Ryanair flight attendant moonlights in porn

by Tom Johansmeyer on

When the crew yells, “Brace!” one Ryanair flight attendant probably looks for the cameras. London tabloid The Sun (NSFW) alleges that flight attendant Edita Schindlerova (hopefully under a shorter name) moonlights in porn – on video and the web. The sexy 22-year-old also makes an appearance in the airline’s 2009 calendar.

The sultry stewardess wore a bikini and a smear of grease in the calendar, but this would be considered fully clothed at her second job. At night, she operates under the name “Edite Bente” and helps people part with their cash. Thanks to The Sun‘s investigative reporting, a tough job for some reporter, involves baring a pair of 34Bs.

The people she works for have apparently taken a more enlightened attitude than one would expect, saying, “What people do before or after they work for Ryanair, or when they’re not working for us, is entirely their own business.”

He adds a few remarks about putting the comfort and safety of passengers first (without editorializing) and makes a comment about employees being able what to do what they want on their own time, as long as their not breaking any laws. He could have stopped there and remained on the high road, but he had to keep talking: “All this proves is that the best-looking girls fly Ryanair.”

Not everybody at Ryanair, however, is on board with Edita’s calling hobby. Her secret was discovered by a fellow Ryanair employee. Schindlerova claims, “I had this shit a year ago with a pilot with nothing better to do than check the internet.”

A friend from work remarked, “We had no idea what she was up to in her spare time.” This person astutely observed, “There can’t be many airlines who have porn stars serving drinks on flights.”

I guess this is the trade-off for having to pay to use the lavatory on a flight …

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7 steps for surviving a destination wedding

by Tom Johansmeyer on

It always sounds like it’s going to be fun. Your friend is getting married somewhere exotic and has invited you to come along. What’s not to love? Really, everything. Destination weddings are recipes for disaster. They are even worse when it’s your spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend or family member who has the connection. Quickly, you find yourself surrounded by people who don’t interest you in an environment dominated by group activities.

It seems like there’s no way out. Just accept the fact that you’ll sit through many meals over several days with the same people. You’ll hear the same self-important douche hold forth over the mundane details of his unimportant life. Friends of the bride will jockey for favor in front of you. And, you’ll be somewhere incredibly interesting and unable to enjoy it … unless you follow my advice.

Before I get started, a few notes for anyone inclined to comment on this story:

  • Yes, I am lucky to be married, and no, you wouldn’t want to be married to me
  • I know you wouldn’t tolerate my behavior at your wedding
  • You’d probably kick me out (and I’d be fine with that)

Okay, my destination wedding survival tips are after the jump!
1. Become a smoker
If you aren’t a smoker yet, take up the filthy habit. It’s a great way to disappear for lengths of time that are entirely up to you. Everyone will be disgusted with you, but they probably would be anyway. So, now you have the chance to disappear for a while, and nobody will follow you because they think your habit is vile. It’s perfect! I happen to be a cigar smoker, which is even better. Nobody has any interest in coming near me, and one smoke buys me a minimum of 45 minutes of solitude.

This tactic becomes even more powerful when you combine it with one of the others, particularly bringing a book or being involved in work-related phone calls or e-mailing. These other activities give you something to do when you’re smoking. At the destination wedding I attended in Helsinki, I just called my father. When someone walked by, I put a panicked look on my face to make it look like work. I doubt anybody believed me, but I figured I got points for trying.

2. Don’t be afraid to piss off your spouse/partner
All it takes is one public argument to embarrass your reason for being at this event, and you will have a free pass for the rest of the trip. Why? There is nothing worse than fighting in front of people whose opinions matter to you. But, if you are dragged to the wedding at your partner’s behest, you have nothing to lose. One scuffle, and you can do what you want. You’ll be amazed at what your significant other will endure to avoid a public display of contempt.

You will have an unspoken strain permeating your relationship during the trip. The good news, however, is that you’ll be forgiven when you get home. Things that happen on the road tend to stay there. If you can handle a week of a mild discomfort, everything else is easy.

3. Bring something to read
This really is the apex of antisocial behavior. There is nothing quite like cracking open Mary Roach’s Spook during the wedding ceremony (funny that I can be guilty of this but not feel guilty at all). When you read at a gathering, you’re sending a pretty clear message. Nobody will bother you. They know to stay away.

Okay, since there’s no such thing as a free lunch, I’m going to suggest that you bring Best Sex Writing 2009 to the next destination wedding you’re forced to attend. There are several reasons for you to read this important work of non-fiction. First, there’s nothing like that four-letter word in a three-letter word’s body to offend everyone around you. It’s like cigar smoke on steroids. Next, actually reading the book will show you that there are many important issues regarding sexuality that should be explored. Finally, I have an essay in it. I’d like to have an essay in the 2010 volume (HINT, HINT, Rachel Kramer Bussel!).

4. Remember that you’re indispensable at work
Before I realized the power of the three tools above, I found myself at a rehearsal dinner (#1) without a cigars, (#2) while trying to keep my wife happy and (#3) sans book. Needless to say, this is the last time I let that happen while stuck at this wedding in Finland. So, I had to pretend that I was working on a critical problem for my employer … you know, the folks who “pay the bills.” It’s hard to say “no” to that! As I pecked away at my Blackberry, of course, my colleagues were getting incredibly annoyed. They actually had work to do.

For extra effect, call someone (anyone will do), and engage in some talk that sounds business-related. Then, end it with, “C’mon, man. I’m just trying to get away for a couple of days. Can’t you have [random name] handle it?” Pause, sigh and continue, “Yeah, I know it’s important. I’ll be available if you need me, but only if you need me.” Nobody will believe you (unless you’re a better liar than I am), but at least you’ll know you’ve tried to make an excuse.

Tip: If you’re phone doesn’t ring, answering it isn’t believable. So, pretend you got an e-mail asking you to call someone. Or, e-mail a co-worker and ask that he or she call you.

5. Argue with people, preferably family members of the bride or groom
If you are an awful conversationalist, nobody will want to talk to you. So, try to drive all discussions toward the big three: politics, religion and money. Make sure you are as contrarian as possible. Surrounded by conservatives? You just became a liberal! Bring up the lost promise of the Dukakis campaign. Take a stand, and make your point aggressively. Above all else, know that you are always right, and use that position of intellectual superiority to guide every interaction.

Now, you have to be careful with this one. If you are too pushy and rude, the whole thing will blow up in your face. Being left alone is a lot different from being banned from all activities. So, don’t raise your voice or insult anyone (directly). Just make it clear that you are never going to agree with whoever is stuck talking to you. Be dismissive. That way, you can poke your target without being overtly rude.

6. Avoid the shithead
You’ll always find at least one. At the last wedding I attended, there were several (one in particular was a douche with an internship who believed it mattered). Arguing with this guy (#5) will not cut your way. He’s an asshole, and because of his long ties to some schmuck involved with the wedding, he can get away with it. You can’t. Engaging this presence will only be trouble for you.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

You’ll know who the asshole is within the first hour of the multi-day destination wedding experience. Avoid him at all costs. Run to the bathroom if you must, just to wait for the coast to clear. If he’s approaching, pull out your Blackberry and pretend you just got an urgent e-mail. Just get away, and stay away.

7. Choose what to skip
Especially for some psychotic brides, everything may be scripted. So, you could wind up staring down several days in a cool place with absolutely no freedom to explore what you want. That’s bullshit. You know it; I know it. Don’t treat the itinerary as mandatory. Feel free to blow off dinners or gatherings in order to go see or do what turns you on.

My first night in Helsinki, I skipped some quasi-bachelor party (I don’t do saunas, and they don’t do strippers) to explore the city’s art galleries. It was the best night of my trip. Sure, I got some grief for not being a “team player,” but I didn’t care. I was actually happy.

Remember, ev
ery day is a struggle to preserve your sanity.

Don’t step off the plane planning to enjoy yourself. That’s not why you’re attending the destination wedding. Instead, develop little tactics for extracting what pleasure you can from the experience without damaging any relationships irreparably.

You won’t be happy, and you aren’t going to make anybody happy. Don’t try: just get by.

[Photos from Migrant Blogger]

Times Square turning pedestrian

by Brenda Yun on

If Times Square experiences traffic jams now, just wait ’til late May when the streets around the Square will be bumper-to-bumper and the sidewalks along Broadway will be filled with — not cars — but feet, and (not to mention) a lot of construction.

I know, it may be the hardest thing to imagine, but starting this Memorial Day through the end of the year, the streets surrounding New York City’s most crowded thoroughfare will be converted into a strictly pedestrian walkway.

The $1.5 million (that’s it?) project will provide green landscaping, tables and benches between 42nd and 47th streets. Currently, the number of pedestrians quadruple the number of cars in Times Square. Roughly 350,000 people pass through per day, which pretty much explains why it has one of the highest injury and death rates in Manhattan. That rate will certainly be curbed with the newer, greener look to the square.

Nearly 50 million tourists paid a visit to Times Square last year alone. With a friendlier and less dangerous feel, I imagine that number could very well increase come the new year of 2010. There will be something worth celebrating in Times Square indeed.

[via USA Today]

Snuggie Pub Crawl

by Annie Scott on


Okay. So, the Snuggie is a super-informercialicious fleece blanket. The hook? It has sleeves. As you can see in the video above, the Snuggie allows you to stay warm, but still have the use of your hands. It’s sort of like putting on a robe backwards — oh wait. No, it’s exactly like putting on a robe backwards.

In any case, here’s a reason you might actually want one: Chicago is hosting the first-ever Snuggie Pub Crawl! On Saturday, April 18, 2009, Snuggie enthusiasts from all over the world will gather in the windy city to drink beer in wearable blankets with arms. Snuggie Pub Crawl is donating its proceeds to the AC-Orphanage in Arusha, Tanzania, which rescues orphans whose parents have TB and HIV. Doesn’t that make you feel warm and fuzzy? Well, just wait till you get your Snuggie!

Sign up now, and purchase your Snuggie by February 28th to ensure it will arrive in time for this charmingly ridiculous event.

Launch party, noir night, and wanderlust mixers at Idlewild Books in NYC

by Brenda Yun on

I love being an island girl and everything, but I’ve longed to live in the Big Apple. Now there’s another great reason travel junkies who live in NYC to cheer: Idlewild Books, the hippest travel books and international literature store in the city, is offering up some cool events and mixers to wash the “stuck in the city” blues away.

Idlewild Books, New York City’s newest travel- and world-literature bookstore located on the second floor of 12 West 19th Street, caters to literary travelers seeking worldly inspiration. Books are organized by country, with guidebooks, nonfiction, and fiction mixed together.

This (Thursday, February 19th) evening at 7 p.m., Idlewild will host the READRUSSIA.COM LAUNCH PARTY, celebrating the launch of Russia! magazine’s new daily lit blog. The party is sponsored by Jewel of Russia. Russian vodka punch will be served, Russian music will be played, and Russian snacks will be available. This new website will provide broad coverage of all Russia-related topics.

Shortly following this launch party, Idlewild will host INTERNATIONAL NOIR NIGHT on Tuesday, February 24th at 7 p.m. The editors of PARIS NOIR and ROME NOIR will be on hand to engage in readings and disucssions of the latest volumes of Akashic’s terrific city noir series, which are set in Paris and Rome (obviously!).

If those two events are enough, Idlewild will be hosting WANDERLUST MIXERS in March! Where else can frequent fliers and globally-minded singles find love? In an international bookstore, of course! Tickets to these mixers can be purchased at Idlewild Books or on the store’s website, www.idlewildbooks.com. Wine and snacks and a $15 Idlewild gift card is included with each $35 ticket. The MIXER FOR STRAIGHT SINGLES AGED 25-44 is on Wednesday, March 4 at 7:30-9:30 p.m., and the MIXER FOR LGBT SINGLES AGED 25-44 will be on Wednesday, March 25, at 7:30-9:30 p.m..

I’m so excited about these Wanderlust Mixers! What a cool idea — and great way to meet some cool travel-inspired, and literary people.

Idlewild Books owner, David Del Vecchio, a much-travelled former United Nations press officer opened this independent bookstore in the Spring of 2008. If you can’t make it to one of the events listed above, there are certainly more cool soireés to come. Check the frequently updated website for the upcoming readings and activities.