Everyone I know who has spent any time in Vietnam has bemoaned how challenging it is to cross the streets there. It’s like a game of Frogger, but the stakes are much higher. This time lapse shows just how chaotic and frenetic the streets of Ho Chi Minh City actually are. The number of motorbikes along is staggering. Add to that roundabouts, limited traffic signage and pedestrians and you have yourself some organized chaos. We recommend that you look both ways (heck, look up and down while you’re at it) before crossing the street.
SkyMall Monday: Nuddle Blanket
We can tolerate a lot here at Skymall Monday. We have a soft spot for Wine Glass Holder Necklaces, adult bibs for sloppily eating in the car and, of course, the Edge Brownie Pan. Sometimes, though, products just rub us the wrong way. Sure, we can usually feign enjoyment for the sake of a joke, but not this week. Frankly, we’re at our wits’ end. Enough with novelty blankets already! The Snuggie stopped being funny years ago. The Slanket was equally terrible. Forever Lazy is an insult to the human race. Why are people so desperate for bizarre, unflattering, poorly named mutant blankets? This crap needs to stop right here, right now. No one should be wearing these things to a ball game (or anywhere outside of their homes, for that matter). No one should be wearing these things period. If you own one, throw it out. If you don’t, stop thinking about it. And if you’re looking at SkyMall, don’t even consider buying the Nuddle Blanket.The world needs another wearable blanket like David Hasselhoff needs more body hair. Do I care that the Nuddle Blanket has a special foot pocket for keeping your tootsies warm? No! Because we have socks for that. And slippers. And adjustable thermostats that can make our homes warmer. Feet don’t belong in pockets. They’re not hands!
Did you know that the Nuddle Blanket doesn’t have sleeves because sleeves would just get in your way? You know what else doesn’t have any annoying sleeves? A regular blanket! The Nuddle Blanket also has a pocket for keeping your remote control handy. You can’t just place your remote next to you on the couch. That’s would be ridiculous.
Don’t feel as angry about this as I do? Watch this sycophant drone on about the Nuddle Blanket like it just cured cancer:
The name tells it all? Really? Nuddle means to “walk quickly with the head bent forward.” That’s a thing? That requires a word? Oh, wait, apparently Nuddle is a combination of nap and cuddle. Well, now I’m nangry (nauseous and angry). I have never felt so enveloped in stupidity.
The product description isn’t doing it any favors either:
Cuddle up with the Nuddle Blanket. It has an exclusive foot pocket to keep your feet warm all year round.
Openings for your arms let you sip, read, write or text without bothersome sleeves getting in the way.
Perhaps the foot pocket is exclusive because everyone else realized that it’s a moronic idea. Also, sleeves are bothersome? Not when they’re on shirts. Sleeves are only in your way when they’re attached to blankets. And blanket with arm holes is just a torn blanket.
Enough with the novelty blankets. Sleeves, no sleeves, arm holes, pockets, whatever, we don’t care. Just stop. What happened to us? We use to build fires to keep warm. We were survivors. We were a proud people.
Say no to the Nuddle. Reject the Snuggie. Continue to be oblivious to the Slanket. Don’t be Forever Lazy. Resist the urge to be a fleece Spider-Man. Put on a pair of socks if your feet are so cold. But not those toe socks. Man, those things piss me off.
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.
How to kayak like a boss
Competitive kayaking is one of those sports like sepak takraw that just doesn’t get enough attention in lamestream media. Take this video for example. Rider of the year Taylor Robinson’s entry into Yellow Creek is a rough combination of pinball, watersports and badassery, and is the perfect example of how extreme and satisfying whitewater kayaking can be. How about some more stuff like this on ESPN instead of that World Series of Poker crap?
Artists make childhood dreams a reality with an interactive land submarine
While this submarine may not go underwater, it certainly has a lot of features. Five Ton Crane, a San Francisco Bay Area collective arts group, has created a life-sized vessel called The Nautilus in West Oakland, California, that not only has built-in iPad technology, a library, GPS navigation, hydraulic drive controls, a night vision periscope, and a full bar, but also the ability to defend against enemies with a Harpoon gun water cannon that shoots up to 13 gallons per minute.
The retro-futuristic art installation was built in line with the idea of steampunk, meaning that the submarine is a design of the past with the future in mind. Alan Rorie, one of the Five Ton Crane artists who also happens to have a Ph.D in Neuroscience from Stanford University, explains it perfectly by saying, “Let’s imagine that technology was a little bit more advanced in the Victorian and Edwardian time. What would that be like?”
While there is an emphasis on technology, the artists also make sure to focus on craftsmanship, creating a look that appears hand-built (because it is) instead of machine-made.
This isn’t the first big kid’s toy that Five Ton Crane has created. Other pieces include a gigantic tree house and the Raygun Gothic Rocketship, which is currently on display along San Francisco’s Embarcadero waterfront. If you dreamed about it as a child, chances are Five Ton Crane will make it a tangible reality.
For a better idea of the project, check out this video:
The Nautilus submarine from Oakland North on Vimeo.
Biblical bridge allows pedestrians to “walk through water” like Moses
Parting the sea is no longer a feat held just for saints and those with higher powers. Thanks to a new and innovative creation by RO & AD Architects, anyone can walk through water, just like Moses did when he parted the Red Sea.
The Moses Bridge is located in the Netherlands and gives people access to Fort de Roover, an old Dutch Fortress from the 17th century. What makes this bridge unique is the fact that the walkway that would usually go over the water is actually built under the water, making it appear as though individuals walking over it are actually “parting the sea”. Don’t worry, you’ll stay dry as the sides of the bridge extend high enough to keep the water off the footpath.
To make the project even better, the bridge is made of sustainable materials like Accoya wood, a highly durable wood that is treated with nontoxic anti-fungal coating.
On the RO & AD Architects website, the designers talk about the theory that goes into their visionary projects, stating, “We like to be aware of the consequences of our actions, which means we think about the long term effects. Also, we try to feed our practice from a theoretical background. Our theory ‘Evolution as a Strategy for Spatial Design’ is an attempt to set off a radical change in thinking about building and environmental planning, leading to a more sustainable kind of spatial development.”
To get a better idea of how the Moses Bridge works and what it looks like to cross it, check out this video: