t wait to hear A-rod’s response, I quickly walked back to coach and asked the dog owner if his dog was big and brown. He just looked at me. Then he told me the breed, as if that meant something to me. I tried again. “Is that breed of dog normally big and brown?”

He smirked. “Yeah.”

“Your dog is on the plane.” One down, one more to go.

Only when I finally reached the cat lady, I couldn’t believe what I saw. Somehow, I don’t know how, the other flight attendants had moved passengers around in order to accomodate the cat under a middle seat. In doing so, the cat lady now had an entire row all to herself.

Just as I started to relax, a passenger tugged on my sleeve. “Excuse me, Miss, I want to know what that woman paid for her seat!”

I started to tell him I had no idea what she paid for her seat, or what anyone paid for that matter, when another passenger piped in with, “Did she buy one seat or three?”

Across the aisle a woman yelled, “I don’t think it’s fair that she gets her own row while the rest of us have to suffer!”

On the verge of a mutiny, I tried calming the passengers down. It wasn’t easy. Did I happen to mention we hadn’t even taken off yet? And that boarding sets the tone for the flight? Oh yeah. Welcome aboard. Now where the heck was A-rod when you really needed a massage?

Tips for traveling with pets on the plane:

1. Book flights early. Only a certain number of pets are allowed in the cabin at one time.

2. Check the airline’s website for pet policies and maximum dimensions for carriers. (21 inches long X 13 to 16 inches wide X 9 inches high seems to be the standard)

3. Purchase a flexible pet carrier or “bag” as these tend to fit better under seats than hard case carriers. (If checking a pet in cargo, only hard case carriers are accepted.)

4. Choose a middle or window seat, as the space under aisle seats tend to be narrower.

5. Pets are required to stay inside their carriers throughout the flight. Make sure it’s ventilated on both sides.

6. Line the carrier with an absorbent material like “puppy pads” in case of an accident.

7. Make sure your pet is wearing an identification tag.

8. Personalize your pet. Put a sign on the carrier that reads, “Hi, I’m a cat and my name is____ . This is my first flight.”



Photos courtesy of Erica.Hargreave

Galley Gossip: 10 deep, dark, dirty, hotel secrets

by Heather Poole on

How dirty is your hotel room? Very. Surely you’ve seen those undercover news reports where investigators use a black light to show us things we never wanted to see like body fluids all over the walls and bedding. And what about the video clips of house cleaners unknowingly being filmed using the same rag they used to clean the toilet rim on the bathroom counter. One news team even caught a maid spraying Windex inside a drinking glass – and she didn’t wipe it off!

Now you understand why flight attendants never touch the duvet and wash out the mugs in scalding hot soapy water before drinking coffee! I have a flight attendant friend who covers the television remote with a shower cap and wouldn’t be caught dead walking around her bare feet. But hotels aren’t the only ones to blame. What about hotel guests?

Hotels are a lot like airplanes in that people do things they would never in a million years do at home, like leave wet towels all over the floor. Even I have a deep dark dirty secret that only happens at layover hotels. Two words. Tanning lotion. I’d hate to stain my own white sheets a slight shade of orange. I’ve heard rumors of flight attendants using coffee pots to clean pantyhose. Not so sure I believe that. But one flight attendant told me he uses the pot to heat up soup. I’ve tried using it to make oatmeal but it turned out completely inedible. Better doublecheck the bottom of the iron before pressing it against your nice white shirt since it may have been used to make grilled cheese sandwich. Did you know you can even heat up restaurant leftovers using an iron and a little tin foil? It’s true.

Well all of this got me thinking. Besides the obvious of course, I couldn’t help but wonder what other kinds of disgusting things people were doing in hotels rooms. So I sent out a tweet asking people to confess their deep, dark, dirty, hotel secrets. The responses came pouring in, many of which I’m unable to share here. We’re keeping it clean, people!Hotel patrons share 10 deep, dark, dirty secrets:

1. I let my kids run around without a diaper on. I’m a mother of three. Accidents happen.

2. I “borrow” the towels.

3. Bodily fluids and what not (toe jam) I’ve left on the underside of furniture, bottom of desk, and above top dresser drawer

4. Supergluing the toilet freebies to the counter and the hangers to the rack is fun.

5. Hide all the $5 water bottles in the closet. On the last day put them all back and then deny the charges at the front desk.

6. Towels under the door plus a hot shower equals a free sauna.

7. I don’t want any accidental stains in my home bathroom so I only color my hair in hotels.

8. Those huge mirrors with the bright lights are great for plucking, especially gray hairs. You can get a great back view with some of those door mirrors!

9. Booked a hotel room just so I could use the swimming pool for my daughters fifth birthday party. The hotel found out and was kind enough to let us use the conference room to eat cake and open presents.

10. I leave the bathroom a mess on purpose so the maids have to give it a good scrub for the next guest!