So what if Americans misuse the Queen’s English? David Mitchell could care less.

If you’ve spent much time in the company of the British, you’ve probably been involved in one of those tired arguments about the proper spelling of color and why Americans have forsaken the entirely sensible football in favor of the word soccer. These arguments, in my experience anyway, almost never end with the two sides “agreeing to disagree.” Feelings are usually hurt, friendships are often ended, and foreign exchange programs are sometimes cut short.

So give credit to actor, comedian, and Guardian columnist David Mitchell for trying to establish some common ground between the two camps. In a new video for the Guardian website, Mitchell forgoes the “standard, tedious British sneering about lieutenents and aluminum” to embark on an English-usage crusade that even this American can endorse. Why, Mitchell asks, must Americans insist on using the phrase “I could care less” when in fact they mean precisely the opposite? “If you could care less about something,” Mitchell says, “then all you’re telling us is that you do care at least a little bit. Because you could care less… ‘I could care less’ is absolutely useless as an indicator of how much you care, because the only thing it rules out is that you don’t care at all, which is exactly what you’re trying to convey.”

You’ll find Mitchell’s humorous rant, including a discussion of the misguided phrase “hold down the fort” and a “graph of caring,” here. Also check out Mitchell’s hilarious series Peep Show on Hulu.

[HT: The peerless Anglophile Scott Harris]

Ten monkey attack videos

Seasoned travelers know that the world is full of wonders as well as occasional hazards like political unrest, diarrhea and of course, monkey attacks. Harmless and cute as they seem to tourists, these are wild animals that are not to be taken for granted.

In 2007, SS Bajwa, Indian deputy mayor of New Delhi, was killed after falling from a terrace while fighting off an angry mob of monkeys. Typically more of a problem in South Asia (India, Thailand) where Hanuman – the Hindu “monkey god” – is particularly revered, attacks by monkeys are on the rise. Luckily, most monkey attacks are more benign, or at least less lethal.

After reviewing the following collection of kung-fu chimps, playful gibbons, and roving monkey pickpocket gangs, certain “travel tips” become self-evident. Don’t provoke them. Don’t give them knives. And don’t, under any circumstances, feed the monkeys, unless you’re attempting to exchange your Ray Bans for a piece of bread. As further warning, we’ve uncovered ten monkey attack videos featured below. Don’t let this happen to you!

1) Monkeys attack Dane
Entitled “Wheee!” Or, “Dane gratuitously provokes the monkeys until they swarm him.” Make sure to watch until :55 when Dane has to run for his life as he’s chased by a pack of crazed primates:

2) Don’t pet the monkey.
Unless you’re looking to be chased by a monkey.

3) Monkey vs. Dog
J’excuse the commentary. Truly a ninja among monkeys.

4) Baggage handlers
Searching for methods of mass destruction. If only my own baggage handlers were so kind.

5) Car-jacking
Containment is the best recourse.

6) West Side Story
Don’t give them knives. Really, don’t. Ever. Give. Them. Knives. Stupid and cruel.

7) Delinquents
When I was in India, late 70’s, I mistakenly assumed that they were being trained to steal shiny items for delivery to an “overlord.” Now I suspect that they simply evolved, learning to take and hold various items in exchange for “food.”

8) Nice hair clip
Such as this. Hmm, nice hair clip. Give Wonder Bread. I give clip.

9) Get a room
I’m not sure what he’s getting at there, beyond the obvious. She appears to be enjoying it.

10) Taekwondo
Texas. This is where it all begins, really.

VholdR top 5 snowboarding clips shot with the ContourHD helmet camera

Fans of the great outdoors probably don’t need an introduction when it comes to the VholdR ContourHD helmet camera – but I can highly recommend taking a few minutes out of your busy Friday to check out the results of their Lib Tech snowboard video contest.

The five clips posted above were all shot using the ContourHD camera – and every single one of them is simply amazing (though the winning clip is just mindblowing). So, check out the clips, and if you feel you need to document your own antics, head on over to vholdr.com to check out their assortment of products.

GadlingTV’s Travel Talk 012: Trains, planes, & mergers! Behind the scenes at Southwest Airlines, Gowalla & Gadling in Austin + a brand new GIVEAWAY!!


GadlingTV’s Travel Talk, episode 12 – Click above to watch video after the jump
Well, we’ve been bouncing around the country this week and have got a great show to prove it! From Dallas, Texas to Austin, Texas and finally Portland, Oregon – we’ll take you behind the scenes at Love Field Airport and the operational headquarters of Southwest Airlines!

In the news this week: United & Continental’s big merger, a new train makes tracks in a forbidden country, we look into the biggest World Expo in history, and find out why your toothpaste may once again be safe while traveling through Europe.

We get the inside scoop on Austin-based tech startup Gowalla, and catch up with Gadling crew for a day out on the town. Last but not least, we’re GIVING AWAY TWO FREE TICKETS on Virgin America!! Watch to the end to find out how to enter!!

Tune in next week for our full Portland, Oregon special!

If you have any questions or comments about Travel Talk, you can email us at talk AT gadling DOT com.

Subscribe via iTunes:
[iTunes] Subscribe to the Show directly in iTunes (M4V).
[RSS M4V] Add the Travel Talk feed (M4V) to your RSS aggregator and have it delivered automatically.

Links
Get the official scoop on the United/Continental merger.
U.S State Department’s guidelines for visiting North Korea.
Must Watch!! The Vice Guide to North Korea. An in-depth look at DPRK guided tours.
Going to the World Expo 2010? Download and print this form and read these instructions.
More Shanghai World Expo 2010 photos!

Contest:
We’re giving away two free tickets on Virgin America!

To enter, join our Facebook group and send us an email, telling us 1) where you would go 2) what you would do there 3) who you would take.

At the end of May, one lucky winner will be randomly selected from our inbox. So, get your friends to submit to increase your chances!!


Hosts: Stephen Greenwood, Aaron Murphy-Crews, Drew Mylrea
Special Guest: Jonathan Carroll, Jeremy Kressman.


Produced, Edited, and Directed by: Stephen Greenwood, Aaron Murphy-Crews, Drew Mylrea

Update **The current video has been revised from it’s original version at the request of Southwest airlines. We were given a sneak peak at the TSA’s baggage screening room and filmed bags being opened, which presented privacy concerns. That footage, as well as a mention of Southwest’s mechanical practices – has been removed.



Music by:
“Hraka”
Finn Riggins
myspace.com/finnriggins



All other music used in partnership with nonstopmusic.com

A Robot’s Day in Paris

Nothing brings back beautiful, warm memories of a favorite destination better than a visual experience. Thick, warm slices of the city that you remember pass from frame to frame, good angles and weather make good experiences return and that warm fuzzy feeling — the best part of travel — returns, if just for an instant.

The only thing that could enhance that feeling is robots. Check out Benoit Millot’s adaptation of the typical Paris memoir in the below video.

A day in PARIS from Benoit MILLOT on Vimeo.