One for the Road: Our Dumb World – Onion’s Atlas

I just finished listening to some short clips from the audio book version of the Onion’s new atlas of planet earth, aptly titled Our Dumb World. After a short introduction, it begins: “Here are audio clips from some of the countries that matter – France: One nation above God.” It goes on to share important facts about France that you really ought to know. For example, that the leading cause of death is turtle neck asphyxiation. It doesn’t get any nicer. While rattling off the facts about Bolivia, the narrator stops to blow a line of cocaine.

In true Onion style, the book prides itself on offering up incorrect statistics on all of the Earth’s independent nations. (They’re just not sure how many there are.) And they guarantee that once you finish listening to the audio book or reading the hardcover, you will, of course, be the smartest person in your dorm room, carpool or cell block. This is anything but your average atlas.

Historic hotels offer haunted hospitality

Several of the National Trust’s historic hotels are famous for more than just their unique interiors and architecture. The Night Shift Nurse haunts the halls of Baltimore’s Admiral Fell Inn and the ghost of a young woman who never checked out of the Hotel del Coronado lingers at the San Diego landmark. In fact, the Trust has compiled a rather lengthy list of ghostly tales from haunted hotels across the US. There are stories of unrequited love, culinary capers, holy spirits, past life experiences and other unexplainable mysteries of the paranormal.

You could spend every Halloween from here on out visiting these possessed places! And if you’re really eager to get in on the action soon, several of the hotels are offering spooky deals beyond next Wednesday’s holiday. The Hotel Bethlehem in PA embraces its “permanent guest” with a Rooms with a Boo weekend, November 2- 4; The Hotel Galvez in Galveston will offer its phantom package through December, and the Windsor Hotel in Americus, GA will keep guests guessing during two Murder Mystery weekends in January and February 2008. More info on all historic hotel packages can be found here.

Every urban transit map in the world

Directed at what USA Today calls “urban transit freaks and fans” — the more arcane the transit system, the better — the new book Transit Maps of the World: The World’s First Collection of Every Urban Train Map on Earth, by Mark Ovenden (Penguin, $25) has just what the title promises: every urban train map on Earth.

Small, large, light rail, mononrail, and underground — no system has been left out. More than 200 cities are included, and with each map comes a brief history and “an explanation of the challenges involved in creating both the physical rail system and the visual guide to it.” Also incorporated are historical maps and proposed concepts for future maps.

The book was originally published in the United Kingdom, but has been updated and released in the U.S. today.

How to flag a cab in Russia

By the time I had been in Russia two days, I was thoroughly unimpressed with the Communism that I had seen. I had expected to see dilapidated buildings, sad old junker cars, an unhappy, slow people and general drudgery around me. To the contrary, St. Petersburg is a cosmopolitan city replete with parks, clean city streets, beautiful architecture and fascinating people.

One of the things that did set me on edge though was the taxi system. Namely that there really isn’t one. Yes, there are a few yellow cabs that roam the streets, but for the most part people rely on gypsy cabs. I had read about gypsy cabs in doing my inadequate research on wikitravel before I left — but had immediately ruled them out.

See, years back during the Communist regime many people used to pick up riders going in the same direction for a few extra chunks of pocket change. Most drivers supplemented their meager annual salaries this way and it became fairly commonplace. Now, well into the federation years of Russia, the tradition still stands.

To flag a gypsy cab, stick your arm out at about waist height, wave it around and wait for some car (any car) to pull up and roll down its window. Negotiate your price (or, if you don’t speak Russian, show them a picture of your destination or address), jump in and off you go.

Sound safe? I didn’t think so either. In fact, the idea never even occurred to me until I had about a liter of Russian vodka in me and needed to get home at 4am. Solution? I stuck out my arm and within five cars passing a new Volkswagen Golf stopped by, I showed him a picture of our address and we were home for two dollars.

Now, in the US I can’t think of one person in one city who would be willing to do this in the middle of the day, but in the Motherland it appears to be a pretty common way to get around. I wish we trusted each other enough at home to do the same thing.

Santa Barbara pueblo hopping with J. Peterman

When things calm down in California, let’s hope you’ll still be able to consider this unique walking tour in Santa Barbara. The Conference and Visitors Bureau has created a Red Tile Walking Tour of the city’s original pueblo district, and are promoting it with a brand new video podcast. Before embarking on a trip to the American Riviera, travelers can first watch Beyond the Rooftops to get a preview of the historic adobes and distinct architectural style that characterizes Santa Barbara.

The 16-minute video gives an overview of the actual self-guided 12-block tour and is narrated by none other than John O’Hurley, best known for his role as J. Peterman on Seinfeld. The historic Santa Barbara County Courthouse serves as starting point for the tour, which includes 17 stops and 22 homes dating from the late 1700s through the 1800s. Other historic landmarks along the way include the Santa Barbara Museum of Art and the Lobero Theater.